How my past shaped the flaws of my ministry

I wrote earlier this week that every prospective minister must be queried about the flaws of the most influential minister from their past.

The reason I feel that this question is so pertinent is the effect that this had on me.

Over my decade-plus in youth ministry I seriously weighed up getting ordained.

In fact, I took the first steps towards ordination.

Ultimately, I decided against continuing down the road of ordination, but I did spend 13 years in vocational youth ministry.

And I was far from perfect.

Some of my flaws were public.

Some failings remained behind closed doors.

Some problems deeply affected those around me.

Some shortcomings directly attributed to me no longer working for the church.

Some weaknesses, ironically, contributed to me gaining the positions I did within the church.

And this final point is the reason why perspective ministers need to be asked about the problems of their spiritual predecessors.

For, some of my faults can be traced back to my youth minister.

While as a minister and a man there were many things to like and admire about him, he was also personally and professionally flawed.

And, we share some of those flaws.

In fact, I learned some of those flaws from him.

Why?

Because I benefited from some of those flaws.

I gained by being a beneficiary from these blind spots.

For example, his perceived favouritism worked in my favour. I was a part of the inner circle.

Thus, I mirrored some of his shortcomings.

I saw him expect a lot of his leaders; so did I.

He intentionally set a high relation temperature within his leadership team; I tried to do the same.

He wasn’t afraid of posing probing questions; nor do I.

But, when executed in an unhealthy manner, they can be damaging.

People feel neglected.

People feel intimidated.

You can project arrogance.

I did all of the above.

I neglected.

I could intimidate.

I could be arrogant.

And, while I need to completely own that, a root can be traced back to my spirituality formative years.

Thus the importance of my initial question.

Are those embarking upon ministry aware of the ministry baggage which they bring with them?

Even if the personally benefited from these leadership flaws, can they identify how these traits can be a negative for wider vocational ministry?

The questions every beginning minister must face

“What has been the worst trait of the most influential minister in your life?”

This is the essential question (aside from the one about a genuine sense of calling by God) which every perspective minister must wrestle with.

The reason is simple.

The answer will shape their ministry.

The answer will colour, for good or bad, their time in ministry.

The answer will affect those around them.

The answer will affect the way those they minister to see God.

“Where do you see this negative trait within yourself?”

The answer to this will reveal their self awareness.

The answer will expose their ability to spot their own weaknesses.

The answer will show their alertness that this trait is, indeed, a negative not a positive.

“How are you not going to make the same mistakes?”

This answer will uncover the likelihood that generational damage will not be inflicted.

From what I recall, no one sat me down and asked me these questions when I was considering ordination nor while I was in vocational ministry.

In my next post I’ll share why I should have…

Do you consider the testimony you leave for the cleaners?

Every church needs to be cleaned.

Every church doesn’t have a professional cleaner.

The former is a necessity.

The later can happen through many avenues. Paid cleaners are only one option.

Nonetheless, when I stay behind at my school I regularly witness those who clean the campus.

I wonder what they think about our students based upon the trash which is left behind.

What judgements do they make based upon the way the school is left at the end of every day?

Whenever it occurs, what testimony is left behind for the cleaners of our churches?

What do the way we treat our facilities say about us?

This is a complex web once you take into account that ministries draw in non-believers, the vulnerable and the unstable.

In short, ministry can be messy - both relationally and physically.

But, the remanence of our ministry surely send a message.

And, if those who deal with the mess are not believers, then the leftovers from our activities speak to them.

But, do they leave a positive message?

Do they testify of our care for creation?

Do they speak of our care for each other?

Do we even stop, at the conclusion of our activities, at assess the testimony which we are leaving behind?