Not a young man anymore

Last week it was my hamstrings...
Now it's my left ankle.

I'm currently in that very awkward phase of youth ministry where I'm in my early thirties.

I'm not young enough to be able to keep pace with an athletic teenage boy.

But I'm also, even delusionary, not old enough to decline whenever they throw down the gauntlet for a "race to be the first one back."

So I'm living in the midst of a battle between body and spirit.

And, as every day passes, the body reminds me that although the spirit might be willing, the flesh is getting weaker...

The female attraction

My parent's have never gone to church. Instead, my wanderings into a youth group started by following a girl (it's the start of my "boring" conversion story).

But that fact does have something to do with my following preference.

I would (inserting sweeping generalisations here) rather have a group of all teenage girls then guys.

The reason is fairly simple. Females attract blokes. Guys, generally, deter girls.

Given enough time, a gaggle of ladies will draw in teenage guys, especially if there's a rogue male who's attached to the group. Even if that guy isn't Casanova, then his mates will discover that he's connected to a bunch of the opposite gender and want in.

And whilst I enjoy playing rougher games with guys (one of my favourite afternoons ever comprised hours of two teams whacking a soft ball at each other with rolled-up newspaper), the type of activities which appeal to blokes will not keep females. Especially if she/they are outnumbered.

The best evangelistic strategy any youth group has is a welcoming community of young people whom share an active faith. No doubt.

But a healthy group of teenage girls is a close second.

When you MUST NOT write your own stuff

Earlier this month I wrote here that I write almost all my own curriculum.

Somewhere last week, now trapped in the Internet, I read an article stating the case for using packaged small group studies.

Whilst it made the predicable arguments about time management and critically tested material, I think there's a healthy middle ground.

There's a time when someone in ministry MUST use purchased/external resources.

Abuse.
Suicide.
Depression.
Cutting.
Eating Disorders.

No matter how long you've been in ministry, when it comes to the above topics, you are not the expert.

Unless you've done extensive research and worked as a counselor, hands on, then you are not an expert.

When it comes to professionally treated issues, no matter how well I know my kids, I'm not an expert and it is responsible for me to refer them onto others (thus the resource folder in my office).

If When we talk to our youth about troubling issues, then we MUST be humble enough to bow to the wisdom and expertise of others.

Why I won't flash the Greek

I'm currently learning biblical Greek for the second last subject of my Theology degree and I can assure you that there's one thing I won't be doing regularly.

Quoting Greek when I preach.

The reasons?

Primarily, flashing the Greek is often a veiled way to display the training the preacher has or the amount of preparation they've put in. Either way, it doesn't usually add to the sermon.

I say usually, because undoubtedly, sometimes it will make a difference. This just isn't as often as some ministers seem to mention it from the pulpit.

If anything, when I hear someone pontificating about the "original Greek" I tend to think of them as a wanker, not a scholar.

Second, and more importantly, I think a routine flash of Greek can sow more harm than good.

If the "professional" Christian must use subsequent texts or need a far higher level of training to decipher the message of the bible, then what message does that send to the congregation?
Will it breed assurance or uncertainty?
Will they trust in what they feel, a basic on-the-surface-level interpretation/application, is ACTUALLY the intended meaning or just another "misinterpretation" from the translators or "hidden nuance" of the language?

Finally, and more sceptically, if no one in the congregation is capable of reading or understanding Greek, then it provides no way for anyone to verify that what they're being told is accurate.

It would be reckless for me, having done a whole 12 WEEKS of Greek under my belt, to start quoting "original texts" when I could be, unknowingly, be leading others down a fruitless rabbit-trail.

If you're a Greek nerd, who can communicate APPLICABLE parts of the original language relevantly, then go ahead... Flash your Greek. But, for some ministers, they flash way more than what's needed.

Reasons to write your own stuff

There's A LOT of quality small group material out there in Internet land (Google just churned out 9.25 million results). I have brought some in the past and used it quite effectively.

