The birds go... and the bees go...

Over the last few days the issue of sex talks have come up (i don't remember how, but they have).

Personally, i don't ever remember getting "the sex talk." Does anyone?

Thank God for Happy Healthy Harold. Without his trusty Life Education Van we'd all be screwed (no pun intended...).

The blindness of Pride

At the moment I'm reading a book called Faking Church. In the book the author talks about the fable "The Emperor's New Clothes" by Hans Christian Andersen (you can read the story at http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/Emperors-New-Clothes.htm)

He makes the point that we are like the ministers in the story. We fear being labeled incompetent and incorrectly compare ourselves to one another.

Truth being told, this was me all too often in ministry. At times i was hounded by the fear of being caught out. Eventually, i was sure that the realisation would hit everyone that i was unfit for my position.

Furthermore, i was sure that everyone else in my position was doing fine.

Now I'm not looking for a pat on the back or fishing for compliments. I also know that I'm not the only one in ministry who has ever felt these feelings.

If i go back into church work, I'm pretty sure the feelings will return at times. But, luckily enough, God still uses those who can identify with characters in 150 year old stories...

Some things annoy

After going 26 and a half years without changing a tyre, I've now had to change two inside a week.

This is particularly annoying when the offending tyre is brand spanking new.

But nothing annoys more, or makes changing a tyre in a hot afternoon more infuriating, then having the song "Jesus is a Friend of Mine" rolling through your head.

To the singers of that song... Damn you. Damn you straight to the scrap heap of the Eurovision song contest.

The Christian Bubble

A few nights ago at small group we were discussing the Christian Bubble (where all you do is hang with believers, do Christian things, go to Christian places, say Christian things, buy Christian crap).

The conversation got me thinking about how it develops. I'm not convinced, moving from being a teenager to a young adult, that it can be completely avoided.

Naturally, as you get older, you choose the people you hang with more carefully. You can choose to not see the people from school/uni that you used to encounter each day. The randoms... gone. The people you don't get along with... gone. The people you're not overly close to... gone.

Over time, as you choose to draw particularly close to fewer people, will the Christian bubble develop? Perhaps.

You will have the most important thing in your life in common. If you go to the same church, you will see each other twice a week anyway.

Personally, I'm not a huge apologist for the bubble, but i understand how it happens.

Mmmm Beer

Lately I've been thinking about beer and making the switch to light.

This came up because of why i choose beer as a drink. Is it because of the flavour, or the alcohol?

If it is because of the flavour, then light beer isn't going to be an issue. If it is because of the booze, then as a professing follower of Jesus, then i should re-evaluate.

The results? Pass me the mid strength...

Jesus... Save me from THESE followers

Normally i don't put random things on here that I've encountered over the web, but sometimes you find things that are too good to pass over.

There's no wonder the world thinks we're a bunch of freaks!

http://www.glumbert.com/media/jesusismyfriend

How i've missed meetings

Tonight, this post is for Liam...

Tonight i had a Challenge Camp Team Leaders meeting which was really good.

All up this was probably only my fifth meeting this year (or thereabout) and, compared to previous years, is a drop of about 40.

Thinking about this, I've discovered my rekindled passion for meetings. Whilst in ministry, meetings were sometimes the thorn in my side, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whilst thrashing out vision, spit balling ideas and delegating solutions, what more could you ask for?

A meeting where you go, contribute and walk out with a still vacant to-do list...

Haircuts

Today i got my haircut and the experience got me thinking (as everything seems to now-days).

As a guy, when i walk into anywhere to get a snip, that's the only think that I'm there for. No talk, all haircut.

I think it comes from the place i got my haircut as a kid. The barber was a smelly guy who would silently cut your hair, steer your head with the palm of his hand and eventually pay you off with a lollipop.

This created some things to look forward to.... The days the other guy would cut your hair (Mario, not Luigi). The first time you get to actually sit in the chair, not on an uncomfortable plank of wood across the hand rests. Finally, no matter how old you were, still getting the lollipop.

