The prayer circle countdown

If you’re a Christian then, chances are, you’ve been in the position I was in tonight.

It revolves around public prayer.

In a circle…

Taking turns…

You’re near the end…

And the countdown begins.

Topics.

Options.

Prayer points.

Counting down…

Person by person.

As the “In the Name of Jesus’” draws closer to you.

You hope you have something left.

You hope that some of your points remain.

You hope that your verbiage remains vacated from the mouths of others.

And, perhaps I shouldn’t be so insecure.

Or I should just be “led by the Spirit.”

But, there’s an element of public prayer that is… performative.

And no one wants to be left with nothing to share.

This is the stress of being at the tail-end of a prayer circle.

Or… maybe it’s just me who bears these spiritual anxieties…

The value of having church be the star of Sunday

Right now, at around 4:45pm on a Sunday afternoon, I’m doing nothing of note.

Neither is my wife.

Nor are the kids.

We aren’t lazy.

Just nothing is on.

Nothing has been planned.

There’s no birthday parties or sports events to attend.

The weather is also kinda miserable.

So we’re all inside. Doing nothing.

While we did things in the heat of the Sun yesterday, today is quite the opposite.

But, we did go to church this morning.

I lead the kids program. My wife was a rostered helper.

My youngest was with me while my eldest was in the teens program, apparently, doing something which involved shooting nerf bullets at people.

Frankly, church has been the highlight of the day.

Which, for a Sunday, should be the point.

Maybe, church should be the highlight of most Sabbaths.

Perhaps… and hear me out for a moment… that’s exactly the point!

But, in the modern world, we cram so much into the weekend that, now, church attendance can get obscured.

What should be the highlight of the weekend - or at least Sunday - now gets overwhelmed in the list of things to accomplish.

So, is intentional Sabbath inactivity a positive thing?

For some, it may sound like a nightmare.

Doing nothing.

Or at least nothing of consequence.

Reading a book.

Watching a movie.

Doing chores.

But, these mundane activities actually open the door for productive conversations on the Monday.

For, if you’re asked about what you did yesterday, now the plethora of noteworthy items is far lower.

“I just went to church” can be, legitimately, your response.

And, this can allow for further fruitful discussion.

Now, I’m not advocating that all Christians should be a hermit aside from church attendance. Not at all. 

Enjoy the outside.

Actually have a social life.

Do things of meaning.

Make memories.

But, on occasions, doing nothing isn’t the evil that it’s sometimes portrayed as.

In fact, it can be a positive thing.

Church starts at 9am. What time should a mature Christian arrive?

8:45.

At the latest.

Now, I know, stuff happens.

Kids are hard to organise.

Spouses can be hard to organise.

Yourself can be hard to organise.

Traffic happens.

Mishaps happen.

Nonetheless, you should aim to be on time for church.

Why?

Because it shows that you think that church is important.

Because it encourages those who are leading the service. (I can’t tell you how discouraging it is to begin a church service when there’s few people in attendance, yet they will trundle in during the first ten minutes)

Because it gives you a chance to welcome newcomers to church. (How discouraging must it be to turn up to a new church service and outnumber the regulars?)

Because it gives you a chance to welcome fellow congregants. (How discouraging is it to be in your own church and be on your lonesome)

Mature believers know that their role on a Sunday is beyond just consuming, but that their contributing ministry starts the moment they walk into church.

Arriving at 9:05 and leaving the minute the service concludes makes you a customer.

Mature believers know that more than that is expected.

The sneaky church creeper

The obvious disclaimer to attach to this headline is that this post has nothing to do with guys in trench-coats, windowless vans or anything which may result in you being interviewed by the police.

But, every Sunday… in all churches… there’s a church creeper.

Maybe it’s the person doing the notices.

Or about to deliver the bible reading.

Or saying a prayer.

All church services have creepers.

People who are, as inconspicuously as possible, slithering from their chair towards the front of the church.

Waiting.

Often crouching.

Ready to pounce once their element in the service is due.

I’ve been a creeper.

