2022 Best Of…

This year’s Ramblings have had a different flavour.

In the most part, it’s because I’m in a different stage of life than before.

I’m not a youth minister… and I haven’t been vocationally since 2016.

I’m no longer a University student… I graduated last year.

I’m now a full time high school teacher, working my first year in a school teaching history and geography.

But, this is still a place for my musings on life, church, faith, ministry to youngsters and, now, teaching.

So, the prime Ramblings from 2022 were…

The test of Christian maturity you’ll inevitably face  

How long should you milk the controversy?

How aware are we of out time?

The cost of omitting the rituals in the evening

The dangers of Build-Your-Own Christianity 

You need to look at both sides of the marriage equation

Being on the other side of scripture teaching

What do you do with a bible you a throwing out?

What you gain when you don’t have to fake it anymore

What you preach on in your ministry diapers will shape your future

The best piece of teaching advice I’ve received 

Why Lamentations?

The reason that people leave that we MUST speak about

You may stop, but you don’t forget how

The secret to getting beyond the question “Was Sunday School fun this morning?”

The power of saying you agree (my most read post of 2020)

The only safe option when church and mental health collide 

Ministries of awareness and availability (what I think is the most important thing I’ve written in… years)

The perks of owning your own classroom

Why it’s time for the offering bags to return

The profession your minister morphs into as your church grows

Authoritative.

A constant.

A respected voice.

Something reliable in uncertain times.

Someone who shares the weighty stories of the community.

Someone you can somewhat get to know, but who will never personally know you.

Which profession am I referring to?

A newsreader.

But I could easily be referring to a long-term minister at a large church.

They have all the hallmarks of a beloved newsreader.

They are a familiar face.

They are a trusted voice.

They are someone who has been in the background of all the significant events.

But… they are in the background.

They are a voice… which doesn’t know your name.

They are one who shares select stories… but didn’t know yours.

And herein lies the weakness of supersized Christianity.

The flock is too large for the shepherd.

For example, today I graduated from University.

In all likelihood, my current minister will have no idea.

He won’t know to ask me about it on Sunday.

There’s a decent chance that he won’t even get around to speaking with me on Sunday.

And… this isn’t his fault. I attend a church large enough that the senior minister cannot possibly be in personal contact with everyone weekly.

The downside is that your minister becomes more like a beloved newsreader and less like a shepherd who intimately knows each individual sheep.

Why it’s time for the offering bags to return

At most churches everything appears pre-COVID.

All ministries have reactivated.

Attendance is back to normal.

Christmas will be business-as-usual.

Of course, the signs of COVID still linger.

COVID safety plans are still in effect - some social distancing, stay away if you’re sick, online services are still an option to tune in to.

But, one thing has remained absent - the offering bag.

These velvet pouches or wooden plates have remained in mothballs.

But, it’s time they returned.

Why?

Because we need to get back into the habit of giving.

We need to be reminded that giving is a communal activity.

We need to remember that giving is a physical discipline.

Online, direct-debit, giving - while absolutely essential during lockdowns - has stripped the congregation of the tangible-ness of the offering.

We need to get that back.

If we don’t, the offering will remain another weekly bill that we barely notice.

The habit of bringing your offering will go unlearnt by younger generations.

While I’m sure the offering bags won’t overflow with their reintroduction, since cash is a far rarer commodity nowadays, the lessons that the offering bags teach are well worth their return.

The power of the meeting confession

Last Sunday I was in a church meeting. Nothing unexpected was predicted.

How wrong I was.

During the meeting the church leadership did something I’ve never seen before.

They publicly confessed.

Openly.

In front of the entire church.

Without even the hint of a scandal.

They admitted that they’ve let people down.

They admitted that they’ve miscommunicated.

And then they were prayed for, while kneeling before the congregation, by a lay leader of the church.

It was refreshing to see and hear.

It was vulnerable.

It was authentic.

It was something I’d never considered doing personally.

Nor was it something I’d heard done elsewhere.

But, it’s moments of pastoral awareness like this which dramatically add relational capital with those who have been let down by the leadership and those who will remain under the pastoral wings of the leaders.

Why I showed a bunch of non-preachers how you prepare a sermon

Meditation.

Investigation.

Reflection.

These are the steps I took a group of young adults through last night.

In short, we went through the process that you’d go through in order to write a sermon.

Meditation: Think deeply and slowly about the text. Note anything that jumps out, surprises or raises questions.

Investigation: Research the details of the passage and delve into some of the things raised as you meditated on the passage. Use resources of various types and depths.

Reflection: Write out your thoughts. Make connections. Draw out application. Share your thoughts with others.

Obviously, I won’t be delivering a sermon on Sunday based upon the passage we dealt with last night.

No one in the room will be.

But, in going through the process, it exposes those present to the steps a preacher will undergo and, more importantly, arm them with an effective method to deeply interact with a bible passage.

The danger of teaching the simple things

Currently, I teach junior high-schoolers.

Within my subjects - history and geography - there is a sizeable element within the curriculum for subject skills.

Frankly, some of it is really basic.

For example, direction.

Simple. North, East, South, West.

Year 7 have a whole lesson dedicated to direction.

The danger of teaching such topics is this… I find it simple. Obvious. Easy.

So, the temptation exists to not teach it throughly.

Instead, you assume that the students will understand the content quickly. 

The assumption can be that the answers will be as obvious to them as it is to me.

Of course… this ignores the fact that I learnt some of these skills over a quarter of a century ago. And I’ve now got multiple degrees.

