Do atheists avoid church like fatties avoid the gym?

I’m not obese. I’m not fit either. I’m probably closer to the latter than the former. 

But I go to the gym.

it’s not unusual that I’m the fattest person there.

And I’m not really fat. Just a bit of dad-bod-podge.

So, where are all the fat people at my gym? 

Shouldn’t the gym be for them? Or is the gym just for those who are already fit?

I wonder this because I think many of the same reasons obese people avoid the gym reflect the reasons atheists don’t go to church.

The “professionals” at the gym, and church, are considered weirdos who take it all a bit too seriously...

Those who choose to attend, by already being fit, have already achieved what an unhealthy person wants. 

Physically, the space is intimidating. It has rules, both written and unwritten. It has devices which you may be unfamiliar with and unsure how to use.

Potentially, when change doesn’t appear quickly, the gym can be demoralising. 

Worse still, you may think that the gym isn’t making any difference at all.

In some cases, you may feel that the gym is only after your money via a membership, driven by pushy salespeople.

In many ways, the church can seem intimidating, foreign, pointless and pushy. 

And when the church exists like a gym - existing primarily to serve those who already fit in - then it shouldn’t be surprising that those “on the outside” choose to stay there.

How long until your relationship becomes prayer-able?

Prayer points.

Christians are expected to share them.

Share them with their closest friends.

Share them with their small group.

Share them with their church.

So, last night, after my small group shared their prayer points, I asked a provocative question to the singles in the room.

Would you ask for prayer if you had a date on the weekend?

The room was fairly divided.

I understand, if it’s a date with a random, you may be hesitant to ask for prayer - particularly if you have a fairly active dating schedule. But, as someone pondered, shouldn’t that situation need prayer, if nothing else, for safety? That they aren’t a creepy weirdo?

Some expressed that they may ask for prayer once things are progressing. 

But, where is the prayer line? The fourth date? When you’re getting ready to “define the relationship”? When you first go public?

One thing that a few people said was dependent upon the other romance participant being known to the group. But, does that potentially make it more awkward? What if others don’t think you’ll make a good match? Does sharing your embryonic relationship enhance the pressure upon it?

Frankly, I don’t know the answer, but I’m sure glad that it isn’t my problem anymore...

Tiny Bible Bit audit results

After tracking almost a decades worth of Facebook devotions, here’s the things which were significant...

Total posts - 1474 (Sept 25, 2011-Feb 24, 2021)

Most popular books - Matthew 136 posts, John 116, Luke 113, Psalms 106

Least popular books - Joel, Obadiah, Zephaniah all with no posts

Most popular passages - Genesis 1:1 & John 3:16 x7, Esther 4:14 & Hebrews 12:1-2 x6, Matt 1:1; 1:23; John 1:14; Romans 12:1 & Hebrews 10:25 x5

Number of Christmas posts - 34

Number of Easter posts - 24

Number of posts on the Lord’s Prayer - 19

Number of posts about COVID - 11

Most viewed boosted post - Matthew 2:16 8011 views, 176 likes, 30 shares

Boost rejected - Mark 5:25-26, apparently Facebook couldn’t handle the word period...

Most viral post - Psalm 19:1-6 389 views

Disunity starts with the convinced tribe

There is a massive, and significant, difference between disagreement and disunity in a church.

Numbers.

If I disagree with the leadership of my church - about anything - then I have the option of how to deal with that issue. Ideally, it would be handled in a mature way such as having an open and honest conversation, deciding that this issue is something you can live with/overlook or, over important enough issues, you may choose to leave with grace and goodwill.

But disunity - an ecclesiastical sin peppering the New Testament - is a different beast to disagreement. For, you sow and grow disunity when you start to gather a group.

Say, for example, that you disagree with the length of the sermons at your church. Disunity develops when you unhelpfully share your opinion with others and have them join your cause. By rallying a group together, this gives disunity a foothold.

