Saturday, April 3, 2010

Christianity killer 6

My final popular explanation for the resurrection of Jesus, aside from them actually happening as they are described in the gospels, is by far my favourite.

THE SWOON THEORY

The theory says that Jesus did not die upon the cross but just swooned (he fell unconscious), later woke in the tomb and escaped.

Now... let's think this through...

Jesus, after being beaten for a few hours and executed, somehow survives. In doing so he convincingly fools the guards who checked that he was deceased, those who prepared his body for burial and his disciples who mistook him as resurrected.

First, the Romans were proficient at executing people. When they tried to kill you, you died. At no other time has there been a case where execution was unsuccessful.

Second, those in the first century weren't idiots. They knew the difference between death and life. Breathing would be a pretty convincing clue!

Third, Jesus had to escape the tomb, even though it was blocked by a large stone and two guards. If Jesus channelled his inner John Rambo it would still be REALLY TOUGH to push a boulder when you're been beaten, nailed to a cross and speared in the side and then fight your way past Roman guards (who were fighting for their lives if he successfully got past them!).

Fourth, Jesus then had to convince his disciples and all the other witnesses to the "resurrected" Jesus that he wasn't a bloke who just scraped past death, but was in a risen body. If you're beaten to a pulp, groaning in agony and urgently requiring long term medical aid this will be a REALLY TOUGH sell.

Fifth, If Jesus did convince people he was alive, he then disappeared. It's a lot of effort to drift away into obscurity.

Finally, is this really plausible? I'm pretty sure "MythBusters" would chuckle and deal with this one fairly quickly.

Tomorrow I'll give the real, fundamental reason i think people reject the events of Easter...

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