Thursday, February 25, 2016

Why I don't believe in "the one"

I own the complete box set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sure, it's currently unwatched and still in its original wrapping, but nonetheless, it's in our DVD collection.

In truth, of the seven seasons, the last one was the weakest. But it did utilize the idea of Potential Slayers - those who could potentially become the new Vampire Slayer if the predecessor dies.

Why do I bring this up?

Now, if you look at my little profile picture on the right-hand-side, you'll notice that I'm married. Obviously, I believe in love and making a commitment to someone.

But I don't think, in life and romance, there is "only one."

First of all, for most people, they're aware that they could have, in a sliding-doors type scenario, quite possibly ended up, and been happy, with a number of people (obviously not concurrently!). Sure, not everyone that you're potentially compatible with would (or should!) walk down the isle with you, but some would make a perfectly adequate coupling.

Second, I find the concept of the "the one" harmful in the way it applies pressure on...
Those looking for love - Will the next person be "the one?" or have I already missed them?
Couples whom start dating - Am I this person's "the one" and is this "the one" I've been waiting for?
Those in a damaging relationship - Can I separate myself from he/she whom I thought was "the one?"

Third, the idea of "only one" is insensitive to those who have, for whatever reason, lost their first "one love." Do we really want to tell widows/widowers, that they have no hope of finding true love again because their "one" has died?

Instead, I think that life, and God, offers you potential "ones." There are a number of people who we could, gladly, end up with.

For many, luckily, they have found one.

But, I'm not convinced that the world is directed like a cosmic version of snap, where ever other card is a mismatch.

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