Could a church have a booty-call ministry?

Marriages need time to remain healthy.

Some of that time may result in… adult cuddles.

But, children will encroach on this time.

Obviously.

With this in mind, some churches are willing to provide babysitting so parents can periodically have a date night.

It’s a tremendous idea.

But, what if, instead of seeing a movie or going out for dinner, the parents used the time to… cuddle?

Spoken or unspoken, how would the church respond if this use of a “dating-window” emerged?

Should they be all for it?

Perhaps even encourage it?

Could it be an unofficial booty-call ministry?

I’ve never heard of this ministry actually occurring, but maybe that’s the point. 

You don’t ask. 

You just provide an opportunity…

If you’re passion for pro-life doesn’t align with your passion for pro-birth than your actually an a$$hole

Last week I was asked my opinion on abortion.

As I was walking out the door, I quickly mentioned that, as a contraceptive device, I’m against it.

Nothing too controversial there.

But, I could have gone further.

I could have elaborated on my answer.

I could have said that, with the plethora of better options, a pre planned abortion is a bad idea. It’s potentially harmful. It’s needlessly complicated. Depending on the wishes I’d both sexual parties, it can get immensely messy.

But, I suspect I was actually being asked if I was, as a concept, for or against abortion. 

Of course, the conversation couldn’t have occurred properly due to the mere seconds I had to respond. For example, there was no change to the abortion disclaimer.

If I did have a longer discussion, I’d raise two points.

First, I’d ask if someone’s start of life aligned with their definition of ending life.

Brain function? Heartbeat? Independent survival?

If these are your markers for continuing living, then how do these compare with your stance on abortion?

More so, if anyone is pro-life, no matter to what degree, it must be determined if they are actually pro-life or pro-birth.

In short, does someone’s stand on abortion align with their stance of what happens after birth?

Are they as strong an advocate for neonatal care? Or adoption services? Or postpartum care? Or early childcare? 

Do they give a single thought to what happens to the child and mother once the child is born?

If not, then the person isn’t pro-life. They are pro-birth.

They demand a birth, but not the systems to support the new life.

Frankly, this is the action of an uncaring jerk.

if you push for a child - no matter under what circumstances - to be born, then you absolutely must ensure that this life, and the mother, is provided for.

Squinting in the pulpit

I was blind. Legally. For almost a decade.

Then, in a quirk of irony, I could see.

Now, as I wade into my forties, my vision is starting to fail again.

I now use glasses to read screens and to drive at night.

It’s not an emergency, I’m just getting old.

But, I do wonder how it would have effected my preaching if I was still mounting the pulpit every fortnight.

In the classroom, I’m almost unaffected. 

Whilst I take my glasses to every lesson, I almost never need them during class. For some reason, during school hours, my vision is still capable for me to educate  the youth.

In fact, whenever a student spots me in the staff room with my glasses on, they are usually confused by my spectacles.

Nonetheless, if I was teaching a morning lesson or a night class, I’d be in the need of vision assistance.

And these are the timeframes when I’d be preaching in a church.

Of course, the answer is simple. 

I’d just wear my glasses.

I’d admit that I’m getting older and pop on my eyewear.

No. Big. Deal.

But, this change wouldn’t happen overnight.

It has taken me a few years to get used to wearing my glasses when required.

So, would I have adopted my glasses sooner once I noticed it affecting my preaching?

Or, would I have just enlarged the font on my notes?

Would I, inevitably, have been put in a position where I couldn’t actually comfortably read my notes?

If so, how would I have dealt with this catastrophe?

Would I let anyone know?

Would I just try and wing the sermon?

Now, on the other side of my declining eyesight, I’d have no qualms in wearing my glasses to preach or read the Bible.

But that one Sunday when I’d have failed due to blurry words would have left me pretty red-faced.

Someone must stay in the zone to take notes

Every so often, you aren’t in the zone to learn.

It may be as a student in a classroom.

Maybe as a member of a congregation in a church.

No matter, sometimes you can feel that you’re going to zone out.

When this happens, there’s a couple of options of what do do next.

The first is to fight the urge to tune out.

Be it through the use of caffeine, a rededication of focus or a firm shake of the head, you’ll do all that you can to stay attentive.

Frankly, this can just result in your energy, effort and attention being directed at preserving your state of mindfulness.

Alternatively, you can just be resigned to drifting off.

No matter if it is caused by fatigue from a restless night, tiredness from a prior session of intense focus or your mind wandering due to indifference, sometimes your brain just isn’t prepared to listen or absorb information.

Can there be a third course of action?

