Remembering Dad

This is the eulogy I gave at my fathers funeral today...

When Mum, Jo and I met up with the assistant to the funeral director after Dad died I was given a list of things to say in a eulogy. On that list were details like date of birth, the date of passing, where Dad grew up and went to school, what his work history was and any historically significant events that Dad did while he was alive.

I'm not going to say any of those things. If you knew my Dad, and were around him for more than a few moments, you would probably be aware of many of the main incidents of his life. If nothing else, the guy knew how to talk.

Instead, I want to describe the kind of man my Dad was. I want to tell you what I would tell my kids. What kind of husband he was. What kind of father he was.

To start, Dad loved Mum and was dedicated to her for more than 30 years. (To Mum) He loved you. I know that on this day he would have wanted you to hear that. It's fitting that you were that last thing that he saw when he was alive.

As a family man he showed that he would support the decisions that you made. Even if they weren't the exact choices that he would make, or he didn't absolutely understand the conclusions that you came to, he would be there. He would back your judgement. He would drive you to rugby and watch every game, even of you weren't all that good. He would miss your only try in a dozen years playing rugby union because he was picking up your sister from gymnastics, trying to be in two places at the same time.

When i think of the kind of man my Dad was, one of the first words that spring to mind is friendly. He was the guy who would chew the ear off your mates. He was the guy who you would want to share a cubical with at work and would invite you to join him for a beer once you knocked off.

He was down to earth. For years, whenever my wife Ange came over, you would hear two things. First, my Mum would answer the door and say "Hello love," and then, Ange would meet my Dad, sitting on the couch, drinking a Diet Coke. Each time the same thing would happen. Ange would say hello to "Mr Baldock" and my Dad would reply "Call me Dave." That's the kind of guy my Dad was.

Since turning 18 I had the privilege to get to know my Dad beyond the role as my father. I'm at the age where you parents, seemingly overnight, get personalities and all these odd interests. Over the past decade I began to relate to Dad as a fellow adult, husband and potential father.

For my 21st, both Dad and I got the same gift from my mates. We both received a snooker cue. But the gift i actually got wasn't a piece of wood, but it was time with my Dad. Time to share a beer and beat him over a snooker table.

He loved sharing a beer and hearing how life was going. Delighting in your joys and helping you through the difficult times. In fact, that sums up the last meaningful conversation i had with Dad. Once Dad was told that Ange and a were having trouble conceiving, he gave me a call, and asked if i wanted to come up to the hospital and join him for an ale and a chat. When i asked him of that was allowed, he said it didn't matter... we should do it anyway.

Most of you would know that the last few months of Dad's life were pretty tough, but he always made the effort to be in high spirits. He would smile, flash that gap between his teeth and greet the grand-daughter that he was so proud of.

When describing my Dad to my kids, when telling them what he was like, the best i can do is say that i would be proud if they grew up to be just like him.

Random Graham

I previously mentioned a blog here which also has a post tiled "100 truths about me." I'm not inspired enough to write 100, but wanted to give you a greater insight into who I am and the list I came up with this morning was...

