The importance of professional compartmentalisation

We all have stress.

Interpersonal stress.

Mental stress.

Physical stress.

Stress at church.

Stress at home.

Stress at work.

Life begins to feel overwhelming when the stresses of life start to pile up upon each other.

Mental stress results in interrupted sleep and, thus, physical stress.

Stress at home blends into stress at work.

Stress at work blends outside of work hours.

What we need is a hearty dose of healthy compartmentalism.

We need to establish routines to box up our stresses so they don’t catch a ride into another part of our life.

This was the beauty of my previous jobs in retail and meter reading.

I carried nothing home.

No matter what was going on professionally, none of it had any serious ramifications for my personal life.

No matter how bad a day I had, by the time I made my way home, everything was out of my mind.

Of course, it helped immensely that my jobs weren’t overly important to me.

Retail wasn’t my profession.

Meter reading was only ever temporary.

But, ministry and teaching stresses are a different matter.

These ACTUALLY matter.

But, they are also 30 minutes from home.

They could be packed away on the drive home, ready to be reopened on the way back to work.

We need bumpers in our life to allow segmentation.

Maybe, for you, it is a drive home. It could be going to the gym. Perhaps it is walking the dog. It may be as simple as sitting in your car for a few minutes once you pull into your driveway. A mental unloading while riding the lift up to your apartment.

No matter how you achieve it, with healthy compartmentalisation, the bleeding of stresses can be somewhat stemmed.

While every element of your life will be inevitably connected, having the ability to shut off your vocational stresses, can be vital for your wellbeing and provide the adequate space required for you to then deal with the obstacles awaiting you on a Monday morning.

Do we partake in educational waterboarding?

56.

This is how many assessments tasks a junior student will approximately have over the academic year at the high school I teach in.

That is a lot. 

In fact, the number has been intentionally reduced due to the sheer quantity.

But, even if the number is knocked down to 40, this is still a lot of testing for a young teenager.

But, then again, we teach students a lot of content.

If you’re in year seven in New South Wales, for my teaching subjects, you’ll be taught six separate topics over 40 weeks.

My senior class covers ten lengthy topics across 7 school terms.

Again, this is a lot.

If you multiply these figures across all of the subjects that a student takes, then they get bombarded with content.

For some students, it’s manageable.

School works for them.

They thrive within the educational structures which we’ve developed over generations.

They excel within the pressure of study and examination.

But, other students struggle.

They struggle under the cognitive load.

They struggle under the stress of exams.

They struggle under the relentlessness of the school year.

In short, for some kids, school is just too much.

It can be torturous.

A continual flood of information and performance.

So, for these teens, we could compare the way we teach - or at least amount - as the equivalent of educational waterboarding.

We force too much information down their throats until they can’t handle the sheer volume.

And, then we continue the torrent.

For some kids, it’s all too much.

They are subjected to educational waterboarding.

I wonder what would happen if we found a productive way to lessen the load.

To reduce the stress.

The spread out the content.

To slow the torrent.

The trouble is, with the structures which are currently in place, our ability to now rewire the modern education systems is an uphill battle.

Meanwhile, far too many kids will still be drowning in schools…

Do you sit face-to-face or side-by-side with God? Does your gender help you choose?

How do you like to communicate?

If you’re sitting with someone, especially a friend, how do you sit?

Generally, women will sit opposite each other - face-to-face.

Men, alternately, tend to sit side-by-side.

As a result, women have and can discern stronger emotional connections while men have a more casual connection.

But, are these conversational dynamics reflected in our relationship with God?

Are they mirrored in the way we pray?

I recall an incident which reflected this when I was in senior high.

Back then, perfectly matching most church dynamics, I was the only male in a group mainly made up of females (I was outnumbered around 6:1).

For some reason we were discussing prayer and the mental images we get when we pray.

For most of the other members present, they pictured a majestic, transcendent, picture of throne rooms and grander.

I pictured sitting next to Jesus, on a balcony, having a beer. Far more incarnational.

My response was not appreciated.

Apparently, I wasn’t showing enough respect.

I was being too casual.