Partnership.

Develop a learning partnership which includes reciprocal note taking.

Develop a spiritual partnership with someone who will pay attention.

Occasionally, within this partnership, you’re able to tap out for this session. Your partner will then extensively record what was said and engage you with the content later.

They, for your inattentive session, will engage for you.

Just as you will do for them if called upon.

But, for all involved - the speaker, the attentive and inattentive.

It takes self awareness.

It takes honesty.

It takes responsibility.

It takes preparedness to do the same.

HYAnd it takes maturity.

The balance must go all the way

Referendums and theology can have multiple things in common.

We can wildly disagree about them.

We can get firmly entrenched in “our camp” of the issue.

We can be incredibly opinionated about them online.

And, sometimes, we say - even with the best of intentions - that things are going to be balanced when we discuss them.

The trouble is, no matter if the discussion is occurring amongst family or friends, or in private or civic settings, we often fail to be truely balanced.

Why? 

Because our good intentions often don’t cover over our personal feelings.

I’ve got no doubt that when I teach the studies of religion subject at my school next year, even unknowingly, I will not be giving a balanced view.

Not all the time.

Even accidentally.

The best way to measure if you’re being genuinely balanced in your discussion of a topic is the following: questions, praise and encouragement.

Are you posing an equal number of questions to either/all sides?

Are you directing the same amount of praise to all sides?

Do those, no matter where their opinion falls on the topic, leave with the same level of encouragement?

If you can’t honestly respond that everyone has received the same level of challenge and exhortation, then you had a discussion… but it wasn’t a genuinely balanced one.

The people who MUST lead a Sunday morning children’s ministry

In writing this, I do so as the following….

A parent of two school-aged children.

Someone who, unpaid, leads the children’s ministry program at my kids church.

Someone who, while employed, ran Sunday School/the kids/teens program on Sunday mornings for nearly a decade-and-a-half.

Someone who has always had the following nagging feeling.

And, I know what I write next won’t be popular.

Nonetheless…

No one should be paid to actively run activities/ministry on a Sunday morning for kids.

Now, this may be an idealistic pipe dream. 

A fantasy.

An ecclesiastical utopia. 

A declaration which rides in the face of decades of ministry.

An idea which shouts against the expectations of churches.

A challenge to those needing to justify their church pay-check.

But, it is my solid belief that the primary ministers and spiritual teachers/examples for children should be their parents. 

Sure, in rare cases children will arrive at church without a believing parent or guardian, but your atypical youngster will only darken the church doors with a churchgoing caretaker.

Thus, their spiritual instructions should fall primary upon their shoulders.

And this shouldn’t merely involve opening their wallets and paying for “a professional” to minister to their kids.

It should include, periodically, volunteering to be actively involved in the ministry to the youth.

I don’t expect that a parent will take on the primary burden every week or fortnight,but if a church has a dozen or more kids, then the parents should be willing to take it in turns to share the gospel.

Now, this will be controversial since some parents don’t especially like kids who aren’t their own.

Or don’t think that they’re very good at the “kids stuff.”

But, if you’re a parent, then you have a responsibility nonetheless.

While some in leadership on a Sunday will feel the need to justify their presence or employment, a youth/children’s minister can still be completely justified by having them resource, equip and train the parents on a Sunday morning. The paid staff will still run midweek and outreach activities. They can even retain giving the address in church before the congregation.

But, parents should bear the weight of spiritually educating their kids.

The parents should have a burden upon them to be caring adults in the lives of the youngsters at church. They should want to be a part of the new numbers which matter in church.

The parents should feel the responsibility to invest in the kids who share church with their progeny.

Even if they don’t feel a strong sense of call.

Or equiped.

Or capable.

If they feel ill-prepared, then they may want to reconsider their own Christian discipleship and consider it a warning bell to be ready to spiritually lead their offspring.

Keeping a spiritual progression log

Currently, for my electives history class, they end each lesson by updating a log of the progress on their individual research projects.

By the end of their assessment task, the students must also hand in their journal, documenting the thought processes they went through and the moments of advancement of their project.

While it would be good to see a sequential advancement, there is just as much to glean from a process which includes overcoming obstacles and diverting course.

Every Christian would benefit by keeping a similar document.

They track every lesson they learn.

They record every insight.

They chronicle every inch forward.

In this way, there would be much to glean over the years.

For those in ministry, there are duties which naturally enable their processes to be memorialised.

Sermons.

Bible studies.

Reports.

Personally, I’ve retained a few of these archiving devices.

This blog.

Tiny Bible Bits.