1. My first ever sermon was given at Katoomba Anglican Church. The passage was Hebrews 12:1-2. I had the entire sermon memorised.
2. My first pet, a bird named Sam, was found hung in his plastic ladder by my sister when she was around 10 years old. He is still buried in the back garden with the ladder around his neck.
3. I've owned three cars in my life. Cecil, Gerald and Big Red. Gerald was crap.
4. I've kept a daily diary for the last 14 years.
5. I chew quietly to myself when I sleep. I'm told, so does my sister. It must be a genetic thing...
6. My first kiss was in a park. Her name was Rachel.
7. My first kiss was my wife was on a dance floor. A seedy, seedy dance floor.
8. The place my parents got married is now a car park.
9. I went on schoolies three times.
10. I returned from my first schoolies with bright yellow hair.
11. Subsequently, I had bright yellow hair on my 18+ proof-of-age card.
12. My first cat never died. He just disappeared.
13. I used to wear one hard contact lens in my left eye.
14. I wore glasses in primary school. To help strengthen my lazy right eye I had a yellow smiley patch over my left. The look was not attractive.
15. I almost always cry when I watch Forrest Gump or the final episode of M.A.S.H.
16. I've kept all the letters my wife has ever written me in my bedside table.
17. I still have the sign in sheet from my first week at youth group. I was in year 6.
18. I once had the name Graham Baldcock on a boarding pass. When this is a rugby trip, the name sticks.
19. When I was a teenager I cut up a heap of my childhood photos to make a collage for Mum. I never did make the collage.
20. When I was a kid I slept with a seal.
21. I used to be deathly afraid of Freddy Kruger as a kid. I watched "Nightmare on Elm Street 3" at my sister's birthday party.
22. I can name every WWF/E champion from 1978 to approx 1999. I can also name every Wrestlemania main event for the first 20 years.
23. My Mum would stroke my nose to put me to sleep. It still works to this day.
24. My first job was working at a deli.
25. I had the name "weasel" on the back of my year 12 jersey.
26. I sing in the shower.
27. It annoys me that I can't pronounce my name.
28. When I cry at my child's birth it will be as much about become a father as it will be that my Dad won't be around to see it.
29. I flirted with the idea of getting tongue surgery to fix my speech impediment.
30. I only had one girl friend before dating my wife.
31. I used to steal cigarettes from Mum and Dad to smoke at the park in year 6.
32. I used to steal loose chance from Dad to buy micro machines.
33. My two favourite authors are Agatha Christie and Valerio Massimo Manfredi.
34. I have a chipped tooth. I chipped it biting into a chocolate freckle.
35. I can't ride a bicycle.
36. I couldn't swim confidently until I was 17.
37. I've read through the entire bible twice. The first time took me 1 year, 8 months, 10 days.
38. I've never been in a fight.
39. As a kid, I once put a knife into a toaster. There were sparks.
40. Years ago, I got a mobile phone from Dad when mine stopped working. It still has a video he took of my niece. You can hear my Dad's voice in the background. I miss his laugh.
41. My Dad and I both got snooker cues for my 21st. I beat him at snooker. Often.
42. I once broke a water pipe connected to someones water meter. I just kept walking.
43. I was paralysed for a short time when I was hit over the head with a pillow.
44. I've had my appendix removed. And three of my wisdom teeth.
45. I've never used a razor to shave my face.

Random Graham Revisited

Back in 2011 I did a blog post called Random Graham. It was a post about small somewhat-interesting tidbits about me. 

I found the post a stumbled over the post while looking for something else and, a decade-and-half later, I figured it was time for a revisit and - where needed - additions and amendments. The amendments will be in italics.

