The thoughts which must be haunting a church visitor

At my school I am both the coordinator for incoming year 7’s and Peer Support. As such, I get the…. privilege… to see brand new high school students from their very first days.

For some kids, coming to high school isn’t too scary.

Of course, the campus is new and it’s full of large unfamiliar people, but there are some things which can soften the initial shock - friends and siblings.

Having an older sibling will allow a youngster to see a family member confidently negotiate the incoming change.

Having a social group (usually from their primary school) will allow a student familiar peers to face the new obstacles with.

Not every student have these softeners.

Every year contains students who are throughly on their lonesome.

Maybe you remember your first day at high school.

Frankly, I don’t remember mine. But, I certainly did have a day when I initially walked into my high school for the first time.

Do you recall your first day at church?

Again, I don’t recall mine. But I know it would have been when I was in, or around, year 7.

But, I have entered plenty of churches for the first time.

Sometimes it has been as a new employee.

Other times it has been as a potential congregant.

Certainly, no matter the reason, it has always been easier if there has been someone whom I already know or I am not entering by myself.

That’s why, I think the bravest church-seeker is the single young adult.

If they are searching for a new church, no matter if they are a believer or someone exploring Christianity, there is a decent chance that they are doing so alone.

This should make any single-twenty-something visitor to a church a minor miracle.

They are, potentially, stepping into a foreign space for the first time in many years.

They are, potentially, back into the shoes of themselves on day-one of high school.

And, again, already familiar relationships soften the landing in a new church.

But, if you’re a young adult who has moved into a new area, searching for a new faith community must be quite intimidating.

I wonder, if we remain mindful of our first day of high school, how would it affect the way we view and treat those who are visiting our places of worship for the first time?

The enjoyment in-balance of church

My wife and I just returned from a holiday to Europe. Being part German, she goes every year, I only head over every second year.

The itinerary usually breaks down to a mixture of cathedrals/churches/monasteries, Roman ruins, Medieval towns, picturesque German villages and the obligatory family visitations.

This year, while we were in Bonn, we ended up listening to a choir concert within one of the local Doms.

My wife, who sings choral, loved it.

I endured it.

In attendance because I knew that she would throughly enjoy it.

Unsurprisingly, she appreciated the concert on a whole different level than I did.

She recognised the songs.

She knew the composers (a few even personally).

She valued the quality of the singing in a far deeper way than I could.

The equivalent would be when my wife and I attend a sporting event.

I, having followed the sport - be it cricket or rugby league - will understand what’s happening far more than my spouse.

I will know the intricacies of the rules and the stories within the contest.

In short, I will appreciate the event on a similar level to my wife in a choir concert.

And yet, we both attend.

I wonder if this is a similar feeling within churches.

Some people are very engaged.

They are comfortable with the social cues.

They are deeply familiar with the context of the stories.

They are personally engaged with the message and, often, the messengers.

How does this dynamic play out when you’re in a relationship where one of your has been a believer, or at least a member of a particular church, for a long time which your partner is still fairly unfamiliar?

Is there a disconnect in the enjoyment of the experience?

Is there a greater reluctance to attend?

There are many good reasons for believers to avoid entering romantic relationships with unbelievers, but the inability to share church with that person is something which I feel is underplayed.

The REAL purpose of High School

Of course, the answer is to learn.

Der.

As a teacher, this SHOULD be my response.

But, as a teacher, I also know that school doesn’t work for everyone.

For some kids, learning is not the primary purpose of school.

It’s certainly not the primary result.

Frankly, it wasn’t for me.

I was more interested in hanging with my mates and having fun.

Lunch was, at least, of equal importance as any other part of the school day.

I learnt to love studying after my years in high school.

For some kids, the structures of school, don’t combine well with their personalities or upbringing.

It would be an imaginary pipe-dream to think that every high schooler had a passion for their education.

This is why I think that formal education is only a part of the point of high school.

Personally, I think that high school is a success if you discover three things.

An identity.

A tribe.

A passion.

You should leave high school with a firm idea of what you believe. What you stand up for. What you will stand against.

This is your identity.

You should leave with a group you belong to. A bunch of people who accept you. A group you find support in. 

This is your tribe.

You should leave high school with a sense of what you enjoy. What you’re good at. What interests you.

This is your passion.

Over the six years of high school, if all you leave with is a result which concluded with your final exams, then I think you’ve missed some of the most significant elements of high school.

If you depart with an identity, tribe and passion, then you’re equipped to launch into your next stage of life - even if you don’t academically achieve everything you could have.

With a firm identity, a supportive tribe and a passion to drive you, then you’re ready for the next steps of young-adulthood.