And, as I periodically stumble over what I’ve written over the past decade, I’m taken back to the place of these words.

I recall what inspired them.

I’m sometimes surprised by them.

But every post, every article, every thought-bubble is a marker of my process log.

Mine is just slightly more public than everyone else’s.

The three windows of inspiration

I haven’t delivered a sermon in years.

But, three times a week I write a short reflection about a bible passage on Facebook.

Every fortnight I deliver a short address to the church my kids attend.

On the same Sunday, I also lead activities for the infants/primary aged kids at church.

Almost without fail, my planning will fall within three windows of inspiration.

Almost immediate.

In the shower the night before.

On the drive to church.

These are the times when ideas initially germinate, get refined and, finally, become concrete.

But there is a negative to these final two windows.

When an idea immediately springs to mind, then you feel prepared. Even if you don’t stick with your initial thought, as least you have a launching point.

The later windows of inspiration leave you dangling.

But, as you get used to the way your mind processes ideas whilst periodically revisiting a passage, then you can suppress the anxiousness around an absence of inspiration.

Unless you need to explain to others midweek what your plans are for the weekend…

Then you can feel a little awkward, explaining that there are two windows of inspiration still to be navigated and your co-leader should just “trust you that it will all come together.”

Snapshots are nothing but

10 years old.

17 years old.

19 years old.

23 years old.

33 years old.

41 years old.

Just a regular shrimp of a kid, near the top of their year in maths, pretty average at playing rugby.

An uncommitted student who both attended youth group/church and went out with his nonChristian mates.

A going-nowhere slacker who worked in retail, but went out three nights a week.

A young youth minister, working in his home church part-time.

A married, new dad, full-time youth minister who appeared to have the perfect Christian life.

Divorced, remarried, father of two, teacher.

Each snapshot will reveal something different.

Each one is also me.

When we meet someone, all we initially get is a snapshot.

I just get a snapshot of the kids I teach.

You just get a snapshot of the person you start dating.

Churches just get a snapshot of anyone who visits.

And we can be quick to judge someone based upon that snapshot.

And, mostly, we would be wrong.

Or, at least, peaking through a tiny keyhole.

Only seeing a snapshot of the wider story.

The overlooked evangelistic strategy

Some churches, notoriously, start late.

Their 9:30 morning service starts at 9:30ish.

Their 6pm evening service actually kicks off at 6:10.

It’s a part of their culture.

They’re laidback.

Casual.

Easygoing.

But, as an evangelistic strategy, this sucks.

Why?

Because visitors don’t know about your lackadaisical routine.

They arrive on time.

And, alone.

And they awkwardly look around and see… almost no one.

To the shame of your church.

If you want to be harsh, the messages a tardy church sends is that church and (by default) God isn’t that important.

At least not enough to be on time.

But, fundamentally, the evangelistic weakness exposed has to do with displaying hospitality.

If a guest turned up to your house, and you weren’t ready, what message would you be sending?

If you hosted an event, and were unprepared, what would it say about you?

A near empty church, which fills up during the first song deserves a rebuke.

From the pulpit.

From the punctual.

From the visitors.

The trouble is, this third category probably won’t be back to tell them.

How do you announce the latest death?

People die. 

Obviously, this includes those who attend churches. They are not protected from the scourge of the Reaper.

But, I’m curious about the manner that churches announce a death of a congregant.

Church-wide email?

An announcement from the pulpit?

A message on the notice board?

But, these methods provoke further questions…

How “in” the church do you need to be before you receive an acknowledgment?

How old do you need to be?

Does it need to be an unexpected passing?

Do either of these last two questions even come into consideration?

Furthermore, if the announcement is only made via email or in person, these methods only reach those actively within the congregation.

What about lapsed members?

How about those whom have a historical legacy at the church but have moved on due to life-change?

A pain of leaving behind a faith-community which you’re connect with is, over time, you lose contact with your former church.

And thus, you will miss the deaths of people you knew.

You’ll miss the passing of those you looked up to.

You’ll miss the funerals of those who were your spiritual examples.

And, without some kind of death notice you can sign up to, it is inevitable as the years pass on…

Trimming down the 23K

23,145.

This is how many verses there are (depending on the version you’re using) in your bible.

As I slowly prepare to teach a new Studies of Religion subject at my school, I’ve started piecing together the essential elements for each of my topics.

One of my religious depth studies, alongside Islam and Buddhism, is Christianity.

In the cheat notes, which I’ll provide at the start of the subject, will be a through vocabulary and important verses/passages from their sacred texts.

Of the +23,000 options, I’ve had to nail it down to just the pearls of the bible.