But, this image perfectly encapsulates male connection.

And, it baffled the ladies.

Why? Because I was valuing communication with God like a bloke.

They valued a more feminine communication style when it came to God.

So, does the way you prefer to communicate shape the way you also pray?

If you prefer action or problem solving - which tend to be more masculine traits - then your prayers will tend to be more detailed-oriented.

If you communicate in a more empathetic or nurturing manner, then your prayers will tend towards something more pastoral.

I wonder if churches take this into account when they consider who lead prayer in church.

You need to both relax in and fight for God’s sovereignty

R.G.I.C.

Relax, God’s in Charge.

This is something which I recited often as a young adult.

Jobs? R.G.I.C.

Dating? R.G.I.C.

Ministry? R.G.I.C.

But, I’ll admit now that I’m more grizzled, it can be tough to relax in God’s sovereignty.

Sometimes, you need to fight.

Trusting in God’s decision making and timing can be a wrestle.

It’s something which, over time, you learn is a part of discipleship.

But, you need to do both. 

Relax and fight.

Relax that God is in control. Not you.

Fight that you’ll continue to trust God. Not yourself.

This is the tension of God’s sovereignty.

A tension, like all of them, which needs to be continually balanced and recalibrated.

What are the dynamics of a small town church selection or transition?

Last week my wife and I were away on holidays and our accomodation was located near some local churches.

Catholic.

Uniting.

Independent.

All within a few blocks of one another.

Considering the size of the town, with around 4000 people, there were a surprising number of church choices.

Which got me wondering… What are the dynamic of choosing or changing churches in a small town?

When you first arrive, do you check out all the options over a month?

Do you freely announce that there’s a selection underway?

Does the church which “gets you” feel a sense of pride?

If you’re looking at transitioning to another church, is it a bigger deal?

If you have some kind of significant presence within your previous church - say you were a youth group leader, worship leader or a member of the church council - is you’re moving a significant ecclesiastical shift?

When you arrive at a new church, are you already somewhat known?

Does this add more pressure to a perspective church to “woo you”?

Do the reasons for you moving take on more weight, especially if it was an interpersonal issue?

If you’ve left under a cloud of (non-illegal) controversy, will your first Sunday in a new church come with public baggage?

In a large city, these issues just don’t really arise.

You can start with a clean slate.

You’re anonymous.

You get the freedom to drift in and “check the place out” without causing much of a stir.

In a small town, this may not be possible, especially if - like it always is - there’s a lot of cross-denominational networks.

Why I WANT my kids to go to church during January

6 weeks.

As a teacher, I often hear that I get to delight in 6 weeks of holidays over the Summer.

Of course, Summer still involves a stack of work during January (and there’s only five-and-a-half weeks this year!) and there are markers of a successful holiday.

Almost universally, churches will mirror the timelines of the school year.

Thus, there’s usually no youth ministry or dedicated ministry for young people on a Sunday morning during January.

Nonetheless, as my kids get older, I WANT them attending church during January.

Now, I realise that just over a year ago I wrote that parents shouldn’t feel too bad about skipping church over the Summer.

My reasoning, more or less, still stands. Parents should primarily disciple their kids. This is true in January. And June. And every other month.

But… the reasons to attend church over the Summer are powerful. Arguably, even more so over January than during the school term.

Over January, the adult relationships which are vital for young people to be connected and cared for are cultivated.

Over January, my kids get a greater experience of the church community.

Over January, my kids get a glimpse of “big church” so it’s not so foreign.

Over January, my kids get to see how I act in church.

Over January, my kids get to be closer to the community of faith - where faith, more often than not - is caught and not taught.

I’ll admit… I’m definitely thinking about my kids attending church during the school holidays more than they are.

In fact, I allow my offspring to be on electronic devices once the sermon kicks off (sue me!).

But, if church is as much about the community and support provided as it is about learning or academia, then putting my kids in the room of Christians is a good use of my time.

Could I teach at the same school as my own children?

As a teacher on school holidays I’m not thinking too much about school in 2026.

That can still wait a few more weeks since I’m not preparing any new content to deliver over the year ahead of me (at least not yet anyway!).

