Friday, June 12, 2009


Wanna feel tough? Kick in a door.

How do i know? Yep... this morning... i kicked in a door.

Why? Was i turned away from reading a water meter and i went all John Rambo on their fence? No. Did i get all Chuck Norris on a store that wasn't open when i came by? No.

The circumstances are much more domestic, for it was a door inside our own home.

Let me spin you a yarn...

Over the last few days the doorknob of the spare room has been detaching from the rest of the door. No problem. Usually, you just reattach it after voicing your disgust at the malfunction.

Not last night.

Last night the doorknob broke away from the door. "Argh" i exclaimed. But this time a piece of metal few from the door... a piece of metal that enables the doorknob to turn... and thus open. Important? You bet.

Why? This morning the door was closed and the door couldn't be opened.

The problem i faced? My work phone was on the other side of the door and i needed it to work.

The solution? Freak out.

Then, after determining that there was no other way to enter the room, kick the door in. Channel your inner Steven Segal-Jackie Chan-John Rambo-Chuck Norris-Bruce Lee-Jean Claude Van Damm and unleash a furious kick.

The result? One open door. In addition... One broken door frame and one broken light switch.

Now i strut around with the rest of the house quivering with fear. No lock will ever dare to get in the way of my work ever again. Why? Because I'm tough and can unleash the fury...

Actually, i wish i caught it on camera. I would send the footage into TV execs and surely land a part on Law and Order. I would bust down all kinds of doors on Law and Order: Obstacles Causing Inconvenience.

1 comment:

Claire said...

You should go on youtube and type in Dane Cook, B and E.
Seriously... I think you'll relate.