The playbook for finding a long-term relationship

In my last post I wrote that Tinder won’t find you love.

Tinder rewards attractiveness and attention. The relationships you admire are built on more than these.

So, what dating advice would I give to someone searching for a long-term relationship?

Date in an old-fashioned way.

Date based upon time, not swipes.

Date based upon character, not Instagramability.

Date based upon connection, not choice.

The way you do this is by, paradoxically, saying yes.

Putting yourself physically out there, not digitally.

Putting yourself in contact with a range of people - those you know, those who are known by others and those you’ve never met.

For, these are the contacts you need.

And start by saying yes.

Date a friend.

No really. 

Date someone you already know.

Take the risk.

Date someone who already knows your quirks and you know there’s.

Date someone who has already seen your character and you know there’s.

Date someone who you already have a foundation of friendship.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

This works best.

It has for generations. 

It still works now.

But, please don’t start by randomly kissing them as a TikTok challenge.

Change your mindset to seeing your male/female friends as a romantic potentials.

But, what if you a friend isn’t an option?

Ask your friends or close workmates to recommend someone.

I know… cringe.

But, if you’re wanting QUALITY recommendations, they will come from people know ACTUALLY know you, not an algorithm.

Again, these are people who know your quirks.

People who know your character.

People who know… you… by spending time and experiences with you.

And… if the point you towards someone… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

But, what if this isn’t an option?

Then branch out. 

Network.

Go to places where you bump into people.

Join clubs.

Join teams.

But… do so in places where you have things in common.

If you like running… join your local park run.

If you like netball… start playing mixed netball.

If you like (insert whatever)… find a place where you can physically meet people who share that interest.

You may get fortunate and meet someone who is also single. With something you have in common. That you can talk about. That you can share.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

NOTICE THE TREND!!!

When you go back and consider the relationships you most admire, this is how they started.

It has worked for generations.

It still works now.