1. My first ever sermon was given at Katoomba Anglican Church. The passage was Hebrews 12:1-2. I had the entire sermon memorised. 
2. My first pet, a bird named Sam, was found hung in his plastic ladder by my sister when she was around 10 years old. He is still buried in the back garden with the ladder around his neck. 
3. I've owned three (now five) cars in my life. Cecil, Gerald and Big Red. Gerald was crap. My last car was named Speedy and my current car is named Ernie.
4. I've kept a daily diary for the last 14 years. (I actually gave this up a few years after this post. But, I’m still hoarding all my old diaries)
5. I chew quietly to myself when I sleep. I'm told, so does my sister. It must be a genetic thing... 
6. My first kiss was in a park. Her name was Rachel. 
7. My first kiss was my (ex)wife was on a dance floor. A seedy, seedy dance floor. 
8. The place my parents got married is now a car park. 
9. I went on schoolies three times. 
10. I returned from my first schoolies with bright yellow hair. 
11. Subsequently, I had bright yellow hair on my 18+ proof-of-age card. 
12. My first cat never died. He just disappeared. 
13. I used to wear one hard contact lens in my left eye. 
14. I wore glasses in primary school. To help strengthen my lazy right eye I had a yellow smiley patch over my left. The look was not attractive. 
15. I almost always cry when I watch Forrest Gump or the final episode of M.A.S.H. 
16. I've kept all the letters my (ex)wife has ever written me in my bedside table. I’ve still got a few of them, but I also keep every letter from my current wife.
17. I still have the sign in sheet from my first week at youth group. I was in year 6. 
18. I once had the name Graham Baldcock on a boarding pass. When this is a rugby trip, the name sticks. 
19. When I was a teenager I cut up a heap of my childhood photos to make a collage for Mum. I never did make the collage. 
20. When I was a kid I slept with a seal. 
21. I used to be deathly afraid of Freddy Kruger as a kid. I watched "Nightmare on Elm Street 3" at my sister's birthday party. 
22. I can name every WWF/E champion from 1978 to approx 1999. I can also name every Wrestlemania main event for the first 20 years. 
23. My Mum would stroke my nose to put me to sleep. It still works to this day. 
24. My first job was working at a deli. 
25. I had the name "weasel" on the back of my year 12 jersey. 
26. I sing in the shower. 
27. It annoys me that I can't pronounce my name. 
28. When I cry at my child's birth it will be as much about become a father as it will be that my Dad won't be around to see it. (Actually, it was more of a solitary tear, not a weepy flood.)
29. I flirted with the idea of getting tongue surgery to fix my speech impediment. 
30. I only had one girlfriend before dating my wife. 
31. I used to steal cigarettes from Mum and Dad to smoke at the park in year 6. 
32. I used to steal loose chance from Dad to buy micro machines. 
33. My two favourite authors are Agatha Christie and Valerio Massimo Manfredi. And Mary Beard.
34. I have a chipped tooth. I chipped it biting into a chocolate freckle. 
35. I can't ride a bicycle. (WRONG! I just can’t a bike confidently. Every holiday I’m dragged bike riding by my wife. I can do it just fine as long as the terrain is flat. I can’t really do the whole out-of-the-saddle-so-you-can-ride-up-a-hill thing.)
36. I couldn't swim confidently until I was 17. 
37. I've read through the entire bible twice. The first time took me 1 year, 8 months, 10 days. 
38. I've never been in a fight. 
39. As a kid, I once put a knife into a toaster. There were sparks. 
40. Years ago, I got a mobile phone from Dad when mine stopped working. It still has a video he took of my niece. You can hear my Dad's voice in the background. I miss his laugh. 
41. My Dad and I both got snooker cues for my 21st. I beat him at snooker. Often. (The snooker cues are now missing. That makes me a little sad)
42. I once broke a water pipe connected to someones water meter. I just kept walking. 
43. I was paralysed for a short time when I was hit over the head with a pillow. 
44. I've had my appendix removed. And three of my wisdom teeth. 
45. I've never used a razor to shave my face. (WRONG! This is now all I use. I converted from electric around 2016)

Now… some new random facts.

46. I used to carry in my wallet a small army figurine from my childhood. I found it when I was cleaning my bedroom while I was till living at home. He was the last survivor. I carried it around as a reminder that I’m a child of God. I had that in my wallet for around a decade before losing it.

47. I used to have the newspaper obituary from my dad. It was kept in a pile of papers stored at my mums. It got water damaged when her garage flooded and then fell apart. I wish I still had it.

48. I’ve been “learning” German on Duolingo for approximately 6 years. My current streak is 2321 days. Honestly, I’m still functionally illiterate, with my vocabulary far excelling my pronunciation or grammar. I suspect I’ll finish the entire German course by the middle of the year. I’ll then aim to do a course face-to-face.

49. The next language I want to learn is Latin. It must be the historian within me…

50. I’ve been doing the same bible reading regime (working through a book/segment of the bible my reading it and then studying/reading a number of commentaries) since 2022. To complete the entire bible will take me until the end of 2027.

51. I’ve now written over 2200 Tiny Bible Bits, touching on approximately 2500 bible passages.

52. Everyday at work I wear socks with some kind of animals or characters on them. I have students guess what they are when I need to “select a person at random”. Friday is always flamingos 🦩 

53. I start each school day by handwriting my timeline for the day on a notepad I bring with me to every class. Other teachers, rightly, make fun of this.

54. I’ve been landscaping the garden at my current home for the last 13 months. It won’t be complete until the middle of the year. 