Ah... great memories from Romeo's barber...

Mood swings

Toady, after being cautious for the last 10 weeks to avoid a parking fine at work, i got one on the first day of my holidays. Not so strangely, this soured my mood considerably.

I was at my parents place to do my quarterly car clean out. In the process of doing so i found a shoe horn (probably saying something about how infrequently and poorly i have cleaned my vehicle previously). With this hidden gem in my possession my mood became much more peachy.

If the shoe horn is valued at $81 i will come out even.

Father-son bonding

Yesterday, being Fathers Day, i spent some quality unplanned time with my Pa.

On my way to work i had a flat tyre and together we changed the flat. For the first time in my life, and with my Father doing the majority of the work, the latest burden of Cecil's was amended.

The whole episode reminded me of the games of snooker my Dad and i used to have. On the back of receiving a pair of snooker cues for my 21st, beating my Dad at snooker became a routine i enjoyed thoroughly.

Firstly, i enjoy playing snooker. Secondly, beating Dad is always fun. Finally, hanging with Dad, is better then my first two points.

As a Father i want to have a similar relationship i have with my Dad with my kids. On Fathers Day (pretend i wrote this on Sunday) I'm not sure i could give a better compliment.

Freak

Yesterday at Mosman i saw the unthinkable. A woman was walking a cat. Yes, a cat! Leash and all.

Now the cat was understandably looking less than impressed by the entire experience and it has since prompted me to make the following community service announcement...

If you walk your cat, like you would a dog, stop. Immediately. Instead, invest the time you spend tormenting your cat in getting a life.

If you know someone who indulges in the practice of walking their cat, call the RSPCA and have them locked up for animal cruelty. In the mean time, while waiting for the crew of RSPCA Animal Rescue to arrive, stretch (I don't want you to strain something in the process of performing a community service) and then unleash a slap upon the freak. From the depths of your very being, slap the cat walking fool.

Then do it again.

They deserve it.

If Darwin was correct, and natural selection is alive and well, then the people who walk their pet cats should be the first ones to be eliminated from the gene pool.

What do you learn in senior high?

I've been wondering lately, how much did you learn in years 11 and 12 that you still regularly use?

I figure, if you know what you're wanting to do beyond school, you should almost exclusively study all the things that would apply to that goal. In the senior years of high school you may cultivate passions for subjects (such as history or English), but the specifics that fill your mind are basically without everyday use (aside from the odd trivia night).

Sure, with math or science, you may use them in your profession, but when else? I'm pretty sure my three unit maths know-how hasn't been unitised since the last millennium.

Another Cecil!!!

Today at Seaforth i saw another Cecil.

For the uninitiated, Cecil is the name my car has. It is named after the old guy whom i brought the car off and matches the car perfectly. What better name could an old man brown, 1980's car have?

But there is another. Same make, same model, same COLOUR!

It made me wonder... Is the driver of the car being badgered because of mistaken identity? Is he seen as a reckless, negligent, careless, thoughtless, selfish driver? More importantly, is my Cecil's reputation being smeared by an impostor?

For the first time in my life i now want to drag race. My beaten, battered, war torn Cecil vs impeccably clean and well cared for Impostor Cecil.

Just a legal ceremony

I was wondering about non Christians and marriage.

From my point of view, marriage is a covenant made between a man and a woman, before God and a cloud of witnesses, to be lifelong partners. Both leave families to be joint together, as one flesh.

But from a nonbelievers point of view it should be little more than a lavish legal ceremony. You join bank accounts. You combine superannuation status.

With all the stress involved in planning a wedding (or at least Ange told me it was stressful), why would a non Christian bother? Especially if it involves exchanging vows before a God you don't think exists.

Christian Fish... Why?

I followed a car home part of the way from work and its decoration caught my eye. The car, a Cressida none the less, had a Christian fish on the back windshield.