So, the next time you want to vent about a gripe you have in church, just be careful that you’re not plunging in the planks of disunity which will ultimately splinter a church.

Summer goal learnings

First of all... learnings is not a real world. I know. Someone should inform 2020. Learnings were everywhere...

Anyway... I may not be the greatest mathematician in the world, but even I know that 2 out of 7 is a fail.

This was the outcome of my summer goals.

2 Successes. 5 Fails.

But, in reality, there’s more to it.

Sure, I failed in my weight goal, but lockdown made going to the gym difficult.

I read a book and a half, which is short of my goal, but it’s more than I would have done otherwise and was directly influenced by the toll the Tiny Bible Bit audit took.

I did do a few medical tasks, but again... COVID didn’t help.

So, what did I learn?

Well, to start, I did still completely fail two goals. Such is life. These goals remain.

More importantly, I did make progress on a few very pressing tasks which I’d been meaning to do for quite a while.

Vitally, I did more that I would have done - no matter to what degree - than if I hadn’t made my summer goals.

Really, this is the point. 

Having something to aim at - even if you only achieve a few of them and make progress on a few more - makes a difference. It starts with enough personal reflection to make goals and keeps these goals before you.

Thus concludeth the learnings.

2020-2021 Summer goals summary

 It’s the last day of summer.

So, how did I go in achieving my Summer goals?

1 - The aim was to get back down to 78kg. I didn’t. I’m currently 83, down from a max of 85. So, I’m heading in the right direct...

FAIL

2 - It took until last night, but I finally finished writing up 1473 Tiny Bible Bits posts. As nice as it has been to go over then, it took far longer than I first envisaged. But, it’s completed...

SUCCESS 

3 - The aim was to complete all the lessons of the German Duolingo course. While I’ve completed all the lessons as of this week, my OCD won’t let me consider it really finished until I’ve read every outstanding story - of which there are about 60. They should be done by the end of the month. 

I’m still looking forward to my next language. I’ve even told a few people what it will be.

SUCCESS 

4 - I wanted to read two non-fiction books. In part, due to the unexpected amount of work it took to finish the Tiny Bible Bit audit, I only finished a book and a half.

FAIL

5 - Operation No Nail Biting failed, I’m more aware of my chewing, have cut down and would still like to quit.

FAIL

6 - The aim to blog twice per week, obviously, didn’t happen. I completed around one post per week. While this is slightly more than the last few years, it seems like this is the pace renewed University study will allow.

FAIL

7 - Over the last week I started to make some progression on the medical front, actually seeing my optometrist and making a booking for a new dentist. While there was some progress, a few tasks are still outstanding.

FAIL

So, I only achieved two out of seven aims. 

What does that mean?

What lessons did I learn?

I’ll tell you in my next post...

Should you review and rewrite the past?

As I’ve recounted in my summer goals, I’ve been conducting an audit of the Tiny Bible Bits which I’ve written over the last decade.

Bloody hell it’s been a big job.

Currently, I’m midway through 2012, having back-catalogued all but the last 150 of nearly 1500 posts.

Frankly, some of the things I have written have been fairly pedestrian.

A few have been boarder-line lazy.

Most are somewhat-solid thoughts based mostly upon scripture.

More than I would have suspected are quite insightful.

The experience has been frustratingly insightful.

First of all, I’ve - quite independently - recycled a lot of input. I haven’t crunched the data yet, but I look forward to finding out which passages have been the most revisited.

Second, I’ve written some things which I’ve since softened on. Like some things in this blog, while I may not disagree with what I’ve previously penned, the tone I’ve used has sometimes been... overly self-assured.

Honestly, most of the things I’ve written have been completely wiped from my memory and I would never have rediscovered the hidden gems if I hadn’t trawled back through my previous posts.

I wonder what ministers would find if they did the same thing?

What would they change about their previous sermons?