A similar thing can happen with the gospel.

We can assume, just because something is clear for us, then it should come quickly for others.

This isn’t how it works.

For some, the ability to connect the dots will take time.

The ability to link the concepts will not click until they have their individual light-bulb moment.

The ability of a good teacher - be it in the classroom, Bible study or pulpit - is to ride the wave of discovery with the learner, not just going at the pace you assume will be enough to fly through the content.

The key is patience.

Why every church needs a kid’s ministry cheat sheet

The kid’s name

Date of birth

Father’s name

Father’s occupation

Mother’s name

Mother’s occupation

Dietary information

Length of time at church

Other pertinent details (for example, attends fortnightly, parents divorced, pressing health concerns or history, interests, activities which may restrict attendance)

This is the list of information all churches should know and have available to those working with children within a church congregation setting.

This information lets you enter a ministry situation with your eyes open.

It allows an unfamiliar person to be able to make and see connections.

It allows for personal touches to be included.

It highlights red flags that a new person could trip over.

It assists in the development of relationships.

In short, this cheat sheet puts someone on the highway to making those they newly minister to feel a sense of belonging.

Now, the teaching can incorporate personal connections.

Important dates won’t be overlooked.

Awkward parent interactions can be somewhat averted because you now have some background information to chat about.

Basically, this information arms you and bales you out.

The two reasons my daughter will be sending you to hell

Today my eldest was educating me about God and how heaven works.

I thought I’d already figured it out.

Apparently, you go to hell if you aren’t a Christian. 

Or hurt the planet.

It turns out that climate change denial or lack of effort to avert the warning of the globe will result in damnation.

While I didn’t immediately amend her ideas about the end times and judgement, I did wonder where she developed the connection between hell and climate change.

Is this the level that the youngest generation equate with the issue of climate change?

It’s a damnable offence?

I assume that every generation has had a similar hot-button issue that they would project in a similar fashion (justifiable or otherwise), be it the aids epidemic, nuclear war, the civil rights movement, abolition…

I wonder if we consider the effects these globe-defying, civilisation-shaping generational topics have on the mindset of the young.

As they hear about the “next great calamity facing humanity,” do we consider the gravity of the message we are implanting on our most impressionable minds?

Should we be okay with any youngster thinking that any topic is on par with the destination you’re going to end up in after your dead?

The perks of owning your own classroom

A decade ago I wrote that a preacher needs to own the room.

The same is true for a teacher.

But, currently, I don’t have an assigned room.

I’m like a man without a country. A teaching orphan. 

But I wish I did have a room.

A place I could consider “home”.

A place to decorate.

A place to display assignments.

A place to be proud of.

A place of routine.

A place of consistency.

A place to be dictatorial over the placement of the tables.

But mainly… I want a space that is… mine.

A place I somewhat own.

A place of regularity.

A place where my students will meet me, not me rushing to meet them… somewhere.

A place to store what I need.

A place to stash what I’ve found.

A place which my classes will be familiar with.

A place with visual reminders of what we learn about and what they are expected to produce.

These are the perks of having your own space.

Would I be an A-Grade student?

World War 1 was caused by the ignition of the four primary conditions rife throughout Europe leading up to “The Great War.” These conditions - militarism, alliances, imperialism and nationalism - combined to form the kindling which would be set alight by the two primary triggering events - The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the initiation of the Schlieffen Plan by the Germans.

This is how I would start the year 9 essay that was due from my history classes week.

Now, I’m marking 45 responses over the next few days.

This is on top of the 100 or so essays I had to mark during the last school holidays.

But, what mark would I receive if I wrote my 800-word response and slid it, anonymously, in with one of the classes of my fellow teachers?

Would they notice any significant difference in the essay?

If a reciprocal event occurred, would I detect the inclusion of another faculty members’ submission?

The question is intriguing.

Would I get full marks? You’d hope so.

Would I give out the full compliment of marks to a teacher who has been instructing on the topic a half-dozen times?

Could you conduct such an experiment without becoming dreadfully unpopular due to the addition of a half-dozen essays on top of the workload your colleagues already juggle?

To an extent, the practice would be of great benefit to new teachers, fine-tuning the instructions they give to their students.

If only I had the time to pen my responses…

What should you say about the previous week’s sermon?

When you’re preaching, you’re not an island.

You’re connected to the congregation.

You’re connected to those in the wider church whom you’ve read and listened to in preparation.

Importantly, if those present were attending last Sunday, you’re connected to the person who preached the previous week.

So, if you reference the previous speaker, what should you say?

To begin with, it all depends what you thought of the sermon last Sunday? 

Did you agree with what they said? Is there a natural connection to what you are currently saying?

Frankly, I think that the majority of the time, you won’t reference who spoke seven days prior. You just won’t need to. 

They will have done a perfectly faithful, adequate, job. They used the text well. They shared the message of Jesus. They applied their points so they would impact beyond the few hours on a Sunday morning or evening. 

But, what if you have something to add?

While there’s nothing wrong with chipping in to the sermon last week, I’d hope you have enough to say about the passage before you currently to forego the addition.

Furthermore, if you intend to correct something said the week prior (unless it is a simple factual mistake that can be addressed within 30 seconds) then the majority of criticisms are better touched on in person with the preacher, not flaunted at the pulpit without the ability for a response.

Let’s face it, it would be foolish to start an ongoing theological debate cross-crossing  a number of weeks.

