Where should the shame go?

I'm still a virgin...
I've never been drunk...
I've never done drugs...

If a Christian shares the above facts about their life then I can understand the usual reactions of surprise or pity from a non-believer.

But how should fellow believers react?
Do they always admire them?

Unfortunately, when such revelations are thrust into the spotlight, it's not uncommon for there to be two negative reactions...

Shame and pressure.

Pressure for the one who has not, say got drunk, to drink up and shame that the person has, so far, "missed out."

I think these reactions are absolute crap.

The idea that a Christian would try and make another stumble is deplorable.
The concept that someone should be made to feel bad because they have done, and are doing, what THEY SHOULD BE DOING is absurdly stupid.

The few answers I can give for these reactions are either ignorance, callousness or shame.

I suspect it is the latter.

When a person sees someone else, again using the example of drunkenness, "getting things right" then is exposes where they are "getting things wrong."

If virgins and those who abstain from sex and drugs cause shame it should be for those who know better and screw up anyway.