But, my mind has wandered to teaching my children.

Often, I’ll pass on little tidbits about my classes and, sometimes, they say that they’d enjoy having a teacher like me.

For example, I mentioned over dinner today a fun distraction tip for my eldest to make her English teacher’s head spin (the question you should pose is “Why is the sound that a dog makes different in a lot of languages? Shouldn’t they be all the same because they are describing the same sound?”).

But, it raises a good question… Could I teach in the same school as my kids?

Of course, unless I decide, it won’t happen.

The only realistic scenarios which would land me in that situation would be if I successfully applied for a job at their high school or they transferred into a school I was already working at.

And, outside of these, I’m not it a rural or specialist setting where it would be impossible to not teach my offspring.

Nonetheless, I pretty sure I wouldn’t benefit from the situation.

For, I admit, I’m weak.

As great as others may be able to handle sharing the same school as their kids, I don’t think it would do me (never mind my kids) any good.

I’d be too protective.

I’d be too nosy.

I’d be… if the situation warranted it… too harsh.

Despite any overriding sense of professionalism, my desire to parent would be too easily triggered.

Father would trump teacher.

Of course, I’d like to think that I’d be able to easily mark an essay from my child impartially, but the personal interactions of my child would be something which I’d have trouble containing.

If she was bullied, I’d want to go all protective Papa-bear.

If she was a bully, I’d be crushed.

If she was rude to a teacher, I’d be personally offended.

If she did a stupid-teen-action, which most teens inevitability do, I’d be overwhelmingly apologetic.

Have a mentioned that I’m a weird, popular, but oddball teacher? It may be better that parts of the student body don’t share my surname.

So, these - along with a bunch of other reasons that I’m probably unaware of - shouldn’t result in me sharing a workplace with one of my offspring.

Forgetting the details of my greatest miracle

I was blind. Then I wasn’t.

I’ve mentioned it a few times - when I got an eye injury and lost my vision for a few days in 2014 and now that my eyes are getting middle-aged in 2023.

In short, I had a degenerative corneal disease which, through a medical quirk/miracle, I was cured of once I was prevented from putting in the hard-contact lens which was managing my condition.

The irony, as I was young and overwhelmed in my first ministry position, was that I was desperately asking God for vision.

I wanted guidance for the ministry.

Instead, I got physical sight.

God must have a sense of humour.

So, since then, a sign of the working of God has never been further away than a clear view of the horizon.

Of course, now that my eyes are in their forties, this reminder is getting periodically more fuzzy.

But, you’d think I can remember all the details of the original event.

I was blind.

Legally.

Medically.

And then I could see.

Unexpectedly.

Unexplainably.

And remember… almost nothing.

Frankly, I’m not sure my story would hold up in court.

I would crumble under cross-examination.

For, there’s soo many things that I don’t remember.

How did I know I could see again?

Originally, I knew that my contact lens was effective because I could see the horizon. Did I have a similar experience?

Did I try and put in my contact lens once I was physically able again?

Did I even consider it?

When did I go to my local eye doctor?

When did I go to my cornea specialist?

What did I tell them?

What did they tell me?

How long did I keep my now-no-longer-needed contact lens?

Was I hesitant to toss it away?

Why didn’t I keep it as a reminder?

I wish I knew these answers.

I wish I knew how I felt when I first worked out I could see.

I wish I could recall telling people for the first time.

YOU’D THINK I’D REMEMBER!

But, alas, I don’t.

Over the last 18 years I’ve forgotten.

I’ve forgotten the details of the best thing God has ever done for me.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason I believe prayer works.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason why I think God blesses us in ways we don’t expect.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason why I think God is faithful.

Which in kinda sad.

But, it very much reflects the closest human relationships I have with my spiritual one - my marriage and fatherhood.

I don’t really recall many of the specific details of my wedding day.

Or either of my kids births.

Obviously, I was there.

Obviously, they were significant.

Obviously, I can tell you what happened.

Obviously, I retain detailed snippets.

But, the thing I hold onto is the ongoing result.

I hold onto the feelings.