The pulpit should primarily be for the edification of the congregation, not a place for academic arm-wrestling or chest-puffing.

The best thing you could do, if you’re pointing people back to the previous week, is to say that you agree with what you heard. Declare that you genuinely agreed. Say where you saw God move as a consequence. Share how the message inspired you. Better yet, tell the congregation how this previous message helped shape your current sermon.

These are the best ways, if you have to at all, to share the spotlight with the preacher the week before.

Beware of the whisperers

Some people love to whisper.

They delight in hushed conversations.

They love muttered debriefs.

And the two places they reside the most are churches and staff-rooms.

This is when they are in their element.

But, the danger is, if you get sucked into the whispered diatribes - given enough time - you will be the one whispered about…

The harm of having a window for taboo topics?

How often does your church preach on controversial issues?

How often do they intentionally speak about current trends?

How often will they directly address the questions you’re most likely to have?

In youth ministry, these are must-hit targets.

You must teach on the things at the both core and cutting edge of youth culture.

But, I’m not sure that these targets are as intentionally hit from most pulpits.

Will they speak on taboos if the intersect with the biblical passage they were preaching on nonetheless? You’d hope so. But, these hot-button issues are often touched on by happenstance than design.

What effect does this have?

If a church tiptoes around controversial issues, surely this risks putting it out of touch, for the messages from the pulpit won’t intersect with the water cooler in the workplace.

This evasion not only paints the church as irrelevant, but fails to equip church members to engage with uneasy topics.

Furthermore, if their church shys away from the meatier topics, this weakens those who are new to the faith.

It would be a tremendous detriment if the taboo window slammed shut after, say, the age of 25.

If a church wants their people to live fruitfully in the world then they shouldn’t  remain silent on Sunday about the issues discussed on Monday.

The essential interview mindset

It’s not unusual that an element of a church service will involve an interview, be it with an invited guest or a member of the congregation.

Most times, it is a refreshing change from the regular church service format.

But, the church interview must come with a few m generally understood, disclaimers.

1 - You’re only getting a part of the story. Be it a snippet of a wider series of events or the slant which the interviewer wants to investigate.

2 - You’re only getting a few minutes. Tying closely with my first point, there will be more story for the speaker to tell. You’re only getting a taste.

3 - You’re only getting one side. It should be obvious, but you’re Primarily getting the point-of-view of the interviewee.

4 - The story isn’t finished yet. No matter where the one holding the microphone is on their journey of life and faith, it is still ongoing. 

5 - The speaker may still be working everything out. Depending on the proximity of the event being discussed, the speaker may be still processing what has occurred.

6 - You’re not getting a complete theology of the interviewee. They are there for a purpose, and open unpacking of their systematic theology isn’t it. We should never expect one nor walk away thinking that we’ve heard one.

7 - Finally, an interview is vastly different from a book. The later is throughly prepared. Each chapter, paragraph, phrase and word can be scrutinised over. A interview, is off-the-cuff. It is impromptu. 

So… while interviews are excellent, everyone should go in with their eyes and ears open to avoid disappointment and misunderstanding. 

How long do you need to commemorate?

A few weeks back, September 11 fell on a Sunday.

I had no idea.

I heard nothing mentioned in church.

The potential significance of this date didn’t even occur to me until my wife mentioned something on the way home.

She thought that something should have been mentioned. At least in passing.

I thought it was perfectly acceptable that the date went past without acknowledgment.

Why?

Because you don’t have to be shackled to the past.

Sure, if I was in America or there was a significant connection between the congregation and 9/11, then it should definitely be a factor within the service.

But in Australia…

21 years later…

I’m perfectly fine with it not being mentioned.

Because, with the passing of time, every date has an event attached with it.

The sinking of the Titanic… April 14.

The ending of apartheid in South Africa… May 4.

The sacking of Rome…August 24.

On the day I write this - September 29 - The Greeks defeated the Persians at the Battle of Salamis.

If they got mentioned during a church service… it would be interesting… but not something that I’d expect.

Surely, with the passing of time, modern events need to eventually fall into this skippable category as well.

Ministries of awareness and availability

Miscarriages.

Eating disorders.

Cancer.

Grief.

The list of things that the church doesn’t speak enough about is lengthy.

The shame about this list, and it could cover dozens of topics, is that it is made up of the very things that those within their congregation (and those around them) are struggling with.

These unspoken needs need a voice.

And, ideally, a face.

For, far too often, those who struggle feel that they are suffering alone.

I wish the church dealt with these issues better.

But, I have little idea how it could effectively happen.

For, these topics aren’t ones where you can have a weekly meeting. 

You don’t create a program for these topics.

Or do a ten-week sermon series.

But, the church can do two important things.

Awareness and availability.

The church must be aware of these topics.

The church must be prepared to speak about them.

The church must make room for them.

Beyond that, the best way the church can effectively minister to those struggling with these neglected topics are believers who are available.

Those who have gone through it.

Those who have struggled through it.

Those who have come out the other side of it.

These people need to be made available.

Ideally, the church should have some kind of list of those within their congregation who have endured adversities, deeply thought about what they went through and emerged with their faith intact.

Speaking with these available people will minister to someone far more effectively than a spiel from the pulpit.

The church needs to exercise the ministries of awareness and availability…

The only safe option when church and mental health collide

Communion and alcoholism.

Church meals and eating disorders.

Prayers and anxiety.

Singing and anxiety.

Blessings and depression.

Baptisms and infertility.

