Should you lie to your parents to go to church?

My parents aren't followers of Jesus and, as far as I know, they have never seriously entered a church aside from funerals and weddings.

But my parents were always, at least externally, okay with me going to church and being involved in church activities.

Maybe they were just happy that I wasn't in a gang and hooked on drugs, or perhaps I got lucky.

But I know, and have witnessed, many families who are much more combustible when it comes to church attendance.

So... Should a teen lie to their parents about attending church? Should they say they are going to "hang at a friends house" when they are actually going to youth group?

I've had arguments about this topic before and understand that this is an issue with a LOT of grey.

But the first part of my response is easy. Don't lie. If you deceive your folks and they find out, you're busted and actually hurt both your chances to attend church in the future and the witness you will have before your parents.

My second response is more controversial. If parents,who are loving and should be looking out for what they feel is best for their kids, will not allow their child to attend church, then they shouldn't go.

I believe that this falls under the "honour your parents" guidelines which believers are instructed to follow.

As a youth minister, that answer can suck to hear. You want kids turning up, having fun and learning more about following God.

But, if we genuinely believe that parents are not the enemy, then (on this point) I think it is worth conceding.

I say this for a few reasons.

First, the discussion is worth having much, much more then maintaining an ongoing deception. If you are honest then you can find out why they are having reservations. Do they think Christians are all crazy brain washers? Do they have something from their past they is affecting their judgement? Are they just wary of new people taking an interest in their kid?

Once you are aware of their mindset then you open the possibility of moving productively forward. If it would help, they can have a chat to the youth leaders.

Second, there are plenty of other options aside from church in helping you grow in your faith. Go to the lunchtime group at school. Engage with the scripture lessons. Read your bible and pray alone or in a small group.

If you're not allowed to go to a weekly event, then perhaps you can negotiate a reasonable middle ground. Only go to youth group or the bigger events which are put on. Aim to attend camp, in place of the weekly meeting.

Either way, aim to live out your faith within your home regardless of their decision. Respect their decision.

Ultimately, one of the people you are trying to reach with your faith are your parents. It would be an incredible shame if the way you behave as a teenager sours your witness for decades to come.

As you get older, and your parents see you living out a Christian lifestyle, your parents might soften their stance (you can gently bring it again in six months) or, once you are able to transport yourself, you can take yourself to church.