And, it’s been a refreshing challenge.

I’ve had to discern the primary points of Christianity.

Love.

Grace.

Faith.

Forgiveness.

Christ.

And then, I had to find succinct verses to align with the core truths.

This exercise would be something which I believe most Christians would benefit from.

Because, how often are you challenged to distill your/orthodox beliefs down, ensuring that they are backed up by scripture?

God is now a lot more “willing” than in the past

James 4:14-15 - Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

This truth has been around for two Millenia, but it emerged as a life-verse over the last three years.

The reason is simple.

Lives were locked down.

Plans were cancelled.

Dreams were changed.

Everything went online. Quickly.

Now, everything is “God willing.”

The next season for a ministry.

The next sermon series.

The plans for next Sunday.

Everything is in the hands of God.

Now, post-Pandemic, more than ever in living memory.

Is this going to be the enduring spiritual legacy of COVID?

Is the uncertainty of the future the lesson we, as a church and community, needed to relearn?

When I was in ministry, I’m sure that I gave the “God willing” disclaimer for any plans I laid out.

Now, what was a back-of-the-mind mantra, has been thrust into the forefront of all our experiences.

The COVID pandemic reminded us all that James 4:14-15 is still very much truth.

I wonder how long it will take us until we return to our comfortable forward-planning?

Being rewarded for mining the untapped scriptures

I’ve read the book of Ezekiel in the past.

But, I remember nothing about it.

For me, it’s always been one of the overlooked sections of the scriptures.

It sat alongside Leviticus, Numbers, 1 & 2 Chronicles, Isaiah and Jeremiah.

I just don’t read these books in depth.

But, over the last ten weeks I’ve been studying Ezekiel.

And it’s been really good.

I’ve noticed things I’ve never seen before and understood things which have gone over my head previously.

This has been the refreshing thing over the last few months.

And, honestly, I didn’t expect that to be the case.

At the start of the year, knowing that Ezekiel was on the horizon, caused an inward groan.

But - having already been a Christian for over a quarter century - it’s nice to be reminded that there’s always new things to learn, new truths to find and refreshing scriptures to delve into.

The ministry of accepting the blessing

It is better to give than to receive.

A few weeks ago my wife and I got a new car.

The last time I purchased a car I got a trade in of my old one. 

I received a single dollar for my vehicle. And, I haggled then up to that price.

This time around, we didn’t bother with a trade in.

Financially, we didn’t need to.

Beyond that, we had bigger plans for our departing automobile; give the car away.

Over the last few days we did.

Without going into details, we found a couple in need and I had the thrill of offering them the car.

Frankly, it was as much a surprise to me as it was for them.

I had no idea, even ten minutes before I made the offer, that they were in need.

And, without consulting with my wife, I gave the car away.

But, the experience reminded me of this encounter back in 2009.

Just as I hesitated to accept praise 14 years ago, the recipient of the car - understandably - hesitated.

All I wanted him to do was to say yes.

Why?

Because, there is a gift in accepting the blessing of another.

There’s a ministry you can allow others to have by allowing them to exercise their calling.

Be it a physical gift.

Or an act of service.

Or a word of prayer.

Ministry is not a one-way transaction.

It needs to be received.

And, when it is, then the giver is blessed to see their blessing outworked in the life of another.

Being stuck with someone else’s words

There’s a major downside to using prepackaged material.

They aren’t your words.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever use them.

At times, you absolutely should consider using a purchased curriculum.

You’re short on time.

You’re not an expert on a topic.

But, you should never - ever - claim that what you are saying or using is a creation of your own.

The simple reason?

Someone else’s words will not be your own.

They won’t sound like you.

They may not connect as well with your context.

And, if you play them off as your own, then you’ll be stuck with them.

After all, it would be weird if you end up disagreeing or contradicting “yourself.”

And, when your stuck with other people’s words in your mouth, you don’t want to paint yourself into a theological corner or look like you have a theological multi-personality.

A good sermon doesn’t contain a swerve

Swerve – An unplanned or sudden change in the angle of a storyline; most commonly recognized by a wrestler turning on a friend of his.

Professional wrestling lives on swerves.

Good guys turning bad and bad guys shifting towards to side of truth and justice.

Swerves are fuelled by jealousy, revenge or principle.

The best swerves make sense.

They can either be seen coming or, if unexpected, can be adequately explained after the betrayal.

Sermons shouldn’t have swerves.

A good sermon shouldn’t have a Shyamalan-esque twist.

In fact, the best sermons are usually quite predictable.

They have a structure.