I hold onto the lessons.

As time goes on, this is what stays with you, not necessarily the chronological order of events.

2025 Best of…

It’s 10:30pm New Year’s Eve.

I’m sitting on the couch.

My cat is asleep beside me.

My wife is asleep besides him.

2025 is really ending with a bang…

Over the past year I’ve guided my first senior class through the Studies of Religion course and… successfully adulted my way through another year.

From 2025, my most read blog post was Having a way to Tap into the Wealth of Knowledge in your Community, followed by If you’re the Leader, then you Must be Prepared to do this for Every Question you ask.

Other Ramblings of note this year…

The Overflow stays with them

The Two Questions which put Student’s Opinions into Perspective

What Preaching Taught me about Teaching

The “All Things” of Sex

My Mandatory Casual Teaching Hacks

How I Can Teach Other Religions and Why I Want to Teach Them Well

When You’re Unknowingly the Illustration

Why the Late Families Deserve Double the Praise

The REAL Purpose of High School

The Obstacles when You’re Not Acclimatised

Do we Consume the Bible like we do TikTok?

No, I will Not Pray FOR Charlie Kirk

How Should a Youth Group or Church Respond to a Tragic Event on the Other Side of the World?

The Message that Must Emerge from the Banter

Monachopsis: The Modern Church Problem

The Mindset to Help you Handle Rejection

Shouldn’t we just be Open about our Bedroom Intercession?

Why the Pulpit MUST Volunteer

Why Tinder Won’t find you what you’re Searching for

The Playbook for Finding a Long-Term Relationship

The playbook for finding a long-term relationship

In my last post I wrote that Tinder won’t find you love.

Tinder rewards attractiveness and attention. The relationships you admire are built on more than these.

So, what dating advice would I give to someone searching for a long-term relationship?

Date in an old-fashioned way.

Date based upon time, not swipes.

Date based upon character, not Instagramability.

Date based upon connection, not choice.

The way you do this is by, paradoxically, saying yes.

Putting yourself physically out there, not digitally.

Putting yourself in contact with a range of people - those you know, those who are known by others and those you’ve never met.

For, these are the contacts you need.

And start by saying yes.

Date a friend.

No really. 

Date someone you already know.

Take the risk.

Date someone who already knows your quirks and you know there’s.

Date someone who has already seen your character and you know there’s.

Date someone who you already have a foundation of friendship.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

This works best.

It has for generations. 

It still works now.

But, please don’t start by randomly kissing them as a TikTok challenge.

Change your mindset to seeing your male/female friends as a romantic potentials.

But, what if you a friend isn’t an option?

Ask your friends or close workmates to recommend someone.

I know… cringe.

But, if you’re wanting QUALITY recommendations, they will come from people know ACTUALLY know you, not an algorithm.

Again, these are people who know your quirks.

People who know your character.

People who know… you… by spending time and experiences with you.

And… if the point you towards someone… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

But, what if this isn’t an option?

Then branch out. 

Network.

Go to places where you bump into people.

Join clubs.

Join teams.

But… do so in places where you have things in common.

If you like running… join your local park run.

If you like netball… start playing mixed netball.

If you like (insert whatever)… find a place where you can physically meet people who share that interest.

You may get fortunate and meet someone who is also single. With something you have in common. That you can talk about. That you can share.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

NOTICE THE TREND!!!

When you go back and consider the relationships you most admire, this is how they started.

It has worked for generations.

It still works now.

Why Tinder won’t find you what you’re searching for

Modern dating sounds awful.

I’m immensely glad that I’ve never had to do it.

Of the many reasons, I would hate to be on the meat-market that is dating apps.

Frankly, I’m not attractive enough. 

On a good day, I’m a seven at best. Probably a six-and-a-half.

Maybe.

If the lighting is perfect.

But, the reason I shake my head at the Tinder interactions I overhear is that… it doesn’t work.

Not if you’re looking for something serious.

Not if you’re looking for something long-term.

Not if your primary concern is love or commitment.

Now, of course, there are success stories.

Although, I suspect, if you want something deeper than a fling, Tinder is the wrong place to look.

