Saturday, September 24, 2016

The adult check-list

If they gave out licenses in order for someone to become an adult, what things would they need to be able to do in order to qualify?

I pondered this while performing one of the tasks which should be on that list.

I changed a tyre on my car. Three actually. As you can see here, it's not the first time.

But the ability to change a tyre is only at the start of the list.

Here's what I think you should be able to do in order to activate your adult-card... In no particular order...

  • Be able to change a tyre.
Truly, it's not that hard. Anytime someone calls the NRMA to change a flat the service-man should just laugh at them while performing the swap.
  • Be able to check and change the oil in your car.
The second lamest reason for your car to need assistance.
  • Be able to jump start a car.
Inevitably, you'll need to do this. Blowing off a hand whilst doing it would be unfortunate.
  • Be able to drive a manual.
You never know when that's the only kind of car that'll be available.

  • Be able to parallel park.
You should be able to park by the curb competently enough that a group of strangers or your family can watch without cringing.
  • Be able to cook in order to survive.
Trust me, living off food that other people had prepared, gets expensive real quick.
  • Be able to cook a roast dinner.
It's good to have a main meal up your sleeve.
  • Be able to cook a specialty meal.
How else do you really impress a date?
  • Be able to cook breakfast.
For the morning after you've really, REALLY, impressed a date/your spouse.
  • Be able to swim.
You just should be able to do more than just stay afloat.
  • Be able, and willing, to change a nappy.
Any nappy. One AND Twos. Not just your own kid. Without complaining.
  • Be able to do your taxes.
Whilst you might use an accountant, you're both capable to fill in the form yourself and have done so in the past.
  • Be able to change a light bulb.
See what I wrote earlier about changing a tire, change NRMA to handyman, and multiply that by a million.
  • Be able to change a tap washer.
See what I wrote about the oil in your car... Ditto.
  • Be able to iron clothes.
At minimum, you should be able to iron a business shirt.
  • Be able to sew on a button.
For when you notice it missing from your freshly-ironed shirt.
Bonus if you've got more than one knot in your arsenal.
  • Know what alcoholic drink you enjoy and how it's best served.
Of course, enjoyed responsibly.
  • Be able to make quality hot drinks.
Everyone loves the person who can make great coffee or brew a fine tea.
  • Be able to read a map and use a compass.
You never know when you'll need it. But, when you do, you'll be screwed if all you know is how to use GPS and there's no Internet.
  • Know first aid, especially CPR.
See what I wrote about a map and compass, now insert the element of potential-life-and-death.
  • Be able to build and start a fire.
Again, copy and paste from above. Bonus if you can start it without matches.
  • Know how to find or collect water if stranded.
Repeat from above - can you sense a trend?
  • Be able to kill a bug relatively fearlessly.
If you live in Australia, you've gotta know how to handle creepy crawlies. Especially huntsmen spiders.
  • Know how to form a good argument.
No matter where you are - work, home, the pub - this will be invaluable.

  • Know how to give a good speech.
This will put you ahead of a lot of people who hate public speaking.

    • Be albe to spell and use propa grammar.
    This will put you ahead of a lot of people, especially in a professional setting.
    If performing a good speech would put you ahead of others, this will advance you light-years.
    • Be able to tell a good story.
    The hidden secret of good communication.
    You'll always have a source of entertainment if you can draw a half dozen things decently.
    What do you protect, provide and stand for?

    In no way is this an exhaustive list, but I think it's a good start.

    Of the 31 points, I can do approximately 23 (you can speculate which ones I can't do).

    So, if you don't mind, I'll turn in my adult-card once I hit publish...

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