The whole episode made me wonder... What's the point?

Is the symbol meant to be an evangelistic device? Are people meant to pull up beside you and ask you to tell them the gospel?

Is it a device to keep you honest? Are people meant to watch you extra closely because you're a follower of Christ?

Is the sticker meant to keep you on your best behaviour? Doesn't the Holy Spirit do that?

Either way, does it just annoy people like "Baby on Board" signs? Not making a difference how you drive, nor making a difference to other motorists.

I know i wouldn't put a Fish sticker on my car. It would kill the re-sell value. It would plummet from $1000 to $990. I need the ten bucks.

Suffering and Jesus

I'm sure there is an answer to this... i just couldn't think of it today.

While slaving around Hunters Hill my mind wandered to the answer i give to the problem of suffering (because i think my answer should feel as scripted and rehearsed as possible). A part of my answer includes the incarnation and how Jesus can sympathise with our sufferings (a true point).

But i wondered how this fits with the omniscience of God. If He knows all (which is true), wouldn't he already know what suffering felt like? He suffered when humanity turned away from Him prior to God breaking into human history two thousand years ago. Furthermore, He gave us the emotions that we feel when we do inevitably suffer.

All this hasn't changed the answer the answer i give to suffering, but i may wonder internally how it all exactly fits together. Deuteronomy 29:29 i guess...

What a Little Army Man has to do with God

You may not know that i carry around a little army man in my wallet. He's a centimetre tall and is the last of (i think) a couple of hundred i used to have as a little kid.

The reason i carry the little guy around is simple. He reminds me of my childhood. Both physically and spiritually.

Physically, he reminds me to pray for my parents. Spiritually, he reminds me that i am an adopted child of God.

I'm a big fan of creating reminders in life that continually point you to the things of God. Aside from my wallet, my other reminder occurs in my phone.

In my phone i have a continual note that simply says "Do you still love Jesus."

As a believer, this is the question that needs to be before me continually and answered daily.

Generalisations

It was pointed out to me that i make a significant number of generalisations on my blog. In review... this is indeed true.

So it needs to be said, if you don't fall into one of the sweeping assumptions that i make then the problem is obvious.

I'm normal and you're not. Simple really.

Am I a Christian Whore?

Over the weekend the word whore was bantied about in my direction. This was in response (and even prior) for divulging that I've kissed 8 women in my life (aside from family members or innocent pecks on the cheek).

Searching the Internet, to the best of my findings, the average Aussie has had 6 sexual partners in their life by the time they are 30 so I'm not hugely over the average.

So can a Christian be a "whore" even if they don't go "all the way" and only suck face? And is the number 8 over the threshold to be called a strumpet/trollop?

I don't feel like a whore...

30 minutes max...

Over the weekend i was at a conference where the speakers spoke reguarly for an hour straight. One of the speakers held your attention much better than the other and it got me thinking about how long i aim to preach for (especially since i'll be doing it again in a fortnight and am already thinking about it).

I once read (i think by John Maxwell) that to hold an audience for an hour you must be a phenominal communicator. At the conferences case, the first one was. To hold an audience for 45 minutes you must be very good. 30 minutes... you gotta be good.

But determining how long you can hold someones attention goes beyond how well you can get your point across.

You also need to consider how well you know your content and how relevant or useful will be to your listeners.

With these in mind i usually aim to limit myself to around half an hour or less. Firstly, i'm not convinced i can hold anyones attention beyond with meaningful results. Secondly, i'm less than convinced that i can mine a passage for adequate content to fill half an hour.

So... why does it matter?

It matters, baceause if you're going to communicate the gospel most effectivly, i think you should be realistic of whatyour limits are. If you are aware that your audience can't stand a 45-60 minute diatribe, then don't give them one. Furthermore, if you can give a better message in 30 minutes, then why wouldn't you?

25 minutes of quality has gotta be better than 45+ minutes where you lose those you are trying to serve.