What points in bible studies may they now disagree with?

While the foundations of the faith should be constant, over the years, experiences will dictate that your personal faith will change/develop/grow.

So, what do you do with the old info?

Do you amend it?

Do you publicise that you no longer hold this position, or at least have softened your stance?

Really, the problem only exists for those who have their prior thoughts recorded - such as in a blog or searchable sermon catalogue - but with the internet, as they say, everything is now permanent.

How many ministers in their 40’s will be haunted by what they said or wrote in their 20’s?

What would happen if we had truth in advertising?

 It sounds impossible. I know. But stick with me...

What would happen if we had truth in advertising within the church.

What if every event wasn’t going to be the biggest?

Or the best?

Or awesome?

Or life defining?

Or, even, better than last year?

What if our church services were a community which meets to worship, sing, pray, support one another, pray and learn about God and how to live the Christian life?

What if this was the way we advertised our small groups?

Or our youth groups?

Unfortunately, this may mean that the leaders within a church or ministry will need to swallow their pride and look upon their groups with realistic eyes.

But, what if we actually believed that the “ordinary” things we do actually matter?

What if they actually do result in life change?

Maybe, if we honestly believed these things then we would not only be more honest in our advertising, but more enthusiastic in the way we describe our “ordinary” groups and activities.

Has someone had to make the COVID offering request?

For many churches, I assume, that COVID-19 has been an unfolding financial nightmare. While virtual services and cancelled programs may well have reduced overheads, surely this has not offset the dramatic reduction from the offering plate.

Especially if you have a predominately elderly congregation.

Frankly, if you’re financial bottom line was dependant upon funds coming in from pensioners, then 2020 would have royally screwed your budget.

So, in a COVID world, how was this subject breached?

Was there, like the Bequest Requesters, a person - the treasurer - who went around assisting members in establishing electronic transfers to the church?

Was there a person who went around and manually collected giving envelopes? To this point, how would they be filled in during a lockdown or in an increasingly cashless society?

I don’t know what financial position many churches are in, but for those who are also dependant upon outside activities - all of whom had to shut down last year - the pressure to squeeze the offerings from the congregation would only have been intensified.

Summer goals update #2

Nine weeks ago I set myself 7 Summer goals.

How am I going?

1 - I started summer aiming to get down to 78kg. A month ago I had ballooned up to 84. With a gym off limits due to lockdown and a week with my girls in the middle of the month, I only got back to the gym a week ago. Thus, I went up to 85 but am now back down to 84. 

A new FitBit, which I got for Christmas will hopefully continue the downward trend but getting to my goal may be a problem.

2 - I’ve currently recorded every Tiny Bible Bit going back to November 2013, having logged 1114 entries. Only 300 or so more to go...

3 - Duolingo only has 1 topic still to complete and a few more tasks to mop up... (as I said last month) I’m well on track for the end of summer. 

I’m quite looking forward to my next language.

4 - I’m currently halfway through my current book, with the hope to be done by the time uni starts at the end of the month.

5 - Fail. While I’m not back to square one when it comes to Operation No Nail Biting, I’m not far away.

6 - the aim was to blog twice per week. I did four posts last month. That’s less than last month. Far fewer than hoped.

7 - Again, every medical duty is still on the to-do list... but the cat went to the vet.

Hopefully, everything will be on track by the end of summer. Hopefully...

Should you pair up dating leaders?

I’ve written before about the possibility, nay probability, that leaders in Christian ministry - if both single of course (?) - will be romantically interested in each other, date and, importantly for the following point, cultivate some church nervousness.

But, before I give my opinion, I want to make a few things clear.

Love is good.

Dating can be good. And throughly godly.

Young adults dating can be a powerful testimony, especially to those younger than them.

When teaching young people about dating, having leaders who are dating in a loving and godly way can be a true blessing.

But... I’d still try to avoid the dating leaders leading together.