55. I’ve mapped out my reading schedule (bible, theology, leadership, history, bible reading plans) until 2055.

56. According to the schedule, I should read over the entire bible (using various methods) in 2029, 2033, 2037, 2041, 2044, 2049 and cycle back to my current 6-year study plan in 2050.

Father-son bonding

Yesterday, being Fathers Day, i spent some quality unplanned time with my Pa.

On my way to work i had a flat tyre and together we changed the flat. For the first time in my life, and with my Father doing the majority of the work, the latest burden of Cecil's was amended.

The whole episode reminded me of the games of snooker my Dad and i used to have. On the back of receiving a pair of snooker cues for my 21st, beating my Dad at snooker became a routine i enjoyed thoroughly.

Firstly, i enjoy playing snooker. Secondly, beating Dad is always fun. Finally, hanging with Dad, is better then my first two points.

As a Father i want to have a similar relationship i have with my Dad with my kids. On Fathers Day (pretend i wrote this on Sunday) I'm not sure i could give a better compliment.

Sinking in

Over the last few days the reality of Dad dying has begun to kick in. I've started to go through the process and I've seen my Mum and sister begin to come to grips (kind of...) with what has happened.

It sinks in when you're having the promised Tooheys Old night that you would have once Dad passed away.

It sinks in when guys who are usually jerks to you pass on their heartfelt commiserations.

It sinks in when you find Dad's wedding ring at Mum's house.

It sinks in when you pick the color of the casket.

It sinks in when the funeral place chats to you about what you want Dad dressed in and if you want him to have a shave and a haircut.

It sinks in as you buy a black suit for the funeral.

It sinks in when you hear it announced in church.

It really sinks in when you read the obituary in the newspaper.

Tomorrow it continues to become a reality when my sister and i meet up to plan the eulogy that I'll be giving at the funeral the day after.

Father's Day lessons

If i were going to give a quick talk tonight at church...

This week i didn't get a Father's Day present. I didn't ask Mum what Dad needed/wanted, add the next instalment of his DVD series, or purchase golf paraphernalia.

This is my first Father's Day without my Dad. He lost his five year battle with cancer around seven months ago. Dad passed away as i was in the process of getting my current job.

Understandably, this Father's Day has been different.

But other events have influenced my perspective of Father's Day this year.

A fortnight before Dad died, my wife was told she was unable to conceive after we had been trying to fall pregnant for 6 months. Between the job prospect and the possibility that we couldn't have kids, this end-note can now make sense.

Fortunately, this storm cloud had a silver lining. We live in 2010 and my wife's condition isn't uncommon nor untreatable.

So, on fertility drugs, we kept trying.

And fell pregnant.

Then the day we were due to hear our babies heartbeat, we heard nothing but silence. This was my first up-front night at my new churches youth activities. Thus this post.

So, with that background... My lessons for Father's Day?

Fatherhood is a blessing. Having a father is a gift from God.

Fatherhood is a privilege, not a right. Being a father is a gift from God.

It's not always a good day

Mother' Day.
Father's Day.
Christmas.

Usually these are happy times.
Usually these are days to be celebrated.
Usually...

But Father's Day 2010 sucked. Big time.

Last Sunday, on Mother's Day, I shared my tale of Father's Day 2010.

That was my first Father's Day after my Dad died from cancer.
That was my first Father's Day after our first miscarriage.
It was the first Father's Day when I started to think I might never become a Dad.

For some people, times of celebration are painful.

Mum & Dad are not words associated with warm fuzzy emotions. Instead they are paired with bitterness, anger, abusive or absent.

Mother's Day and Father's Day remind them of what they've lost or what they will never posses.

Even Christmas, in 2010 -  barely a week after out second miscarriage (which occurred the due date of our first miscarriage), sucked.

On Sunday, I acknowledged that for some present and (even if they're unaware) someone they will know, Mother's Day will be a difficult time.

So we prayed.

And it was good. Really good.

Does it pass the Nan test?

I know more stories about Dad that i didn't mention in my eulogy. Heaps more. Others also have stories about Dad.

After the funeral i heard some of them and not all the tales would have been appropriate for public broadcast.

In fact, some of the stories i had about Dad wouldn't have passed the "Nan test."

Simply, my Nan was in the audience, so it was wise to keep it rated PG.