The more you think about it, the more you realise that church events and activities intersect with potential mental health issues. 

When I was in ministry, I didn’t give it too much thought.

It’s not that I didn’t care about the mental health issues of others, I just didn’t connect the dots between the tasks the church ask people to do and the obstacles these may erect.

So, how should the church navigate these dangerous waters?

Put simply, we need to give people the chance to opt out.

Up front, we should acknowledge that some things and church does can be problematic. And we allow people to not attend. 

In fact, alongside a conversation, we should encourage absenteeism.

This is how we communicate that the church is a safe place.

More so, this is how the church communicates that - no matter what issues you come to church with - the church is a place you can belong.

But this only happens if the invitation to NOT be involved is communicated.

Can a Christian believe in our immanent doom?

At. Any. Moment.

Via asteroid strike.

Through the Sun exploding.

As a result of a cosmic weapon.

We could die at any moment.

But, can a Christian believe this?

It don’t think so.

Why?

Because this is not what the Bible foretells.

This age draws to a close through the return of Jesus.

Not an alien intervention.

Nor a zombie apocalypse.

As someone who trusts the words of the bible, immediate destruction simply isn’t an option.

This should be a comfort.

We won’t die from a ball of fire from the sky.

But, this doesn’t leave a Christian without a sense of urgency.

Jesus can return at anytime.

Without warning.

The difference between a sermon and a podfast

I nearly a complete degree listening to the lectures at double speed.

I listen to most of my podcasts at 1.5x.

When I listen to sermons I’ve missed at church, I will get through them in half the time they were delivered.

What affect does this have?

How is preaching impacted in the time of podfasts?

Of course, if you’re attending any presentation life, you’re fully aware that there will only be one speed.

That which the speaker decides.

And, in part, this is a powerful result.

When you listen to a sermon, under the (hopeful) guidance of the Holy Spirit, you are the recipient.

You don’t control the speed.

You don’t control the length.

You don’t, most likely, control the content.

In a podcast you dictate all of these.

But, listening to a sermon live removes you from control.

The aim is to be in a group beyond nice

We have all been in a group which is nice.

No one objects.

No one disagrees.

No one argues.

No one is… honest.

Instead, everyone is nice.

Churches are… nice.

Bible studies are… nice.

Meetings are… nice.

But the truth is, we need more than nice.

In a safe space… We need truth.

In a respectful manner… We need challenge.

This is the kind of churches we need.

This is the kind of small groups we need.

This is the kind of meetings we need.

Why?

Because nice doesn’t produce growth.

The power of saying you agree

I, sometimes unhelpfully, like to think that I’m the smartest person in the room.

Or the funniest.

Or the one who is the “most insightful.”

The reality is, of course, that this is really true.

Nonetheless, one of the consequences of this delusion is that I’ll speak up in small groups I’m comfortable in.

I’ll put in my two-cents.

I’ll be the one to crack the joke.

I’ll also be the one who will play the “alternate viewpoint.” 

With this being the case, I did something a little unexpected during the week.

I agreed with someone.

Completely.

Without reservation.

In a small group setting, like a bible study, this is something which can often go unspoken.

I can, if I’m in agreement, just allow a statement to sit and the conversation to move forward.

Why?

Because I’ll only interject if a have something to add. 

Or correct.

This strips the speaker of the power of validation.

My silence can deny the sharer with the encouragement of solidarity.

As someone who may be renowned as being a contrarian, speaking up and saying that you wholeheartedly agree, can hold a power which is a far better use of your words than staying silent or waiting for your moment to interject.

The difference between teaching and preaching is in the eyes

school teaching is not the same as preaching.

How do I know?

The amount of eye contact used.

I don’t really make intentional eye contact when I teach my students unless it is to subtly alert them to the fact that they aren’t paying attention.

This is the complete opposite of preaching. In this, eye contact is critical.

The difference lies in the personal connection which is intended in the two.

When teaching, often, I’m simply conveying instructions or information.

When I preached, I was hoping to connect my message to the lives of those listening.

The first requires you to hear me, but no need for any intimate connection.

The later flourishes in relationships.

And this desired connection between your words and someone in the congregation is bonded with your eyes.

The blessing and danger of boomerang-ing back to your spiritual home

Depending on the time of your conversion, there is a fair chance that you’ll have a church you consider your spiritual “ancestral home”.

You grew up there.

You made memories there.

You had spiritual awakenings there.

You had mentors there.

Maybe you got married there.

Maybe your children were even baptised there.

But… after years or decades, you moved on.

Maybe it was caused by a change in geography, vocational or life circumstance - no matter - you’re now at a new church.

This is me.

I’ve been at my current church for around five years.

Prior to my years in youth ministry, I attended the church I was converted in for a decade-and-a-half.

This is my spiritual home.

And I haven’t been back for quite a few years.

But, I wonder, should I periodically return?

Should churches expect boomerang visitors?

If a church has a long-term history, but finds itself in a location which is financially unrealistic for young adults to stay, can a return Sunday be a genuine blessing or ministry opportunity?

Frankly, I don’t know.

I don’t know, aside from a slice of morbid curiosity, what boomerang-ing visitors would achieve.

Sure, I’d like to know whom, after a decade or two is still alive… but that shouldn’t be the reason I visit.

I’d like to know how things have changed… but that isn’t why I should attend.

I’d like to take a gander at the renovations… but that isn’t why I should darken the doors on a Sunday morning.

To be honest, every reason I’d have for attending would be a little self-serving.