Now, in some cases this won’t be possible or practical. If there are only three youth group leaders, you can’t and shouldn’t give one a timeout because they are now attached.

With this said, I would seek to create some space between the two leaders.

Why?

Because they could breakup at any time.

Relationships are messy.

And they can still be an influence upon those they minister to.

So, does the distancing need to be messy?

Frankly, no.

Ideally, you just sit your leaders down and tell them honestly that them ministering apart from the added pressure of their relationship will be advantageous. They don’t need to fret if they are cranky with each other.

Alternatively, you can just say that, while juggling all the other things which accompany pastorally caring for teens, having their focus also - unavoidably - being directed at their partner is a distraction which can be unhelpful.

After all, the leaders should be there to minister to the kids, not canoodle with their love.

Is it ok to buy love?

I don’t mind admitting that I buy love. Strategically.

I did it last week.

I did it while working as a youth minister.

Last week I paid to boost an apt Tiny Bible Bit about anger.

In the past I have printed hundreds of business cards and countless fliers.

Over the years I have given away many prizes in scripture classes and youth group.

Each year I would routinely spend hundreds of dollars taking my leaders out for meals and getaways.

None of this was mandated.

I never had to spend as much as I did in ministry or add my coin to the Facebook coffers.

But, you spend money on things which you deem valuable.

Additionally, when you spend money with an eye on the outcomes, the expenses - rightly or otherwise - are deemed an investment.

Frankly, most of the money I spent in ministry could have been saved.

I could have kept $50 in my bank account last week.

But, if you don’t personally invest in what you’re doing - hopefully wisely, with some strategic purpose - then why would you expect anyone else to?

Putting an answer cap on the Minister’s Kid

Minister’s kids can be annoying in a small group discussions.

They. Know. Everything.

Or at least they think they do.

So, how do you deal with it? 

Especially if the youngling is an extrovert. 

Or wants to derail a sharing opportunity.

Put simply, ask everyone individually - or in pairs - to list all the applicable responses they can come up with. Then, go around the group and ask everyone to share one response.

But, their are two secrets...

First, an answer can’t be repeated.

Second, you strategically place the minister’s kid in the order you want.

Either... if you suspect that the minister’s kid will parrot the generic response, you put them first. Let them answer “Jesus.” Or, if you suspect their response will be more thought out once the surface responses have been given, then put the minister’s kids last and launch a discussion off their answer.

If you do the later, having a minister’s kid in your group can be really useful if you put methods in place to challenge them, not just opening the door for them to regurgitate the same answers they’ve been giving since they were the same age as their shirt size.

Why not just reject one more?

A while ago I was in a small group discussion and I shared what I thought was the most difficult question a Christian is potentially faced with.

As a Christian you’ve rejected every other deity throughout history and the world, why not just reject another like modern atheists.

Upon reflection, this isn’t actually the toughest question that a believer will encounter. This spot rightly belongs to the question and personal experience of suffering - which I’ve responded to in four parts here.

The reason I initially thought this was the most difficult question is because it triggers so much doubt.

No one knows enough about every - or even the majority - of religions to know why they may be legitimately fallible. Across space and time there are far too many.

So, why not just reject one more?

Well, to start, the question is only somewhat based on fact.

No believer of anything is accepting because they have evenly and systematically rejected every other possible option.

Not even the most ardent atheist has done this. 

Instead, any believer in anything is so because they follow the evidence towards their belief, not away from everything else.

This is how we live our lives.

We don’t evaluate the critically reject every possible route before taking a drive. Or selecting milk. Or deciding the person we are going to marry.

I don’t trace every option on googlemaps before deciding my route.

I don’t taste every milk product before opening the fridge.

I don’t reject billions of women before walking down the aisle.

Instead, we choose one. Just one. Examine the evidence. Weigh it up. Then deciding.

That is what critical thinking atheists have, hopefully, done.

That is what critical thinking Christians should do.