Each point builds upon others.

As a result, the listener should have a fair sense of the direction of the homily.

This happened to me on Sunday.

Fairly early on I gathered where the preacher was going.

Listening, I knew it was going to be headed in a good direction.

And it was a really great sermon.

For, a sermon isn’t quality because it is unpredictable.

It is quality because it points people to Jesus and what He has done.

It is quality because it is communicated well.

It is quality because it is applicable.

Unpredictability, usually, gets in the way of a good sermon.

The three statements my kids need to hear from me

The older my kids get the more my mind turns to the messages that they need to hear from me as their father.

In equal parts, these thoughts have been triggered by the subject selection discussions which have been occurring at my school the last few weeks, the one-on-one coaching sessions with a number of students about their plans in senior school and that my eldest on the verge of starting high school.

At the core, as my kids grow up, the most important things they’ll need to hear, as they enter teenage-hood and begin to identify who they are, what they’re good at and what they’ll stand for, are:

I love you…

You’re good at that…

I’m proud of you…

These three statements tie into these emerging identities.

The first, they need to hear because they are my children and I am their father. 

The second, they need to hear because they require affirmation of their strengths. And they need it often to help cancel out the opposite voices that come from within and from others.

The third, hopefully, they’ll deserve to hear because of the person they develop into into. Their character should make me proud.

How to navigate a tricky bible passage

2 Peter 3:16 - He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

The bible can be difficult to understand.

When referring to Paul’s letters, even Peter calls them hard to understand.

As I’m periodically working my way through books of the bible, I create a list of verses which are worth of a deeper look.

Currently, having just read the book of Ezekiel, I’ve got a list of 35 passages or verses which will get special focus as I now plough my way through a few commentaries on the book.

But, what should you do when you strike upon one of the more difficult verses from the scriptures?

How should you wrestle with a passage like 1 Timothy 2:15? (But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.)

Firstly, you treasure the words of 2 Peter 3 or Deuteronomy 29:29 - The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.

Some things about the bible, are hard. Or hidden.

Maybe we aren’t meant to know everything.

But, second, we should approach the Bible prayerfully. We should ask for illumination by the help of the Holy Spirit.

Third, we need to acknowledge that, while everything may not be shrouded in mystery, a neat answer may simply be beyond us. I’m prepared to admit that, at times, I won’t be able to work some things out. Maybe, I’m just too dense for some parts of the bible.

Fourth, thankfully, there are many people who are smarter and more learned than myself. They know the original languages. They know the historical and cultural context. They’ve sat under the wisest theological minds and biblical scholars. 

Even if I don’t know the answer to tricky biblical passages, others do. The answers are available.

So, fifth, we should search for the answers from respectable bible teachers. If there’s a general consensus - across denominational lines - then you’ve probably discovered your answer. Even if you don’t like it.

Sixth, if we don’t uncover a neat solution, then we may need to just accept that a simple answer isn’t forthcoming. 

We need to be prepared to admit this. 

We need to still wrestle with this.

We need to become comfortable in our unknowing.

For, seventh, not every bible verse holds salvation defining truths. 

Some passages aren’t as vital as others. 

And we don’t need to obsess over the periphery issues which emerge from them.

But, eighth, we can still strive to uncover the underlying larger principles which tricky bible passages teach about. 

And, ninth, we can seek for the ways which others believers, in the midst of their uncertainty, live with these difficult passages. For, our queries are not new nor unique. And, the difficult passages have existed alongside faithful believers for Millenia.

If you follow these steps, while the difficult passages won’t disappear, you’ll loose a lot less sleep over them.

The minister’s kid dilemma

I little while back I mentioned the pressure that minister spouses must face when it comes to their positioning during a church service.

But there’s a familial positioning which I’m glad I avoided.

My kids.

I never had to navigate the issue of my kids being in church with me.

Sure, my youngest was just a toddler while I was in ministry, but she was still a stumbling cutie. Her presence, even uninvited, was delightful.

She wasn’t a rebellious teen.

She wasn’t a stubborn tween.

And I wonder the pressure that ministers face when it comes to their children.

How do they weigh up the actions of their kids in light of 1 Timothy 3:12 - A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well.

When it comes to “managing their children” on a Sunday morning, how mindful is the minister of 1 Timothy 3:12?

Do they think that this verse will bounce around the minds of their congregation?

When rationalising with their kids about their proximity during the service or general behaviour, does this verse run through their mind?

Would they ever dare bring it up with their offspring?

There’s a lot of pressures when it comes to being in ministry.

I’m glad I avoided this one.