I’d feel like an ecclesiastical tourist.

But, what about those at my home church?

May they not gain something?

Won’t they enjoy seeing me?

Perhaps.

But there is a flip side to this issue.

What if everything isn’t how you expect it to be?

What if your home church is dying?

What if they’ve made changes to something you deeply valued?

What if those you looked up to are now deceased and you’ve missed their funeral?

What if you’re no longer in ministry and they aren’t aware?

What if you ultimately leave more disappointed than encouraged?

The secret to getting beyond the question “Was Sunday School fun this morning?”

If a church wants to be genuinely “family friendly” I think there must be a part of the service dedicated to some form of children’s address or talk.

In doing so, I think it strongly informs the regular congregation and guests that teaching and including the young people is a vital element of the meeting time.

But, the way I give kid’s talks changed a lot over a decade.

Originally, my kid’s talks were very one-sided.

I’d talk.

I’d refer to the prop or activity.

Over time, I discovered a secret.

Questions.

First of all, while encouraging those with kids to sit near the front (so the kids can see what’s going on), I wouldn’t split them from their families by inviting the kids down the front on a Sunday morning.

Why?

Because I want the kids, parents and entire congregation to engage with my question.

This, I believe is the key to intergenerational worship. 

Let them wonder together. 

Allow them to talk. 

Give them space to share their stories.

By punctuating your kid’s address with a question, vitally, you open the door for further conversations.

For example, a few weeks ago I did a short address before my local congregation about what I would be doing with the youngsters during church.

In doing so, I referred to my prop, explained how it connected to my greater point, and asked the congregation to share a story linked to my object.

In this case, my question was… “How is God like a chicken plate?”

In context, this makes complete sense (trust me!).

But, most importantly, this question opened up conversations after the service.

Now, the adults could pose this question to each other and to the youth they bump into after church.

Now, the default query “was kid’s church fun/good/exciting?” can be replaced by a far deeper, more informed question.

As I wrote here, most ministers would gain a lot be doing a series of kid’s talks. With this, the way they communicate theology (simply!) and elicit further conversation, would improve many a Sunday sermon.

Working out who you would be to guide your responses

The quiet kid.

The checks kid.

The distant kid.

The bullied kid.

The uncertain kid.

The smart kid.

After a while, every kid becomes the something kid.

It’s true in the classroom.

It’s true in the church.

Who was I?

This is a question that should get asked from those up the front.

If it applies, which seat would they have been sitting in a decade ago?

Where would they fit in their class?

Which kid would they be like?

Better yet, warts and all, who were they like? 

The bully?

The wise ass?

The disinterested one?

We need those in leadership and authority to remember that they, at one time, were in the seats of the classroom or, potentially, pews of the church.

How would they have wanted to be treated back then?

It is this process which builds empathy.

It is this process which can direct the most positive ways to react to certain students.

Everyone has a seventh-level-of-hell that they must endure

Dancing.

Year 10.

For five weeks.

If you’re a PE teacher in NSW, this is a part of your job.

I would hate it.

It would be a month-and-a-half drain to my soul.

But, you'd have to do it.

Every job holds elements like this.

Things you need to do but don’t necessarily enjoy. Or at least don’t enjoy as much as the other parts.

It is important that these things are recognised.

In every job.

In doing this you gain empathy for the struggles they have.

For, everyone has long shifts.

Everyone has long weeks.

Everyone has difficult tasks.

Everyone has jobs with groan inducing elements.

This is true for teaching.

And ministry.

And churches.

While troubles shouldn’t be the bulk of your work, while the grass may appear greener elsewhere, it’s good to remember that every patch has a bunch of weeds.

You may stop, but you don’t forget how

I used a prop to connect with my point.

I did a short talk in church, including a sharing question.

I told the congregation what the kids would be doing while the church service was on.

I played a simple game.

I led singing, making quite a fool of myself.

I explained a simple point, again, using a prop.

I included the kids in the teaching activities.

In short, I ran the kids activities at my daughter’s church for the first time last Sunday.

In fact, it was the first dose of ministry with children I have done since 2016.

And nothing that I did was very difficult.

Or groundbreaking.

But… it was fairly successful and well received.

Last Sunday was a nice reminder, for me, that ministry is still something that I can do.

I still have many of the tools.

I still have many of the routines.

For those out of ministry for a while, this is a source of angst - Do I still have it?

Of course, everything we do in church should be ultimately empowered by the Holy Spirit.

But, in many ways, ministry is like riding a bike.

So long as you still have a strong faith, you don’t forget, you just fall out of routine.

Is shacking-up the next step you should encourage for your young adults?

I grew up in and worked for the church in Australia with the oldest average demographic.

It wasn’t uncommon that I was the eldest of “the youth”, with the next oldest above me at least a decade older. Sometimes significantly more.

But, I was in churches where young adults grew to become members of the church - thus my 100+ posts on the topic.

Usually, the young adults I’ve w irked with have had three destinations. Get married. Move away, usually fuelled by financial pressures or job opportunities. Leave their home church in order to connect with more people of their own age, particularly if they have no romantic prospects at their current church. Or, unfortunately, fall away.

But, for those who stick around, what should a church recommend that they do post-young adult?

Should a church hope that those who are unwed move in together?

Frankly, I think, this is a wiser option than living alone.

Financially, it makes sense. Especially living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, as I do.

Spiritually, I’d hope that living with other believers is a beneficial decision.

But, can a church nudge their unattached young adults of the same gender together? Should they?