With good intentions I’ve crept towards the front of church in preparation for a seamless transition.

But, viewing a church creeper is ecclesiastical gold.

And, these creepers exist beyond those with upfront roles.

If you’re late? 

You creep in.

If you’re setting up morning tea?

You creep out.

The church service can be a hive of congregational creepers, scurrying amongst the pews.

Chances are, you’ll notice one out of the corner of your eye the next time you’re in church.

When do healing prayers transition?

I used to work for the denomination with, on average, the oldest church members anywhere in Australia.

Needless to say, some died.

Others got sick.

Old age, sickness and death are a chain of events all of us will encounter. It may be personally. It may be a family member. It may engulf acquaintances.

Nonetheless, as those around us creep into old age - if they are believers - should our prayers for them be adjusted?

Should we, if someone is advanced in age, always pray for healing?

Would that be the best thing for a centurion?

Should we, instead, pray for comfort?

Or peace?

Or preparedness?

For, inevitably, death will find all of us (unless Jesus returns earlier!).

Should our prayer for the elderly be different than, say, our prayers for a 40-year-old?

Of course, irrespective of age, everyone could use a prayer for comfort, peace and preparedness. But, in general, we desire to see the 40-year-old restored to health.

But what of someone who is 105 years old?

Maybe we should be as much - if not more - concerned with their preparedness to face Jesus. 

Hopefully, this will be one thing they are looking forward to.

Like meeting a friend.

For, at this moment, they will be healed. Fully restored. Without pain or discomfort.

The trouble is, I’m comfortable with the bedside prayer agenda being a balance of preparedness as it is healing for someone in old age.

100.

90.

80…

70?

Fewer years than that???

This is where the petition gets tricky.

Unless the prognosis is terminal, where is the balance between our thoughts being primarily about this life or more concerned about the afterlife?

When is it appropriate for the driving question of our pray to transition from “Are they getting better?” to “Are they dying well?”

Does your readiness to pray look more like a 40-year-old woman or a 17-year-old boy?

You need to be in the right mood…

With the temperature correct…

Without any distractions…

In comfy clothing…

With a pressing need…

Having just gone to the bathroom…

With your entire daily checklist complete…

In order to pray.

It can be amazing how many hoops we set up for ourselves in order to have “a good prayer session.”

Why, in short, do we think that our prayers need adequate foreplay?

In some ways our prayers can mirror the stereotypical middle-aged housewife’s sex life. Everything must be perfectly aligned or… it doesn’t happen.

But, what if they reflected the stereotypical 17-year-old boy’s sex drive?

What if our attitude to prayer was hair-triggered? 

What if we were good-to-go at the drop of a hat?

What if our prayers were spontaneous?

Always at the ready?

Of course, the analogy is crass, but the idea behind it - I think - accurately depicts they reality of Western Christianity.

We need to GET ready to pray.

We don’t start ready.

Do you sit face-to-face or side-by-side with God? Does your gender help you choose?

How do you like to communicate?

If you’re sitting with someone, especially a friend, how do you sit?

Generally, women will sit opposite each other - face-to-face.

Men, alternately, tend to sit side-by-side.

As a result, women have and can discern stronger emotional connections while men have a more casual connection.

But, are these conversational dynamics reflected in our relationship with God?

Are they mirrored in the way we pray?

I recall an incident which reflected this when I was in senior high.

Back then, perfectly matching most church dynamics, I was the only male in a group mainly made up of females (I was outnumbered around 6:1).

For some reason we were discussing prayer and the mental images we get when we pray.

For most of the other members present, they pictured a majestic, transcendent, picture of throne rooms and grander.

I pictured sitting next to Jesus, on a balcony, having a beer. Far more incarnational.

My response was not appreciated.

Apparently, I wasn’t showing enough respect.

I was being too casual.

But, this image perfectly encapsulates male connection.

And, it baffled the ladies.

Why? Because I was valuing communication with God like a bloke.

They valued a more feminine communication style when it came to God.

So, does the way you prefer to communicate shape the way you also pray?