A similar thing happens when i preach. Some stories don't make the grade. Nor do some fitting movie scenes.

Why? They don't pass the Nan test.

A film, even if the specific scene may not be laced with violence or profanity, could (overall) send a message that your Nan wouldn't be okay with (the same can go for songs by various musicians).

A story, even through it may illustrate the point that you are making, could occur in a setting that is distracting.

Mail genius

This. Is. Genius.
If they gave out a Nobel Prize for youth ministry then this idea would win.

Having just started out at a new church, with a lot more kids than any of the previous churches I've been connected to, I've been regretting doing my first youth-ministry-wide mail out (I've expressed my love/hate relationship with mail outs before).

The idea I just read about will CHANGE THEM FOREVER.

The idea?
The time saver?

Get the kids to address multiple letters to their parent/guardians near the start of the year.

You take a few minutes and give each kid three envelopes. They then address the envelopes to whoever the parents/guardians are in their home. Mum and Dad. Mum and Geoff. Dad and Sue. Whoever.

Voila!

Instant outsourcing of the thing I despise most about doing beginning-of-the-school-term-mail-outs.

AND, the likelihood of having your mail opened is dramatically increased.

Genius I tell you...

Why you need leaders beyond their mid-twenties

Whilst I've written about the perceived expiry date of volunteer leaders, this must be balanced by the freedom that leaders don't have to leave unless they choose to.

This goes for youth ministers as well.
Arguably, even more so.

For, I've changed a lot since my early-twenties.

A decade ago, in many ways, I was still a meathead.

But over the last ten years I've got married, moved out of home, worked at four churches, been mid-term unemployed, done a job I didn't enjoy, started serious study, finished my degree, had four cars, my Dad had cancer, my Mum had a triple bypass, saw my Dad die, struggled to fall pregnant, endured two miscarriages and became a father.
I've been besides people when they've experienced the loss of a parent, suffered the disappointment of miscarriage, celebrated marriages, experienced breakups, become parents, lost jobs, failed university, turned their lives over to Christ and decided to walk away form the church.

I truth, I couldn't have handled a lot of these situations when I was 18. Or 20. Or 23.

This is why it's tragic when youth ministers or volunteer leaders stop to "step aside" or "get a real job" in their mid twenties due to "their time being over."

If every leader - volunteer or otherwise - steps down once they hit their mid-twenties, then youth groups loose a lot of life experience.

Youth group kids won't see healthy, long-term, marriages which have gone through anything but the honeymoon years.

Youth group kids will only have leaders who are university students and those in entry level positions at their jobs.

Youth group kids will only have examples who are also living at home and, also, trying to work out a clear picture of what their future looks like.

In short, while younger leaders can be incredible, those in youth groups will be weakened by just having a mono-generational leadership team above them.

And, when a crisis hits, those who are meant to support them during their season will be less equipped to help because they have less life experience behind them.

What if i had said yes?

Over the last few weeks "choose your own adventure" books have popped up in the conversation a couple of times.

The concept of the books is simple. You "participate in the story by making choices that affect the course of the narrative, which branches down various paths through the use of numbered paragraphs or pages." (Thanks Wikipedia!)

The concept has been bouncing around my head for the last week. Why? Because it is the third anniversary of "Why i said no."

In 2008 i declined a youth ministry position at a relatively strong and renowned church in Sydney. And i wonder what would have happened if i had accepted.

Sure, the reasons that i had (as you can read in the post) are as valid and correct today as every, but i still wonder...

Would i even have this blog? Since it came about from my time reading water meters.

How would the additional distance from my family have affected my Dad's passing? Since i was local, i was able to be with Dad in his final hours at home and at the hospital. My sister, who was only 30 minutes away (less time than i would have been in my alternate position), arrived at the hospital too late.

How would the distance from both our families have affected how my wife and i dealt with our two miscarriages from last year?

How would my ministry be different if i hadn't gone 8 months without a job and had a 9 month interim position before my current one?

I don't look back with regret, but I'm curious what the outcome would have been...

Chanelling Dad

Last night at church the spirit of my father inherited my person upon seeing a young chap the worst for wear after a night out.