Unless the process happens organically, I suspect the whole process could get very messy.

The last thing that you want is for your church to become unsettled because of cliques which form or stresses from home bleeding into church.

But, if your young adults are looking fir a good way to step away from the nest, doing it with fellow believers is definitely something that the church should encourage.

Should you pray for the Holy Spirit to transform a disruptive student?

I’m currently working at a really good school. The staff great. My faculty is incredible. The students, in the main, are good to teach.

But, it is not a school connected with a faith system.

And I’m perfectly okay with that.

I wonder about my colleagues who work in Christian schools, especially when it comes to… unruly students.

While I have no doubt that they use many - if not all - the same disciplinary procedures that my current school instigates, what role does faith play?

Does the school expect better behaviour due to its spiritual context?

Do they expect better behaviour if a student has expressed a faith?

For a student who has expressed a faith, can you bring this up with a disruptive student?

What role does prayer and the Holy Spirit play in the behaviour in the classroom?

Do teachers pray for troublesome students? 

Is this an occurrence which happens before difficult classes?

Could you ask for prayer from your colleagues or head teacher?

Do you pray for the Holy Spirit to work in the live of “that” kid?

A fortnight of the alone lifestyle

Currently, my wife is in Europe until the end of the month. Aside from next weekend when I’ll have my girls, I’m living alone. 

Just me and the cat.

For the first time ever I’m living without another human.

In 40+ years.

My living arrangements of the past four decades have gone… living at home with my parents, to living with my first wife, back with my mum and now living with my current wife.

The next fortnight will be, in my memory, the longest that I’ll be living solo.

And, I’m aware that it comes with dangers.

If I sleep in, then no one will wake me.

If I choose to eat corn chips for dinner, no one can stop me.

If I decide to binge Netflix until the wee hours of the morning, there will be no dissenting voices.

I can watch porn.

I can stay in bed all weekend.

I can postpone the washing.

I can do… almost anything.

And no one will stop me.

At the moment, it’s just me. 

And the cat. 

And my conscience.

And the Holy Spirit.

And, this is the danger of living alone.

And why I caution Christian guys against it.

For, anonymity… boredom… and opportunity are the fertiliser of bad ideas.

Indeed, it is not good for a man to be alone.

And, for the next fortnight I’ll be on my lonesome.

Could we still be accused of incest and cannibalism?

In early Christianity there were two prevailing stories.

#1. Love feasts with their brothers and sisters whom share the body and blood.

#2. Incest and cannibalism.

Both could, potentially, be descriptions of the same thing.

Of course, the first description is of early church services involving the sharing of communion.

The second is how it looked, was twisted, or was slandered, by those outside the church.

I wonder, could a similar accusation be levelled today?

Could the practices of a mainline church be so confusing?

Could it be open to such a misinterpretation?

I want to say no. What we do isn’t that weird.

But it is.

I’ve been in the middle of church services and been utterly confused.

I’ve done some very strange things in youth groups and kids clubs and camps.

But could I be accused of incest? 

Cannibalism?

I suspect not.

But it does show that, to those on the outside looking in, they’ve been confused by the rituals Christians do since day one.

The balance has shifted but will never tip all the way

I just added a new topic tab to the side panel of the blog - Teaching.

This shouldn’t be a shock. Being a new teacher, I’ve been progressively writing more about teaching.

With this, primarily, being a blog about me and what’s going on in my life, teaching a gaining a large foothold.

Conversely, vocational youth ministry has taken a back-seat.

I used to do one.

I now do the other.

But, I imagine the former will never overtake the later in the totality of my blog.

Why?

Because I’ll always be writing, in the periphery, about youth ministry.

I still work with teenagers.

My daughters will soon be teenagers.

I’ll still recall lessons I learnt while in youth ministry.

If nothing else, as a topic, youth ministry has a lead of almost 400 posts.

But, teaching do it’s best to catch up.

We aren’t meant to walk on crutches 24/7

 We all use crutches.

Teachers use crutches. Especially at the end of the term or when they are getting snowed under by marking or report writing.

Videos. Worksheets. Textbook work. Recycled lessons. Online learning content.

Those in ministry also use crutches, especially in the crazier times of the liturgical calendar like Easter.

YouTube clips. sermon recordings. Lesson outlines. Packaged curriculum. 

We all need crutches.

They help us when we are burdened or have a limp.

But, we aren’t meant to live on them permanently.

Crutches must be tossed aside, stored away for times of need once we are in a time and space of health.

This is their purpose.

Any other use is a sign that you need to reevaluate how you’re doing things or take a season away and refresh.

The reason people leave that we MUST speak about

Youth ministry drop out points. Again.

I keep returning to this topic because, first of all, it keeps entering my mind. I think about it a lot.

Second, the issue matters. Those who are connected to the church - never mind in vocational ministry - must care about those within the church. This, inevitably, will involve those who transition out of the church.

Third, I genuinely believe that this is a topic that demands to be spoken about. It matters. And enough people don’t think about it or speak about it.

So…here we are again.

But, I also keep returning to this topic because I keep discovering ways that I’ve undersold it. For, it is much bigger, deeper and more complex topic which a series of ages, life stages, or relational steps won’t cover.

And this drop out point is dark.

It is painful.

It is devastating.

Abuse.

Physical.

Sexual.

Spiritual.

This is a drop out point that is self-inflicted by the church.

And, it is one that can result in the door of the church being permanently closed.

But, it exists.