But, people on Tinder need to be honest about what they want.

Do they want something serious?

Do they want something long-term?

Do they want something … and this is the tricky question… which resembles the relationship/marriage that they admire the most?

If they do, dating apps isn’t the place they are likely to find it.

Why?

Because in any app where you swipe your way through a mass of potentials, only the foundation of the short-term are rewarded.

Attraction.

Attention.

This fuels hookups.

This feeds flings.

This gets swipes.

But they aren’t a foundation for serious relationships.

For, any relationship which you admire is based upon something different… they are based on character.

They are based on love.

They are based on service.

They are based on kindness.

They are based on forgiveness.

They are based on commitment.

They are based on respect.

They don’t revolve around attractiveness and attention.

But, this is what Tinder rewards.

And there’s a bunch of thing which Tinder fails to expose.

In fact, this is what short-term dating fails to reveal.

To get a genuine glimpse of someone’s character takes time.

You need to see how they treat the server.

You need to see how they respond while they wait in traffic.

You need to see how they handle adversity.

You need, frankly, the opportunity to see how they live life unfiltered.

Tinder doesn’t allow this.

Tinder certainly doesn’t reward this.

This, for a lot of people, means that they are searching in a place where they - in all likelihood - wont find what they’re looking for.

The great guy… doesn’t get past the filter of attractiveness and attention.

The quality lady… gets overlooked.

For, the reasons why they would make for a tremendous partner are unseen.

And yet… these are the very markers which punctuate the kind of relationships which people admire.

These are the things which permeate the relationships they aspire to have.

But, Tinder won’t show them to you.

So, if this is what you want, you need to fish somewhere else…

And probably start using better bait.

In my next post, I’ll give you dating advice I’d give someone wanting to find something meaningful.

The skill every teen must learn to be a productive adult

There are many things you need to learn at school.

There are some things you should learn by the time you leave school.

Some people think that school should teach you financial literacy - budgeting and paying taxes - or practical life skills like home/car maintenance or first aid.

One skill that needs to be developed by the time a youngster leaves the cocoon of high school is networking.

In order to be a productive adult, no matter what endeavours they are going into after high school, is the ability to strike up and hold a conversation.

This is THE ability which will serve them well and something a child struggles with.

For, a child is all about them.

Their needs.

Their wants.

Their interests.

Maturity is about learning to focus on others.

This, ideally, is the foundation of productive adulthood.

It is at the core of good citizenship.

It is at the core of quality friendship.

It is at the core of a valuable workmate.

It is at the core of fruitful relationships.

The ability to start and keep a conversation going sets you up for success.

This is why it is a skill which should be cultivated in the later years of high school.

Proficiency to converse opens doors and is a differentiator when selecting candidates for work or love.

Keeping the balance of ABOUT and OF the topic you’re interested in

Throughout the week I skim, scroll, read and listen to a bunch of things rotating around the things I’m interested in.

Theology.

Youth ministry.

Star Wars.

Wrestling.

A week ago I stumbled over this clip on YouTube concerning the Star Wars series The Acolyte and why it was ultimately a failure.

To sum up, in part, the show runner for the show - Leslye Headland - placed the blame on those who spent a lot of time dissected the show and the entire franchise.

And, there’s certainly no shortage of people who make a living, or at least have a platform, expressing their opinions about all things Star Wars. I listen to a few. I have my personal favourites. No doubt, there’s more bloggers, podcasters and Internet creepers than I’ll ever be able to keep track of.

There’s plenty of people yelling into the void of the internet.

Frankly, I’m doing the same thing right now.

But, one element of the response which Leslye Headland made caught my, and the podcasters, attention.

There’s a lot of people who talk ABOUT Star Wars then there is fresh content OF Star Wars.

The same is true of theology.

The same is true of youth ministry.

The same is true of wrestling.

The same is true of… almost everything.

We absorb more ABOUT a topic than we do OF the topic.

Every hour of televised wrestling will have dozens of hours dedicated towards it.

Every week in youth ministry, no matter how long you actually spend in the trenches, will be outmatched by the quantity of content you could consume.

