Disconnect spiral

“I don’t feel cared for at church... but I only go once a month.”
“I don’t connect with anyone at church... but I’ve never allowed anyone to have a meaningful conversation with me.”
“I don’t feel like I know anyone at church... but anytime I’m invited to join a group at attend an event, I decline.”

If you work in ministry long enough you’ll probably be familiar with the above statements.

Or at least recognise the first half of the statements. And they are statements that keep you awake at night. People get stuck in the careless spiral.

They don’t feel a strong sense of belonging, so they attend less frequently.
Because they aren’t around as much, they feel disconnected.
Because they feel disconnected themselves, they don’t try connecting with others when they are at church.
And so the downward spiral continues until people drop off the radar.

The only solution I know?

Connecting into any community is a two-way effort. One cannot do all the heavy lifting. It is a partnership.
If you want to be connected, then look for people to connect with.
Accept opportunities to be involved.
Resist the urge to step back, instead, step forward.

Don’t let yourself get sucked into the spiral.