At times, during a stressful season or time when you're on an extended leave, it makes more sense to use pre-produced material.

But, as timetabled here, I just finished writing the small group question for youth group this coming Friday.

And this raises a question eternally bantered about the youth ministry blogosphere by minds much wiser than mine.

Should you write your own small group/discussion questions/bible study material or curriculum?

On this point I'm not a zealot.
I usually produce my own, but haven't always.

The reason I tend to write our small group discussion questions has to do with the one who is speaking to the teens in my youth group.

Me.

I know, at least somewhat, what will be most effective thing for my teens to hear.
I know, by midweek, what I'm going to be saying on a Friday night.

Thus, I know exactly what direction the questions can flow OUT of the talk, not be hemmed in and need to cater a talk to fit INTO the discussion questions.

This just seems to make more sense.

And really, when you do it this way...

a) You can churn out a few weeks or a whole series of questions in a day (this is one of the reasons school holidays exist!),
so b) It doesn't take much monger than becoming familiar with the new material anyway.

Sing it ONLY if you mean it

You won't agree thoroughly with every word in every sermon.
You also, most likely, won't agree thoroughly with every syllable in a worship song.

Most times, if you're like me, you'll just let it slide.

But sometimes you can't.
And you shouldn't.

If you truly don't agree with the theology behind the lyrics of a song (this means they make you more than just a "little uncomfortable" and that you've seriously considered the topic) then you have every right to not sing that part of the song.

Further, this also applies to any words you don't understand and anything in a foreign language which you don't comprehend. Again, it's perfectly acceptable to remain silent when this occurs in church.

This has three immediate consequences.

First, we shouldn't be shocked when new people, especially those from outside the faith, don't sing (or do so hesitantly). We need to give them space to process the words and concepts before they embrace and participate with them in song.

Second, it then marks a step forward when someone DOES choose to sing for the first time.

And third, it raises the volume on what your church is saying through the songs it decides to sing. If people are passive during a song then it might indicate that the lyrics are off base or that the congregation needs to be taught in this area by the worship leader or preacher.

No one should do it all

This blog post might just cost me my current job.

If you take a close look at the weekly timetable from my last post you'll notice that I work with both children and teenagers. At times, I've taught both ages scripture classes and minister to both on a Friday and Sunday.

If I could wave my church-transforming-magic-wand then very few people would have a ministry position like mine.

Now, I must say, I enjoy my job highly and I do it fairly competently. Sometimes really well. Sometimes really... just okay.

I don't have my job because I'm one of the rare breed who can do it all.

AND, I'm aware that what I'm about to propose isn't a financial reality in many churches...

But, ideally, no one person should be in charge of the children's and youth ministry at a church.

Why?

In part it has to do with logistics and physics. You can't be in two places at once. Presently, I can't be involved in lunchtime groups at both a high school and a primary school at the same time. If nothing else, two separate people allow for greater opportunities to be involved and expansion to what is already happening.

Additionally, my focus, thoughts and time are divided between our children's and youth activities. This is especially true, if you're like many Australian churches, and your younger group precedes the older kids on a Friday afternoon/night. Neither group will have the absolute best of the "head" leader as they will either be drained from the kid's ministry, or have one eye upon the upcoming activity.

Furthermore, both ages present quite different needs and require alternate skills. It's unusual that you'll find someone who will be able to effectively cater to those aged 8-20.

A little known secret is that many in children's/youth ministry have a preference. One will be easier than the other. Ideas will flow quicker towards one demographic. Their God-given makeup will draw them naturally towards one.

Finally, for diversity, in an ideal world, these two people would be quite different people with opposite genders, thus exposing the young people to a wider style of leader and, critically, a female in leadership (for the reasons I outlined here and here).

How my week breaks down

I don't get asked how I spend my time as much as this guy but occasionally I am asked who I whittle away my week...


