Friday, February 3, 2023

The new battleground for remaining “above reproach”

Now the overseer is to be above reproach… 1 Timothy 3:2a.


This is the aim.

No suspicions.

No avenues for gossip.

No hints of impropriety.


When I was a youth group leader in the early 2000’s, and we were weighing up how 1 Timothy 3:2 may apply to those in leadership within our ministry with teens, there was a contentious battleground.


Cars parked in front of houses overnight.

Especially that of the person you are dating.


Why?


Because, if someone recognises the car of your significant other, and the vehicle in question remains stationary from dusk to dawn… what do you think the conclusion is going to be?


You had a sleepover.

And we all know what that leads to…

S. E. X.

Especially of the premarital variety.


Of course, this isn’t a guarantee.

You can share a bed and not have intercourse.

You could be sleeping in separate rooms.

You could have gone to another location and responsibly carpooled.

You could… just not be having sex. Anything else, but sex. Scrabble for example.

But, you will leave yourself open to the accusation or assumption.


Now, I believe there is a new battleground for remaining “above reproach.”


Social media.


The imprint you leave can open the door to suspicion.

You’re both on holidays together… posting your pictures online.

You’re both geolocated together in the early hours of the mourning.

You’re both tagged together all weekend, clearly too far away to be staying back in your own beds.


It’s then very easy to connect the dots.

It’s easy to raise eyebrows.

It’s easy to wonder… what’s exactly going on with the sleeping arrangements.

And… you leave yourself open to the accusation and assumption.


But I suspect that this doesn’t slip into the thinking of many young youth group leaders.


Just as it didn’t trigger curb side alarm bells two decades ago.


In a context where sex should be spoken about and integrity matters - youth group - maybe this new 1 Timothy 3:2 battleground should be weighed up and discussed far more openly.

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