Shamefully.

And, it must be spoken about.

To do otherwise would be to continue a history of silence, wilful ignorance and cover-up.

So… while it hurts to say, abuse must be a factor adding to those leaking out the back door of the church.

The victims.

Their family.

Their friends.

Why Lamentations?

I usually don’t post things I write in Tiny Bible Bits. It’s not because they aren’t insightful, but because the idea of regularly sharing something in two places online seemed a tad self-indulgent.

But my latest post was really good. It was about the value of the book of Lamentations.

Enjoy…

Lamentations 1:12 - 12 “Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Look around and see. Is any suffering like my suffering that was inflicted on me, that the Lord brought on me in the day of his fierce anger?”

No one reads the book of Lamentations. 

Why would you? It’s so very depressing.

Furthermore, why does such a woeful book belong in the bible?

The book of Lamentations is valuable for a number of reasons.

First, it provides us with a vocabulary of suffering.

This is important, secondly, because life - this side of heaven - involves suffering. We, to varying degrees, will feel the same as the author of Lamentations to the suffering around us.

Third, Lamentations gives a voice to the suffering of those who lived through Jerusalem’s destruction. Their suffering, especially as a consequence of continual covenant failure, deserves to be heard. These five chapters are their memorial.

Fourth, it must serve as a warning for us who read the account of the acrostic Lament poems. Rebellion against God, even with Him patience, has consequences.

Finally, Lamentations serves as a comfort to those who suffer. Through the words of the poet the present-day sufferers tears are validated. 

We can believe that the life of faith will always be comfortable and without tragedy. We can fall into the trap that Jesus is like a cosmic lucky charm. Lamentations consoles those who are intimately aware that this is not the case.

They can cry out with Lamentations to the God who, in time, hears and sees our suffering.

The book of Lamentations, while not comfortable, is a book that deserves our time amd attention. Because the life of faith, walked with Jesus, can still reflect the words of Lamentations. 

And, when we read, empathise and learn from Lamentations we do so beside the God who is Himself familiar with suffering and reaches out to those who need comfort.

The best piece of teaching advice I’ve received

Teaching in schools is different to youth ministry.

The later is powered by the Spirit of God and relationships. 

As you minister to others you grow closer to them, and as you add relational collateral, your ministry becomes more impactful. In many places, building relationships will be an element of your job description.

The former is primarily about content. 

You teach what you need to. While it is a benefit, being liked is not a part of your job description. Teaching the syllabus is in your job outline. Being liked is a bonus.

Frankly, most teachers are friendly enough and passionate enough to become liked the longer they teach a student.

But, it isn’t required.

This ties into the best piece of teaching advice I’ve ever been given.

Now, in context, this guy is an excellent teacher who is generally liked by all - staff and students.

His advice to me was this… 

“Remember, they are only 15. Don’t worry about what they think.”

His point was simple.

You should never, ever, let your worth or value be impacted by the opinions of your students.

Why?

Because they are only 15.

Whom you teach for just a few hours per week.

Whether they like you or not should have little bearing on the way you wake up. Or prepare lessons. Or deliver lessons. Or drive home. Or get to sleep.

They are only teens.

Instead, focus in doing your job well.

If you do that. And aren’t a dick. Most students will like you anyway.

And the ones who don’t… you only teach them a few hours a week.

And it may have absolutely nothing to do with you anyway…

We must hold our plans loosely

Work at a my home church 20 hours per week. Then 25. Then 30.

Work at a larger church.

Work at a church with a larger youth ministry.

Work at a church full-time.

Work at building a strong youth ministry for a decade.

Work at another church full-time.

Build a strong youth ministry, particularly working with the young adults.

Work at another church…

This was the plan.

It didn’t work out that way.

Now the plan is…

Work at a school full-time, gaining familiarity with the way schools operate.

Gain teaching proficiency.

Take more senior classes.

Become accredited in teaching Religious Studies/Studies of Religion.

Get my new subject taught in my school, teaching it for a few years.

Become a highly accomplished teacher.

Potentially, this will take the best part of a decade.

But, plans can change.

The last decade has made that abundantly clear.

As life goes on, and our plans change, we learn that we need to hold our plans loosely. 

Over time, we learn the truth of Proverbs 19:21 -

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

What you preach on in your ministry diapers will shape your future

Over their career, ministers deliver thousands of sermons.

Having only worked as a youth minister for over a decade, thus not preaching weekly, I gave around 200 sermons.

But, not every sermon is equal.

Your first sermons are special.

You are extra nervous.

You are extra prepared.

You invite guests.

But, most importantly, your first handful of sermons will be further spaced out.

This is why you can be more prepared.

This is why you can sit with the passage longer.

This is why you can ruminate on your points.

This is why the message can soak deeper into the one giving the sermon.

For, as time goes on and you gain both trust, experience and responsibility, the sermon treadmill will restrict this depth of impact.

When you preach weekly, the time a sermon has to soak in will get squeezed out.

There will be another sermon the following Sunday. And then another. And another.

With this timetable, your first - intermittent - season of sermons will leave a greater impact.

So, I wonder, how many ministries have been shaped by these embryonic homilies?

How many decades of serving have been shaped by the point they were able to sit with for a few weeks?

How many ministers have been moulded by the sermon on evangelism, or social justice or deliverance because that - by coincidence - was what they spoke on and stewed over as a young minister?

I suspect, many of the things an experienced minister is passionate about have a direct connection to something they said in their early wadings into the pulpit.