Christians don’t reject every deity bar one. They accept Jesus.

Why? 

Well, hopefully, I’ve got an Apologetics tab on my blog full of convincing reasons. But the evidence that Jesus rose from the dead is a good place to start...

2020 Best of...

How do you sum up the dumpster fire that was 2020?

Frankly, aside from the last few weeks when the Northern Beaches of Sydney were placed into lockdown, this year, for me, was COVID uneventful.

I studied university full time this year - knocking off the majority of my geography minor - getting 6 distinctions and 2 credits.

Aside from that... my work was nearly unaffected.

This year, like last year, blogging was down depending upon my study schedule, nonetheless here’s the Rambling highlights of 2020...

You must have a plan for the orphans

The two things you listen through

The paid person must be the face of the controversy

Should the code be the minister’s middle name?

Why you should send the words of your prayer

Can celebrating the past show our one-ness?

Why everything must keep touching on the Corona

My first Tiny Bible Bit video

The four audiences of a sermon

Knowing how the church sausage is made does not make you a good eater

Breakdown of a healthy church budget

Nepotism questions which must be answered

The challenge of getting people back in the habit

Why a theology of space and place matters

Summer goals update #1

Four weeks ago I set myself 7 Summer goals.

How am I going?

1 - With my part of Sydney now going through another round of COVID lockdown, my gym has been shut. When I started my goals at the start of the month I was 83kg. My health app thinks that I got down to mid-82kg, I’m now post-Christmas back up to 84. My gym is scheduled to open in another week. Of course, twisting my ankle at work would mean that my gym activity would have been restricted at the moment anyway.

2 - I’ve currently recorded every Tiny Bible Bit going back to the start of 2016, including a three month sabbatical which I’d completely forgotten. So, I’m around 800 posts down...

3 - Duolingo still has 13 topics to complete... well on track for the end of next month.

4 - I just finished reading the Horrible Histories of the two world wars - fitting for a future history teacher who did no modern history - and I know the book (fiction!) I’m planning on reading next.

5 - Initially I ceased gnawing my fingernails for a good week. And then lockdown struck. As I’ve had to enter hot zones every day, my children are within a restricted zone and our Christmas plans were thrown into chaos, the fingernail preservation was put on hold.

I never thought that my chomping had to do with stress (I always thought it had to do with boredom), but anxiety may be a larger contributor than I assumed...

6 - Blogging has gone up ever so slightly... but not too much.

7 - Finally, every medical duty is still on the to-do list...

Hopefully, by the end of January, numbers 1, 5 & 6 will be back on track, numbers 2 & 3 completed and numbers 4 & 7 halfway through...

The shift of sex advice

Every so often I’ll have a chat to a young guy about sex. Usually, it will be in the context of marriage and the expectations of the first night/week/month.

I wonder how these kinds of conversations have changed over the years.

I suspect, the tone of the conversations has shifted from education to myth-busting.

In the past - especially before the prevalence of movies, trashy magazines and porn - the experience of sex would be filtered with mystery. Now, the filter is not only torn down, but a false image of sex magnified.

And, this projected picture colours our view and expectations of sex.

Generations ago, facials were not considered as a regular sexual act. Now, if you’re entire sexual diet has been fed by porn, it’s commonplace. It happens every time. 

Every. Time.

This could make for an awkward wedding night.

Now, I would like to think that “good Christian men” would never know of such things or dare expect them on their honeymoon but the torrent of porn (especially being exposed in your early teens) necessitates the shift towards painting a more realistic picture of sex.

Our young men deserve it.

Our young women deserve it.

Their marriage deserves it.

Leading singing or singing on stage?

 Last Sunday, restrictions on singing in churches were eased in Sydney and I’m curious how this resumption will effect those who, for the majority of the year, have been singing on stage without congregation participation.

I’ve written a bit about leading singing in church, including what I learnt when I had to leading singing once back in 2012, and I suspect that I will never be in a position to lead singing again (very much by choice!).

