Saturday, January 10, 2009

Channelling Gordon

Since i have the same personality type as Gordon Ramsey, i figured that i should use our compatibility to the best of my abilities.

Lets talk about the food at the Steyne...

Imagine... Gordon enters this fine eatery and orders a chicken schnitzel and a side of wedges. After a wait, his beeper goes off and he collects his food.

"F*&K me."

"The chicken is overcooked and dried. You can hardly cut the bloody thing! This is awful. This chef should be ashamed. And what is this crappy gravy? Blimey!"

Gordon chokes down as much of the distasteful chicken dish his gut can handle and then moves onto the potato wedges.

Surly they can't screw this up he thinks.

"F*&k me, they've done it again!"

"How can they cock this up? The potatoes must have been sitting on the shelf since 2004! I'm not sure there is enough tomato sauce on the planet to cover the taste of this disaster."

As the anger builds, he wishes he could go back to his schniddy.

"I've coughed up more appetising things then this. Whoever cooked this should chuck it in today and return their cooking licence. Serving this slop up at a place which serves booze is a recipe for mayhem."

As Gordon gets up to leave, his stomach hates him for the torture he has just put it through.

"I'll never eat here again," he think to himself. "Maybe i could bad mouth them on some kind of web-log."

Gordon stares over Manly beach and thinks... back to the RSL... at least they can do a good schnitzel there.

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