Monday - 1 Hour (excluding study)

Normally this is a day off, but currently is taken with study and then a Greek lecture for the second last subject of my Bachelor of Theology.
If I'm preaching on the Sunday, which I do fortnightly, I'll start looking at the passage.
One thing I have to do is the devotion for Tiny Bible Bits.

Tuesday - 4-6 Hours

This is the day I do some basic admin (emails/phone calls) and finishing touches for the week's primary school scripture lessons.
Create the week's to-do list.
If I'm preaching then I'll start the exegetical work this day.
Formally, the middle of this day was occupied with high school scripture lessons.
Occasionally I'll drop by the evening young adult small group/bible study.

Wednesday - 6-9 Hours

Kick off with two scripture lessons followed by a staff meeting.
Do basic admin and produce any promotional notes to be given out that week.
Organize the basic structure for the upcoming Friday, finding or reminding leaders what they will be responsible for.
Send electronic promotions for the youth group.
If not already done, write the talk for youth group and produce the small group questions.
Send small group questions to youth leaders.
If need, finish off the exegetical prep for Sunday.
Do the Tiny Bible Bit.
It won't be unusual to have a meeting (supervision, regional planning, peer support, church council) sometime this day/night.

Thursday - 6-9 Hours

Again, start with two scripture lessons.
Start to plan the scripture lessons for the following week.
Do basic admin including producing the run sheets and PowerPoint for the following day.
Write the Kid's Club talk for tomorrow.
Arrange Sunday morning helpers, activities and write "kid's talk."
By now, any impending sermon should have the outline set on stone and the manuscript drafted.

Friday - 10-13 Hours

Purchase the supper for the evening and anything needed for the day's activities.
Set up the church/hall for Kid's Club.
Do basic admin.
Lead Kid's Club, running an activity and giving the talk.
Set up for youth group.
Have Youth Group, usually giving the talk.
Do the Tiny Bible Bit.

Saturday - 0-2 Hours

Ideally, this is a day off but, depending how I feel about the sermon prep already done, I'll further work on the manuscript and PowerPoint.

Sunday - 10-13 Hours

Morning Church - Usually giving the kid's talk and running activities for the older kids.
Reconfigure the church for the evening service.
Reflect on Friday night, logging what happened and attendance.
Do the PowerPoint for the evening service.
Evening service, which I'll lead/preach.


I an ideal world, my week ranges from 37-53 hours per week.
This year, I've stretched from 29.5 (during school holidays) to 53.5 hours.

You may notice that I don't have any dedicated time set aside for long range projects. That was one thing I appreciated from the article I mentioned earlier. I just slot it in the to-do list and opportunistically see if I get around to it.

When our powers combine...

When our powers combine we are... slightly more efficient!
At least that is the plan.

Yesterday I had a chat to another local youth minister about combining our planning for the last two terms of 2014.

Normally I take my youth group leaders away twice a year in order to plan the next six months. In short, they are awesome.

But they are also expensive.

Too expensive.

For example, at the start of the year, I brought my leaders dinner at the pub, ice-creams/snacks on the way to the afternoon activity and, all up, the weekend ended up costing me a few hundred dollars more than everyone else.

One problem's that my leadership team is now JUST shy of the number needed to break even financially.

So, in a few months I need to expand the warm bodies who'll be in attendance. In theory, this will solve the financial issues.

BUT, the bonus flows from this post about sharing resources and ideas. If two youth groups can hear one another planning talks and activities then they can spitball ideas and, if the other group has done a similar topic, share what did and didn't work previously.

Easter Tiny Bible Bits 2014

Based around the six statements of Easter, this is what I wrote over the last few weeks on Tiny Bible Bits.

Matthew 21:8-9 – A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

The story of Easter can be summed up by a series of statements which I’ll be looking at over the next week-and-a-half. The cries of the crowd is the first one – Hosanna.

When Jesus enters Jerusalem, he rides in as a humble king; not on a chariot, but a donkey.