No matter how long you read about theology, there will be more online for you to digest.

All of this is interesting, but not too concerning.

Until it comes to the bible.

This is when the balance of ABOUT and OF matters.

We can easily spend more time scrolling, skimming, reading and listening ABOUT the bible than actually reading the bible.

This is one of the challenges of modern Christianity.

Quantity over experience.

Surface over engagement.

Digital over analogue.

The concern is when what your absorbing ABOUT the bible overtakes what you get out OF the bible.

The importance of the Present-Continuum in the life of a Christian

I’m no linguist.

I’m certainly not an English scholar.

Truth be told, I had no idea what an article or a tense really were within language until I had to learn Koine Greek for my Theology Degree.

So, I have no real clue if the present continuum is an actual tense in any language, never mind biblical Greek.

That being said, the idea of the present continuum is essential to the Christian faith.

Why?

Because there’s so many elements that need to be both in the present AND in the continual.

Believe.

Repent.

Forgiveness.

Sanctification.

Being filled by the Holy Spirit.

All of these are things which occur at a moment in time.

But, they are also things which need to continue happening both now and into the future.

You had an initial moment of belief. But you must continue to believe.

You had an initial moment of repentance. But you must continue to repent.

You had an initial moment of forgiveness. But you must continue to forgive and be forgiven.

You had an initial moment when sanctification began. But you must continue to be sanctified.

You had an initial moment of the Holy Spirit filling you. But you must continue to be filled.

The Christian life is a journey within the present continuum.

Should you hope that your teens gets a crush on their youth minister?

Wayyyy back in 2008 I wrote (here) about those within a youth ministry having a crush on their youth minister.

As far as I know. It never happened with me. No young lass ever had a crush on me.

But, as I mentioned back in 2008, it makes sense.

Someone older, wiser and cooler invests time in your life.

That’s appealing when you’re a teen.

So, if you’re a parent of a teen, should you secretly hope that your offspring gets a slight crush for their youth leader?

Now, I’m aware that a) the question itself is kinda creepy and b) there have been far too many instances when this interaction has been manipulated and turns into something inappropriate. No one ever wants the second half of that sentence to play out.

 it, with those disclaimers out of the way…

If the youth minister of your church/one of the primary youth ministry leaders is a good role model, why wouldn’t you want them to be the kind of person your youngster may wish to romantically ponder about?

If teen crushes are all about discovering the types of things which you’ll find attractive - especially if those things are positive characteristics instead of just being a dreamboat - wouldn’t someone with a considered, confident, strong faith be something which you’d want your teen to be drawn towards?

On a far more pragmatic scale, wouldn’t a tiny, healthy, crush be useful in order to help inspire your teen to spring out of bed and want to attend church on a Sunday morning (which can be a struggle for a teen if there’s not some hormonally-driven motivation).

Again, I’m not hoping that any of my children will end up with the bloke who’s currently leading them in a bible study, but that they may find the type of qualities he has attractive surely isn’t the worst thing in the world…

Why the pulpit MUST volunteer

Now, obviously, those in positions of leadership can’t be a part of everything which happens within a church.

You can’t possibly be in two places at once.

Additionally, some ministries - by their very specifications - will be off-limits to an individual due to age or gender.

But, in the main, if someone at church is asking for volunteers then the person in vocational ministry should be putting their hand up.

Why?

Because it shows buy-in.

Sure, this volunteering may not result in the minister being involved full-time, but they should be willing to step up and fill a void in a useful ministry.

In doing so the request for others to be involved gets far easier.

But default, you’d hope that the ministry will have its profile raised due to the involvement of the minister. With their inclusion, the ministry should sneak its way into the mouth of the minister. It will become a sermon illustration. It will be mentioned in passing. It will be a blockage in the calendar which will need to be negotiated around.

This will raise the profile of the ministry.

Furthermore, the inclusion of the ministry agent will show support for the lay-person requesting help. The minister’s willingness to be involved communicates both value of the ministry and the leader of the ministry.

Finally, the inclusion of the minister greatly increases the effectiveness of the ask for help in the future.