In his voice... my Dad said... "If you're man enough to go out, then you're man enough to get up!"

The older i get, the more truth i sense in above statement.

Passing advice

Yesterday there was a funeral for one of the older gents at church. As i sat in the memorial service i thought back to Dad's service and what advice i would give when someone loses a family member or someone close to them.

Reflecting since February (when Dad died), i would say the following...

1 - Feel how you want to feel. If you want to cry. Do it. If you don't feel like you want to burst into a fit of weeping, that's okay too. Don't feel that you need to be a textbook example of the six stages of grief. This can go for other friends and family as well.

2 - Talk to people who care for you and it will be safe to feel however you feel.

3 - Stay close. Proximity and physical presence is important after a time of loss. Drop by other members of your family. Do it a lot. Just being there will help them and it will help you.

4 - It's alright to stop. The world will still function while you deal with your loss. It's okay to take a break from it all and do point #2 & 3.

5 - Avoid doing anything foolish, dangerous or life changing. Don't drive at 150km/hr, go on a three day bender, do drugs or commit arson. Don't quit your job, drop out of University or break up with your partner. Process what you have gone through before making changes.

6 - You will have immediate and later reminders. In the first week there will be a void. Even if it's trivial. You will notice and it's fine to be sad in these times.

But you will keep encountering reminders of the person whose died. You will find their wedding ring. You will hear their voice in the background of a video. You will see pictures of them. You're Niece will say his name and be able to point at him.

You will miss the person at these times too. That's okay.

Niece surprises

Today i saw my niece at Mum and Dad's, who were baby sitting.

There i feed my niece.

There i burped my niece.

There i changed the nappy of my niece (I'm such a SNAG!).

Most importantly, there i was thrown up on by my niece.

Guidelines for talking with friends dealing with cancer

Someone who I’m friends with on Facebook who has a lot of experience with this posted the following. As someone who has a husband dealing with cancer, it’s on point.

Guidelines for talking with friends dealing with cancer...

My list

1. Be prepared to listen to the detailed news and ask questions if you dont understand - this may be the person’s way of trying to understand themselves what is going on - by saying it out loud to you.

2. Change the scenery - if you can get out and go to a cafe Or go for a walk - do... if not, put on some nice music in the background - use your phone if necessary and get a nice flower - one will do... make your time for conversation pleasant. (Hospitals generally unintentionally suck)

3. Ask specifically... Can I get you something from the shop/pick up something from the pharmacy/fetch a glass of water? (Note - most people will not ask you to pay or anything, because they will be embarrassed, but remember that serious illness also hits the wallet hard... so they might not ask for something because they can no longer afford it)

4. Share a joke... dad jokes are great. Anything to bring on a smile.

5. Have a couple of photos to share... it is like an adventure for someone who is bed or housebound

6. Questions that show real interest include: what do you find most helpful?/ frustrating? / surprising? What do you miss most?

7. If they are sporty or musical, watch a game or a concert together... or a film

8. Understand if they are too tired to talk... sometimes they may just want to listen to you, sometimes they may want to sleep, sometimes the may need you tho stay, sometimes they may like you to just sit there

9. Remember the next-of-kin is going through this too. Just be nice. What they may need from you is simply half an hour Respite so they can get a coffee without feeling guilty... alternately they may be starved for company and conversation too

10. Deal with your grief and seek help elsewhere... don’t lay it on the person with cancer or their next of kin... go see the Chaplain. Have clean tissues in your pocket.

And finally - don’t just say you will pray... have a go... here is one for taking with you...

(To whoever you pray to... in my case, God)
Thanks for my friend....(name)
This sucks, but I ask for (name) to receive excellent care.
 I pray for relief from pain, frustration and symptoms. I pray for wisdom for those who are treating him/her.
I pray for the right support to appear when needed.
And, may our friendship be as true in the tough times as it has in the good ones. Amen.

Practice praying... we find it very helpful.

Moving folks

Over the weekend my parents moved into their new unit and out of the home i grew up in.

As a result, I've been put to work.

I've destroyed cupboards, inhaled decades of dust, filled skip bins, made innumerable trips the half block to the new residence and scrounged various items from my past.