If you prefer action or problem solving - which tend to be more masculine traits - then your prayers will tend to be more detailed-oriented.

If you communicate in a more empathetic or nurturing manner, then your prayers will tend towards something more pastoral.

I wonder if churches take this into account when they consider who lead prayer in church.

Are you looking FOR the answer or to BE the answer?

Christians believe that God answers prayer.

Otherwise, why bother?

When we pray, often we pray for God to answer our petition.

And He does.

He answers yes, no or wait.

We get what we want because they align with what God wants.

We get denied within the overarching sovereignty of God.

We get a delay due to the timing not being right.

But, maybe we should flip our request.

Instead of us focussing on our personal request, we should consider the other prayers within the situation.

For, other believers are also praying.

They are seeking answers.

They are seeking direction.

And, we may be the answer to that prayer.

If it’s a job interview, we may be the person they are praying for to hire.

If it’s a relationship, we may be the partner they have been waiting upon.

If it’s a sermon, we may deliver the words others need to hear.

If it’s a conversation, me may provide the comfort they desire.

Perhaps, instead of asking that our prayers are delivered upon, maybe we should realise that we can be the answer that others are seeking.

Shouldn’t we just be open about our bedroom intercession?

We pray they make time for each other…

We ask that they reconnect…

These types of prayers may be uttered when one spouse has been away from their partner for a prolonged period of time or if a couple his in the middle of a season of particular busyness in their workplaces.

And they are good prayers to make.

But, if we’re being honest, isn’t this sometimes just code for sex.

When they finally make time for each other…

When they reconnect…

They will, most likely, have sex.

And, within a marriage, there’s nothing wrong with that.

In fact, it’s perfectly healthy.

Expected even.

So, if you’re in a setting with a bunch of married couples, couldn’t we just say what we mean?

Of course, making time and reconnecting should involve a lot more than just sex. But… honestly, isn’t it a part of it?

Shouldn’t we openly pray for each others sex lives?

That they are satisfying.

That they are enjoyable.

That they are prioritised.

Now, this may look - practically - dramatically different once the bedroom door closes.

This has nothing at all to do with frequency.

Or kinks.

Or even orgasms.

But… if a bunch of married, mature, Christian’s are praying euphemisms anyway… isn’t it time we drop the facade?

Monachopsis: The modern church problem

I’ll admit, monachopsis isn’t a usual word.

Frankly, I’ve never used it before.

I only stumbled over it during the week.

But, I’ve sure felt it.

I assume that many others have felt it too.

Especially in the church.

I dare say that it’s a modern epidemic.

So, what does monachopsis mean?

The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

A feeling you don’t belong.

A nagging that you’re an imposter.

A niggling inclination that you’re a fake.

Does this sound like church for you?

Have you ever looked around the thought that everyone has it all together, except you?

That everyone has a place, except you?

That everyone belongs, but you’re on the outside?

If churches became more familiar with the term monachopsis, then they may intentionally seek to address it.

Often, churches will have a team of welcomers.

Someone to greet newcomers.

But, there maybe a far greater need for the church to deal with monachopsis for those who appear to be “inside”, when in fact, they are physically, emotionally or spiritually isolated.

No, I will not pray FOR Charlie Kirk

Now, I didn’t write this headline because I want to be ruthlessly cancelled by a pitch-fork wielding horde online.

Frankly, I have no strong opinions on Charlie Kirk personally.

Had I heard of him prior to his death? Absolutely. 

He would regularly appear in my social feeds.

Some… maybe even many… of the things he said I would softly agree with.

Other things I’d push back upon.

If nothing else, he was an excellent debater and engaged in public discourse.

Sometimes his message would be clouded by his selected medium.

But, no, I will not pray FOR Charlie Kirk.

I don’t care what any hashtag may want me to do.

I won’t pray for someone who is dead.

Why?

Because I wouldn’t know what to pray for.

I don’t need to intercede for the dead. There time is over.

I certainly don’t need those who have passed to intercede for me. Nothing and no one is required to link myself with God beyond Jesus.

But, I will pray ABOUT Charlie Kirk.

