What do you do if your minister doesn’t like you?

Some ministers are delightful.
Others can be a little jaded, even if only periodically.
Most, hopefully, are somewhere in the middle of not closer to the former.

But, no matter the disposition of your minister, what do you do if they don’t like you?

Seriously.

No matter if it’s due to a personality clash, theological differences or birthed from an event/misunderstanding in the past, no congregant has the absolute right to be adored by their minister.

And, having a minister who isn’t besotted by you isn’t a crime on their part.

While your minister shouldn’t be a jerk to you, instead caring for you as a member of the flock God has placed them over to shepherd, you don’t have to be their favourite person.

So what do you do then?

In part, if they are not your primary pastoral support, you may not need to do anything dramatic. Just be peaceable. Better yet, support the minister and serve the church just as you would otherwise.

Additionally, you could use this as a goad to evaluate yourself. Maybe your minister is seeing things which you are blind to. Maybe this minister will be a catalyst for you to change.

Alternatively, you could just seek to outlast the minister. Don’t leave the church. Don’t undermine him. Instead, cut them some slack and beware that this person, probably, won’t be your minister forever.

Of course, you could seek to gently try to change their perception about you. It may not work, but you could intentionally seek to sow encouragement and support into the life of your distant minister. With the passing of time closeness may develop.

No matter what happens, the most important thing to remember is that the ministers’ view of you doesn’t give or take from you any validation. As a Christian we find our identity, worth, value and validation from Jesus. 

Not from anyone else. Including any minister you may encounter.