The crowds, in the capital for Passover, saw Jesus as a Messianic conqueror. In Jerusalem to remember God’s saving hand in Egypt, saw Jesus as the answer to the dilemma that was Caesar.

So they cry out for God to once again save them.

And He would.

He would bring salvation through the cross, not the sword.

He would bring peace between God and humanity, not the Jews and the authorities.

He would bring a lasting deliverance to all those who would place their trust in Him.

As we’ll see in a few days, the crowds quickly turn on Jesus.
One reason is that He wasn’t the kind of Messiah they were expecting.
Thankfully for them, and us, Jesus is the prefect saviour which we all need.

 

Matthew 22:21-23 – “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” asked the governor.

“Barabbas,” they answered.
“What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” Pilate asked. They all answered, “Crucify him!”
“Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!”

Surely we wouldn’t respond in a similar manner as those before Pilate. Surely.
Unless, if you’re anything like me, you dare to examine your thought life… Then, I suspect, that you put Jesus to death all too often.

When the Spirit of Christ convicts you of sin, you crucify its prompting.

When the Spirit of Christ reminders you to be involved positively in the lives of others, you ignore the suggestion.

In so many ways we, like those in the first century, decide that we don’t want Jesus, instead, desiring something else.

 

Matthew 27:46 – About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

Constant union.

Since time infinite this is what Jesus had, as a part of the Trinity, with The Father.

At Easter, that union was broken so we could be united with our Heavenly Father.

This is the good news of Good Friday.

Who are you going to bring to church at Easter to hear about it?

 

John 19:30 – When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

What is finished?

The mission of the Incarnate God.

Paying the wages of sin for humanity.
Separation between you and God.

This is why we can call Good Friday good.

 

Mark 15:39 – And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”

Did you go to church Easter weekend?
When you encountered the Easter story, how do you respond?

How did you respond to the God who would break into human history in order to live a perfect life and be unjustly put to death?

How did you respond to the God who would lay down His life in order to bring unity with His creation?

How did you respond to the God who is intimately familiar with grief, suffering, pain and sorrow?

Like the centurion, you stood before the Easter story, how did you respond?

 

Matthew 28:6 – He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

The truth of this verse should’ve been the core message of church on Easter Sunday.

The tomb was empty…

Jesus was raised…
Just as He said.

For some, once the benediction was given, Easter was over for another year.

But the gospel of the resurrected Jesus continues all year.

For this Sunday, and every day, we should celebrate that…

The tomb was empty…
Jesus was raised…
Just as He said.

Matthew 28:6 – He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

At the tomb the angels told the women to come and see.

Come and see the empty tomb.
Come and see the faithfulness of God.
Come and see where He lay.

On Easter Sunday many churches had a determined effort to invite others to church. On Easter Sunday we especially want our family and friends to hear about the Lord who conquered the grave.

This Sunday, like every Sunday, billions of Christians will once again come together to remember that Jesus is risen.

So this Sunday, even though it’s not Easter Sunday, who are you going to invite to “come and see?”

Are we worth half a million bucks?

I'm extremely grateful that I work for a church, full time, in youth ministry.
I'm grateful that I get to do something which I enjoy and find meaning in and I'm grateful because my family like to eat.

I don't know what the average full-time youth minister/pastor is paid per year. For the sake of this article I'm going to say $40,000 (that is about on par with what I found here and here).

With longevity being important and youth ministry being cyclic (getting in a new generation of kids every six years), I wonder, after a dozen years, does a church get a HALF A MILLION dollars worth?

Now, twelve years is a long time...
And spiritual (not to mention physical, emotional, relational, social, mental) transformation and development is impossible to measure...
And this can as easily apply to any ministry worker (children's, family, small groups, pastoral care, admin, associate, teaching, lead/head/senior minister)... 

BUT

If you went up to your average church and asked them to chip in $500,000 towards a ministry would they reconsider because the number is so substantially greater than 40K per year?