For his widow.

For his kids.

For those who witnessed his murder.

For America.

These are things to pray for.

For, Christianity is a religion of the living, not the deceased.

The thoughts which must be haunting a church visitor

At my school I am both the coordinator for incoming year 7’s and Peer Support. As such, I get the…. privilege… to see brand new high school students from their very first days.

For some kids, coming to high school isn’t too scary.

Of course, the campus is new and it’s full of large unfamiliar people, but there are some things which can soften the initial shock - friends and siblings.

Having an older sibling will allow a youngster to see a family member confidently negotiate the incoming change.

Having a social group (usually from their primary school) will allow a student familiar peers to face the new obstacles with.

Not every student have these softeners.

Every year contains students who are throughly on their lonesome.

Maybe you remember your first day at high school.

Frankly, I don’t remember mine. But, I certainly did have a day when I initially walked into my high school for the first time.

Do you recall your first day at church?

Again, I don’t recall mine. But I know it would have been when I was in, or around, year 7.

But, I have entered plenty of churches for the first time.

Sometimes it has been as a new employee.

Other times it has been as a potential congregant.

Certainly, no matter the reason, it has always been easier if there has been someone whom I already know or I am not entering by myself.

That’s why, I think the bravest church-seeker is the single young adult.

If they are searching for a new church, no matter if they are a believer or someone exploring Christianity, there is a decent chance that they are doing so alone.

This should make any single-twenty-something visitor to a church a minor miracle.

They are, potentially, stepping into a foreign space for the first time in many years.

They are, potentially, back into the shoes of themselves on day-one of high school.

And, again, already familiar relationships soften the landing in a new church.

But, if you’re a young adult who has moved into a new area, searching for a new faith community must be quite intimidating.

I wonder, if we remain mindful of our first day of high school, how would it affect the way we view and treat those who are visiting our places of worship for the first time?

The reverse prayer

Do you ever wonder what the other person is praying?

It’s not uncommon for a Christian to pray about a difficult personal situation at work, school, university or church.

Maybe there has been a misunderstanding.

Or a confrontation.

Or an impending confrontation.

Often, we pray for clarity or boldness.

But, do we ever consider that the other person on the other end of our prayer request may themselves be praying.

Praying for themselves.

Praying about the situation.

Praying about us.

What do you think they will be praying for?

Clarity?

Boldness?

Understanding?

If we stop to consider how the other person may be praying through the exact same situation which has brought us to prayer, then maybe the change of perspective will soften our hearts and transform our petitions.

The prayer you don’t have to pray but hear often

There is a prayer which I’m sure, if you’ve spent any significant amount of time around churches, that you’ve heard uttered before.

And, while it is said with the best of intentions, it is completely needless.

The prayer is for God to be present.

These words are not required.

Why?

Because God is present everywhere.

It goes along with the omniscience of God…

God, by His nature, is present. Everywhere. All the time.

What we should pray, and what I think is usually intended to be prayed, is the following… that we should be aware of the presence of God.

This is a POWERFUL prayer.

This is a TRANSFORMATIVE prayer.

This is a prayer which we NEED.

We need to be aware of God’s presence, allowing it to shape our actions, words, thoughts and worship.

Be it at the start of a church service, bible study, meeting, confrontation or any other occasion when we tend to invite Gods presence, praying for mindfulness of the reality of God’s presence will be far more useful.

Pushing beyond the comfortable response

We all have our comfortable answers.

It happens in the classroom.

It happens within churches.

Sometimes, the challenge required is to take someone beyond their comfort response.

To drag someone away from their area of expertise.

To invite someone to empathise with another whom they may not otherwise.

To draw someone to go beyond their pat answer.

One place where this can raise its head is prayer.

When we pray we can fall into common cliques.

We can drift into our comfortable areas.

The challenge of a leader/teacher, at times, is to ask for more.

To push for more.

To want more.

To be prepared to wait for more.

Otherwise, people will be content to remian in their comfort zone.

The prayer you never need to pray

“God, I pray that you will with us.”

