Saturday, December 20, 2014

When you SHOULDN'T apologise

If you've been around churches long enough, eventually you'll hear about boundaries, primarily based around the book Boundaries and its offshoots.

Essentially, you need to be aware of where you, physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually stop and others begin.

In order to have healthy, safe relationships, boundaries need to be respected.

At times, in churches, we get this wrong.
At times, those who work in churches, get this wrong.

When this happens, we should apologize (like I did here).
We should apologise when the boundaries of others have felt trampled on, violated or ignored.

But there's one time, when dealing with boundaries, we shouldn't apologise.

When we assert our own.

When someone in ministry, in a gentle, caring way, asserts their personal boundaries in order to maintain healthy self care, relational or vocational boundaries, then the minister shouldn't apologise.

Ideally, you're only putting into practice the healthy lifestyle choices which you encourage others to do.

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