But I have the strong sense that some churches will now be led by those who will be conditioned to sing in front of a church instead of leading singing from the front.

How would you know the difference?

Simply, if no one sung, there would be no difference.

If the band can hear themselves over the congregation, then they are, most likely, singing and not leading.

If the congregation can’t hear each other over the singers, then the band are, most likely, singing and not leading.

With the resumption of singing, many churches will rekindle their fondness for congregational singing. I suspect, their appreciation for its importance will greatly magnify.

Now, I wonder, will those up the front be able to make space for this practice to occur most effective, transitioning away from the practices which they have been forced to develop during restrictions?

Why a theology of space and place matters

Over the last few months I’ve been periodically leading a bible study at my church. In doing so, a month ago I took my group through an exercise which was significant for the denomination I used to work for.

Since this denomination was an unification of three existing denominations - with subsequent amalgamation of facilities - it was important to allow space for elder members of the congregation to grieve what combining created and ended.

For some, they lost buildings full of memories.

They saw the place they got married sold.

They saw the place their kids got baptised demolished.

They saw the building they grew up in redeveloped.

And, this resulted in hurt.

Furthermore, my previous denomination was very active within the indigenous peoples and indigenous theology.

In many ways, they sort to acknowledge the pain caused to and the work required by/with the indigenous communities. 

In short, I grew up in and worked in an organisation which had a highly developed theology of space and place.

For, every believer holds to a theology of where they have been and what they have experienced.

They have places of significance.

They have spaces where they’ve strongly felt the presence of God.

In regards to the bible study I was leading, in order to begin to recognise the devastation of the Jewish exile, when we start to identify our own theology of place and space, then we can begin to empathise with what was lost in the exile.

As a middle-class Anglo, the more developed our personal sense of space and place is, then we the more we are able to relate to both those sent to Babylon, but also those within our own boarders who have been dispossessed of their lands, memories and significant places.

Summer goals

Full time uni = no time blogging.

Well, with the University year now concluded, I can get back to doing all the things which have been absorbed by the study monster.

Frankly, while my marks will indicate that this year has been fairly manageable, my sleep patterns would suggest otherwise.

In a post-uni Summer I’m going to do a few things which have been thrown off kilter in a two full COVID university semesters.

1 - Get back to the gym. When I started going to the gym regularly a few years ago I was 78kg. By the end of last year I was 81kg. While I didn’t blow out too much  during the COVID lockdown, I’m now 83kg.

Notice a trend?

My aim, over the summer, will be to get back to 78kg. Hopefully less. 

And getting back to a 32 inch waist, while only a 1.5 inch reduction, will be nice.

2 - Do an audit of the near 1400 Tiny Bible Bits posts from the last 9 years. I’ve never kept track of the passages I’ve used or the points I have made. So far, I’ve done 2 years worth of posts and... it’s taking a while. With a handful of hours each week, I should be done in a few months. I’m looking forward to seeing the results and discovering what points I’ve unknowingly recycled and what has been the places/themes I’ve touched on the most.

3 - Complete the German Duolingo course. I’ve been learning German, being now married to a half-German, since March 2018. I’ve only got a few dozen topics to completely finish and I’ve already got my next language in mind...

4 - Read 2 non-fiction books. I’ve now actually got time...

5 - Stop bitting my fingernails. I’ve tried to do this before, and was actually doing ok at it pre-COVID, but I used the global pandemic as an excuse to stop trying.

6 - Blog twice a week. I’ve got lots of topics up my sleeve. 

7 - Do all the health things which I’ve been putting off - general checkup with the GP, dentist, optometrist, skin check & actually finding out what my private health coverage entitles me to.

The aim will be to provide an update each month. Hopefully that will provide further inspiration to actually achieve some of the goals... and have a productive summer. Uni starts back at the end of February.