When weighed up against the way that large sum of money could be used, would they see it as a fair trade?

Additionally, if this money was viewed as a long-term investment not a rolling annual amount, would the evaluation of a ministries' effectiveness be different?

If nothing else, when such substantial numbers are thrown about, it should make those working in ministry sit back and consider the great, long-term, cost faithful people have made.

REPOST: Why do we call Good Friday Good?

A day when a completely good...
Absolutely innocent man...

Was betrayed by one of His closest friends...

Abandoned by all...

Endured a fixed court case...

With false witnesses...

With no presumption of innocence...

Held under the cover of darkness...

Prosecuted by the wrong person...

With no defense entered or allowed...

Was beaten...

Spat on...

Whipped...

Tortured...

Overlooked for a murderer...

Who heard those who previously cheered for Him now cry out for His execution...

Who had to personally transport His death implement...

Held to it by five inch long nails...

Stripped naked...

Mocked by those who passed by...

Insulted by those who orchestrated His murder and those who were being killed on either side of Him...

Who endured an excruciating ordeal...

Dying a death reserved for the lowest of low...

The worst of the worst...

A demise off limits to those in power...

A fate, in the eyes of the Jews, for those cursed by God...

Who, in His own words, was FORSAKEN BY GOD...

It was the ultimate injustice.

Before His own mother...

A son...

A friend...

A teacher...

The King...

The Messiah...

The Son of God... was killed.

The day the bread of life was broken and the blood of the Lamb split...

WHY DO WE CALL THIS DAY GOOD???

The only reason we dare label this day good is due to what it achieved. It tore down the division between God and humanity. 

The result of Jesus' death and resurrection is the reason we celebrate Easter and can call Good Friday good.

Losing the church in the "divorce"

Year 6...
Year 7...
Baptism/Confirmation...
Year 9-10...
Year 12...
First year university...
Getting married...
Once you become a parent...

I've written about the drop out points in youth and young(ish) adult ministry before.
Lots.

Some drop out point are caused by life change...
Ending primary school.
Starting high school.
Starting higher education.
You "graduate" from a group.
Moving out.
Starting a family.

Others develop relationally...
Your friendship group changes.
You get married.

In this later category, another reason can emerge.

Breaking up.

Whenever a church-going couple break up, it's not unusual for one side of the pairing to "get" the church in the ''division of assets."

For some, it will be that they attended the church for the least amount of time, thus they feel relationally squeezed out.
For others, it will be that they are "at fault" for the break up and will feel uncomfortable, even judged, at church.
In some rare cases, in order to allow one member of the former-couple to stay connected, the other will volunteer to step aside and go somewhere else.

This is the risk when two people date, no matter how well they swear to "purposely uncouple."

The six statements of Easter

Just like the entire bible can be summed up by five meals, the story of Easter can be summed up by six statements.

Hosanna!
Crucify Him!
My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
It is finished.
Surely this man was the Son of God!
He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Over the next week-and-a-half I'll be reflecting on each of them at Tiny Bible Bits. You can check it out here.

Restored perspective

This week the I was scheduled to speak at three primary school Easter scripture services.

 

I was only able to appear at two.

Yesterday it took me 2.5 hours to get to work.
Normally it takes 55 minutes.

As I was stuck in a massive traffic jam, eventually backtracking and AGAIN getting slammed by a plethora of cars, I started to stress.

As the minutes ticked away, the moments of the morning drifted past.

First, I was going to be late to setting up our church for the latter scripture service. Then I had to call my minister, who was helping me set up, and tell him that he would need to set up alone. 

After this, I started to scramble for the number of someone who might need to kill a few minutes if I was "very on time" to the first service. 

Finally, I had to admit defeat and arrange for someone else to fill in and speak at the service.

I was increasingly annoyed.

I promised the school and scripture teachers that I would speak...

I had a good talk planned...

It was a good opportunity at be "up front" at a school I'm on the fringe of...