AND...

I can see few permutations that would result in me ever reversing out of the driveway at my Mum and Dad's old home again. Never again will i curse that cars that make the departure a risky venture.

And this makes me kinda sad.

Actually, the whole process reminded me of leaving my original church.

As the days tick down, you do things for the final time and slowly watch as much of what was uniquely yours departs with you.

The part of the process that I'm dreading most is when the new people move in. What will they do to my old room? Will they renovate? Will they rebuild anew? Could i handle them tearing the house i grew up in down?

I dunno, but I'm pretty sure that will be a sad day as well...

Pleb advantages

Over the past few weeks I've started going to a small group at my new church.

Well... I've been once.

But I intended to be there regularly. Between Dad's death and funeral and various meetings (including one this week) I've been slack with my actual attendance matching my enthusiastic exclamation of "I'll be there for sure!" on Sunday nights.

Anyway... I enjoyed last week.

Especially since i wasn't leading.

I didn't have to answer questions if i didn't want to. I only had to speak if i actually had something to contribute. I wasn't the one asking the questions and steering the conversation, but the one being taken along for the journey.

It was nice being a pleb.

2008: A wasted year?

As i rumble towards 2009 I'm stuck wandering if this year was largely a waste.

If my aim was to be in youth ministry... it was.

I had my chance on the second day of the year, but i turned it down (man that seems a long time ago!). Since, I've missed out, or passed, on jobs at Pittwater, Manly, Belrose and Narrabeen.

Instead i occupied my self with the following...

As the ministry bandwagon was leaving i jumped on as a Challenge Camp team leader, preached four times and spoke at IMPACT...

Ange and i both got new jobs. I'm strutting about as a finely tuned water meter reader and Ange strolls down the corso to work...

We've flirted with leaving Balgowlah, but returned to the nest... I went to Norm Gibbon's and John Faulkner's funerals and the ENGAGE conference...

Sarah and the Gibson's departed...

I got my green P's, was recertified as a first aider, lost a mobile phone, finished my Period of Discernment, won text-2-win five times, packed Lifeline hampers and saw Manly win the premiership...

Cecil was out of action four times, i changed three tyres and got three parking fines...

Dad had more surgery, I lost my Grandfather and gained a niece (who i got to hold yesterday... so cute!)...

Did i mention i set up a blog???

A wasted year? Perhaps not a total waste.

The last song

A couple of times over the last few days i have heard the song that was playing at the end of my Dad's funeral.

It's not getting any less weird... or sad.

Lone trys, saving the game and 2-3

Today, as i go through my final day as a 26 year old, it occurred to me that i haven't played competitive sport for almost a decade (yes we did play ultimate frisbee, but at the level we played, we weren't exactly competitive).

As i reminisce about my sporting prowess three events pop to mind.

The first is my lone Rugby Union try. Yes, in playing for more than 10 years, and over 100 games, i only crossed the stripe once. It was in the under 9's (?) against Collaroy. We had never beaten them and had a quite a rivalry building up between the teams. On that fateful day we beat them and i scored the first try of the game. I would love to say that my effort was the stuff of legend and is talked about by elderly gentlemen over a beer at BBQ's. I would love to say that i ran the length of the field, or chipped and chased, or even side-stepped half the opposition side, but alas that's not the case. Instead, from a scrum, five meters out from their line, their fly-half dropped the ball and i picked it up and scampered a few meters to score.

The worst part? My Dad wasn't there to see it. I don't know where he was, or where he went, but he missed it.

My other two achievements come from my short lived cricket career. To be truthful, i wasn't all that great. Sure, i couldn't see the ball, but that just made batting all the more exciting.

I battered last and on one occasion, i saved the game. I had to face the final over and i held out. It was blocking and leaving the ball at it's finest.

Finally, i topped the stat sheet for bowling. Did i bowl often? No. Did i bowl more than once? No. Did i bowl for more than an over? No. But when i did, i got the figures of 2-3. Two wickets for only three runs.

And that's about it... Did we win premierships? Yep. Do i have a stack of trophies at home? Sure. Was i a major contributor? Not exactly.