You just wasted your breath.

By His very nature, God is everywhere.

Including your bible study.

Including your church service.

Including your “community building” activity.

God doesn’t require a formal invitation.

Instead, we should pray that we BE AWARE of Gods presence.

We should pray that we act like we are in Gods presence.

We should pray that our conversations are seasoned by an awareness of Gods presence.

We should pray that we worship in light of Gods presence.

But, we don’t need to invite God in. He is not a vampire.

Should parents fell bad about skipping church during the school holidays?

I’ve usually skipped church with my kids during the school holidays.

When I worked for a church, I usually expected the same.

So, should a parent feel guilty about their school-holiday endured absence?

Not according to the Tiny Bible Bit which I just wrote…

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

If you have a family with younger children, then there’s a decent chance that it’s been a few weeks since you’ve attended church.

It’s understandable.

Many churches shut down their Sunday morning children’s ministry activities while the school holidays are on (as they are in Australia, and will be for the rest of the month).

So, should churches fell like they are spiritually neglecting the youngest members of their flock?

Deuteronomy 6 doesn’t think so.

Why? 

Because the primary spiritual direction a child should receive (ideally) is within the home.

The parents should be living out their faith in front of their children.

The parents should be sharing the stories of faith with their children.

The parents, just through the regular processes of the day, should be intersecting life and spirituality often.

Of course, the children’s ministry of a church should play a significant role in helping nurture the fledgling spirituality of a child, but Deuteronomy 6 stresses that this should stretch far beyond a few hours on a Sunday.

Should we want to double-speed our faith?

Last Sunday I heard a sermon delivered via voiceover since the minister was ill.

Hearing a sermon isn’t unusual in the modern age.

We can hear sermons via podcasts while on commutes from anywhere across the globe.

But, almost without fail, whenever I hear a sermon online it will be sped up. Usually 1.5 speed.

It was unusual not being able to do that on Sunday.

Of course, I was in person so it was impossible, but the desire nonetheless remained.

In many ways, this is how a lot of modern spirituality is digested: sped up.

Sermons.

Prayers.

Readings.

Worship.

We tend to skim.

Or skip.

Or scan.

Or speed up.

Because now there is so much to consume.

Or it is a sign of familiarity.

Or, worse of all, laziness.

Perhaps, we need to make the difficult, counter-cultural, decision to slow down.

To not increase the speed.

To not increase the consumption.

In order to grow our faith in a healthy manner, we need to slow down, not speed up.

Shouldn’t our message be that we’re not jerks?

Churches want to be welcoming.

They want to be known for it.

They will advertise it.

They will preach about it.

They will plaster it on their church signage.

It may be directed at families, youth, LBGTQIA+, migrants, refugees, the poor, single mothers… any minority really.

We will welcome them all.

Some, especially so.

But, I wonder if this should be an intentional aim.

Is it needed?

Shouldn’t following Jesus, by definition, mean that you’re welcoming?

Shouldn’t this be a result of being a community shaped by the Kingdom of God?

Shouldn’t this be a consequence of having the Holy Spirit working within you?

Really, doesn’t the advertising just need to indicate that you’re … Christians?

Shouldn’t the message your church needs to hear from the pulpit be… don’t be a jerk to others?

What should I expect from non-Christians during times of extended prayer?

Christians do plenty of things which are weird. Especially at first.

One of the weirdest must be prayer.

To the unbeliever, it must be baffling.

Particularly times of extended prayer.

During church services, times of prayer can be politely endured. You only need to be silent for a few minutes.

But, how does a newbie feel about lengthy prayer in smaller groups?

10 minutes…

20 minutes…

Half an hour…

Within my small group, it’s not unusual for times of shared prayer to eclipse 30 minutes.

So… how would a fresh churchgoer feel about this?

Bored?

Amused?

Confused?

Could they remain civil like I was during multi-faith scripture services in schools?

Whenever I’m exposed to prayers of another faith I’m… unmoved.

I don’t feel any power nor significant presence.

So, should I expect anything different by those outside of the Christian faith?