I, potentially, put someone in a really difficult position by asking them to fill in at the last moment...

Then I heard that the delay was caused by a fatal car accident.

Someone died that morning.
Everything changed.

My problems weren't that important. 

Perspective was restored.

Ideas need microwaves and slow cookers

Some people have ideas. They see the vision before anyone else does. They are the innovators I spoke about here.

Others jump on board when they hear about the new idea.
They would be the early adopters.

Of theses, some are microwaves and some are slow cookers.

The microwaves will want action. Screw the procedures. They want to see tangible results. Immediately if possible.
The slow cookers will be just as committed as the microwaves, but will have the patience to see the entire project through.

Microwaves will often burn themselves out or get side-tracked when the next new initiative comes along.

For an idea to see the light of day, you need both microwaves and slow cookers.

Microwaves will provide the enthusiasm, energy and positivity to help sell the idea.
Slow cookers will be the ones who help the idea get past the difficult fall over moments.

The challenge is finding a healthy mix of both and managing their expectations.

The change equation

No matter if it is losing weight, learning a language, starting a new ministry or kicking a bad habit...

Identify + Desire + Envisage + Plan + Accountability = Change

See the need to change...
Want to change because it will take you to a better place...
See an anticipated destination...
Have a series of achievable steps towards change...
Be held responsible until you reach your goal...

When you have all these pieces then you have lasting change.

The munchkin drop-off point

I've written about drop out points in youth/young adult ministry previously. Currently, my wife and I are in the middle of the oldest, and previously unmentioned, one.

Having a young child.

This drop out (or as it has happened with us - drop off) point arises in a lot of churches with differently-focused evening and morning services. In fact, young families will inevitably face this problem if the service in the morning and evening don't both cater to families with babies or toddlers.

Why?

It all has to do with toddlers needing routine. Break the routine and it can throw out the rhythm of the next two days. For us, our little one's bedtime is somewhere between 6:30-7:15pm. My churches evening service starts at 6:30.

Sense the problem?

I would suggest that most evening services, at least initially, are catered towards teens or actual young adults. Thus, they aren't set up for young kids.

But, as the years pass and the "clientele" advance in life stages towards parenthood, some will notice that "their" service no longer suits their needs.

So, in order to fit around their offspring's sleep patterns, they need to attend church in the morning.

But what happens if they don't feel like they fit into the morning service since they've never made a cross-congregation connection or the earlier service isn't appropriate because it's "classic" church with a "quite mature" average attender?

Fortunately, this isn't a problem in many churches since they have some form of "contemporary family service." But this isn't always the case, particularly if a successful youth ministry starts in evening service BECAUSE they wouldn't fit into what is provided in the morning.

Does a young family screw up their child's sleep pattern weekly?Do they "suffer" through a morning service which they don't connect with?
Does only one parent attend church, alternating, whilst the other looks after the munchkin?
Or, do they go to another, family friendlier, church?

Share but don't return

Questions don't only make for good sermons but good church services. I start each service with a question and often throw one in the middle of the service somewhere. People, in a safe environment, usually have no problem sharing.

Normally, I'll prod people to talk to someone they don't share a surname or normally chat with (even if this involves moving!). In fact, a few people in church have set themselves a challenge to sit beside a different person each week at church.

One tricky thing I did in church a few weeks ago, as they were discussing with their neighbour, was to have the band immediately begin the next song.

The reason this was sneaky, tying into the sit-beside-a-different-person-challenge, was that it limited the opportunity for someone who moved to return to their original seat.

Who knows?
Sitting next to someone unfamiliar in church might be a good idea???

God is not deaf

I'm fully aware that praying out loud isn't comfortable for everyone, and is a learned discipline, but it's important for community building and burden sharing.

So anytime I'm leading a time of open prayer I give everyone an important reminder about God.

Even though they aren't praying to me, I still wanna hear and be able to honestly say amen. Thus, anyone who prays will need to speak up so I can hear, not because God is hard of hearing.