As people hear more about the ministry from the pulpit…

As people sense the value the ministry has due to the minister’s investment…

Then a far more powerful ask can now be delivered…

Come and serve WITH ME.

This is a far more effective pitch.

But, this effective pitch in the future is only possible if the minister has the forethought to initially step up.

Are you looking FOR the answer or to BE the answer?

Christians believe that God answers prayer.

Otherwise, why bother?

When we pray, often we pray for God to answer our petition.

And He does.

He answers yes, no or wait.

We get what we want because they align with what God wants.

We get denied within the overarching sovereignty of God.

We get a delay due to the timing not being right.

But, maybe we should flip our request.

Instead of us focussing on our personal request, we should consider the other prayers within the situation.

For, other believers are also praying.

They are seeking answers.

They are seeking direction.

And, we may be the answer to that prayer.

If it’s a job interview, we may be the person they are praying for to hire.

If it’s a relationship, we may be the partner they have been waiting upon.

If it’s a sermon, we may deliver the words others need to hear.

If it’s a conversation, me may provide the comfort they desire.

Perhaps, instead of asking that our prayers are delivered upon, maybe we should realise that we can be the answer that others are seeking.

Shouldn’t we just be open about our bedroom intercession?

We pray they make time for each other…

We ask that they reconnect…

These types of prayers may be uttered when one spouse has been away from their partner for a prolonged period of time or if a couple his in the middle of a season of particular busyness in their workplaces.

And they are good prayers to make.

But, if we’re being honest, isn’t this sometimes just code for sex.

When they finally make time for each other…

When they reconnect…

They will, most likely, have sex.

And, within a marriage, there’s nothing wrong with that.

In fact, it’s perfectly healthy.

Expected even.

So, if you’re in a setting with a bunch of married couples, couldn’t we just say what we mean?

Of course, making time and reconnecting should involve a lot more than just sex. But… honestly, isn’t it a part of it?

Shouldn’t we openly pray for each others sex lives?

That they are satisfying.

That they are enjoyable.

That they are prioritised.

Now, this may look - practically - dramatically different once the bedroom door closes.

This has nothing at all to do with frequency.

Or kinks.

Or even orgasms.

But… if a bunch of married, mature, Christian’s are praying euphemisms anyway… isn’t it time we drop the facade?

Why it’s important to be mindful of what happened before church

Some days, it’s easy to get your kids to church.

They woke up on time. They had no disagreements. They want to go.

Other Sundays are a struggle.

A struggle to get out of bed. A struggle to get dressed. A struggle to have breakfast. Squabbling siblings. Attitude about attending. Bickering in the car.

I could make a similar equation for adults attending on a Sunday.

Some days, you’re energetic and enthusiastic.

Other days, you’re tired and genuinely considering not going.

Those in ministry must be aware that at any event, chances are, there will be attendees in both situations.

Keen and hesitant.

Energetic and lethargic.

Comfortable and nervous.

If those leading ministries are mindful of the various mindsets and circumstances of those who attend, then they will have more patient, understanding and appreciative for those who they get the privilege to serve.

Being alert to the next step in the last conversation

Developing a relationship takes time and effort.

Within an educational or pastoral setting, this relationship develops in snippets.

The main reason for this is that, while you may have many interactions with the youngster, they are fleeting and, at least in schools, in conflict with overriding curriculum pressures.

Nonetheless, you are able to develop a relationship with those in your care.

The simplest way to do this is to, obviously, share a conversation.

But, as I wrote above, time is in short supply.

Rarely will you have the chance to engage in a deep conversation.

But, just because the chronological conversation may be short, the interaction doesn’t need to be.

No matter if it is at a church youth group, on Sunday morning, in the classroom or in the playground, the ability to continue a conversation is vital in developing these important relationships.

At the core, the trick is to be mindful of the place you’re up to.

What was shared last?

Where may this lead?

How are you going to follow up from the last interaction?

What update are you going to pursue?

What event from the last week are you able to enquire about?

If you’re alert to the next step in the conversation, then you’ll be able to intentionally cultivate these relationships and show the teen that they personally matter to you.