What you gain when you don’t have to fake it anymore

Your first year in most jobs can be summed up with the famous quip: Fake it until you make it.

This is true in the school. It is also true within the church.

A few weeks ago I did my first PDP (professional development plan) at school.

One of the aims I had, understandably, was to increase my familiarity with the systems and structures of the school I’m currently working in.

Frankly, as would be expected in my first year of teaching, I don’t know a lot.

I started out as a near clean slate.

But, now, I’ve taught somewhere in the vicinity of 350 lessons.

I’ve filled out my first few grades of student reports.

I’ve navigated the first semester of exams and marking.

I can now, fairly confidently, navigate timetables, class covers and incident reports.

Just today I was sharing the secret I’ve gleaned about negotiating parent-teacher interviews.

In a relatively short time I’ve leant a lot.

But! there’s still A LOT of things I don’t know.

How sport works. 

How to organise excursions.

A hundred things I don’t even know exist yet…

But, over the last few months my staff room has had a half dozen practicum students.

And they’re surprised that I’m still a newbie.

For, on the outside, I appear throughly competent. 

And, in most jobs, this isn’t unusual.

You appear like you know what you’re doing.

Why?

Because you can do the basics.

You can execute everything expected. Most of the time.

But, you can’t yet do the unexpected.

You can’t navigate the incidentals.

You can’t pull off the tasks that only pop up occasionally. Or a few times per year.

You can’t navigate around the spaces that only come through experience and, occasionally, failure.

But, achieving that basic level of competency is something which should be celebrated. It is only after this point that you can then grow because you’re no longer expending all your energy in keeping your head above water.

It’s true in the school. True in the church. True in most occupations.

Being comfortable with uncertainty

We want answers. All of us.

Especially teens and young adults.

As they piece life and faith together, working out what they will stand for, it is inevitable that they will hit an intellectual wall.

Things won’t line up.

Previous pithy answers won’t satisfy anymore.

People they respect won’t agree with each other.

When this occurs, what happens next?

In short, they continue to search for answers. As they should.

They wrestle. They argue. They dig in. They Google.

But, for some things, the answer is not like cracking a difficult quadratic equation.

The solution will not be discovered by searching harder or learning more.

Instead, the “answer” is comfort in uncertainty.

With maturity comes a peace of not knowing.

Now, this is not a stick-your-head-in-the-sand ignorance, but it is a humble realisation.

You don’t know it all.

You don’t now.

You never will.

But, you can have peace and security in the middle of this uncertainty.

Why?

Because of what you can know.

You can grow in the knowledge and depth of the goodness, justice, mercy, grace, forgiveness and love of God.

This intimacy with the character of God will help you live with uncertainty.

For, what you don’t know, God knows.

What you don’t understand, God fully understands.

What confuses or frustrates you doesn’t worry God.

With this truth cemented in your mind, living in the midst of uncertainty isn’t as scary.

What makes the dancing stop?

 Last weekend the church I attended sang a song from at least a decade ago.

It was… underwhelming.

Now, there was nothing wrong with the song.

The music was performed more than adequately.

The singing was to the usual high standard.

But, compared to then energy the song used to generate, it was now just… meh.

A similar problem arises, I imagine, for a song like One Way, Jesus.

By now, the clapping is less energised.

The dancing is more subdued, maybe even ceased.

But, this transitioning of the way songs are sung gets me thinking about music from today and a generation (or more) ago.

Do we consider that, in time, the buzz around the most energised worship sin will eventually subside?

Equally, are we mindful that the dullest song from the hymn book - potentially - held a similar energetic vibe when it was sung for the first few times?

really, it all boils down to this…  after being played for over a decade, has a song lost the energy it had or is it just that those who grew up singing the tune lost their vibrancy?

Did the World Wars kick off the gender gap within the pews?

Over the last five weeks I’ve been teaching my year 9 history class about World War 1. As we conclude the unit we’ve been looking at the lasting consequences of the conflict and the impact upon those who returned and the fallout from the vacancies caused by those who never returned home.

Needless to say, the war was devastating.

World War 2 more so.

I wonder, in light of the detestation that was inflicted on a generation of men, how did this impact the church?

For, every church (which is old enough) has a plaque to two commemorating the names of the fallen from their congregation.

Is this, in reality, the pinpoint that the gender gap emerged within the church?

For, if a third of all me fell in combat, what legacy did this leave for the demographics within the pews?

Once children didn’t see as many males at church on a Sunday, at least across a generation or two, did this actually set in motion the trend for women to dominate the numbers within the church?

Does youth ministry feed the the gender imbalance or just prepare you for it?

I first entered a church youth group when I was 12.

Over the next six years the group changed a lot over the high school years.

It grew. It shrank.

By the end, I was the only guy left in a group of around eight.

Now, my home church did youth ministry in a slightly unique manner.

For us, each year group would meet separately on a different afternoon after school.

But, the dynamics of my group were not uncommon.

The majority of the groups were female heavy.

Generally, this was also reflected in the youth groups I led, especially over the senior high years. More girls. Less boys.

The gender statistics in the average church will be around 60:40 (women:men). So, for those who emerge from youth ministry, these female loaded demographics won’t be unfamiliar.

But, I wonder, does the male:female breakdown reflect the wider church OR is this where the gender imbalance germinates?

After a few generations of youth ministry, has the gender ratio of churches been cemented within youth ministries?

Or, does youth ministry just coincidental prepare those within it for the church dynamics which lay ahead?