What I learnt from attending a lot of funerals

I’ve been to lots of funerals.

When you’ve worked for multiple churches over 13 years, this is unsurprising.

When that denomination was the one with the - on average - eldest attendees, this is even less surprising.

When one of your churches was the chapel for the local private school, this increases the amount of funerals dramatically.

Add all these contingencies together, along with being one of the few members of your church who could run the technical elements of a funeral in the middle of a workday, then my amount of funeral lurking is entirely predictable.

For, most of the time, I was just a funeral lurker.

I often didn’t know the deceased.

I usually didn’t know many people in attendance.

But, I learnt a lot from attending so many funerals.

First, they reminded me of what matters. What really matters. Funerals are a time for the essentials. The plain gospel. Family. Fond memories.

Second, they reminded me that life is finite. Mine, like all others, will end. I will one day have a funeral.

Third, they reminded me that death is unpredictable. I could be snuffed out at any age. More than once I attended a funeral of someone who I shared the same age as. The day of my funeral is out of my control.

Fourth, they taught me how to write a good eulogy.

Finally, it they placed the voice of the grave periodically in front of me.

Collectively, these funerals placed a regular reminder that my life and ministry mattered. 

They impacted others.

They impact beyond my days.

For some, they help impact their eternity.

The voices from the graveyard that we need to hear

I’ve just finished listening to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast.

As I heard about the ups and downs of the Seattle monolithic, my mind wandered to the churches I’ve worked in, the ministries I’ve led, the people I’ve worked alongside and the undulations of all their fates.

Of course, I also pondered my time in ministry and the triumphs and tragedies which unfolded.

On many occasions, things sounded familiar.

But, one thing which struck me was a short point that someone made in the final episode.

Churches have lost the ministry of graveyards.

With the majority of churches now disassociated with tombs on their church grounds, the somber reminder of death has now been silenced.

And, as a modern church, we are weaker for it.

We are weaker because we don’t have a regular reminder of our destination.

We are weaker because we don’t have an intimate connect with funerals and death.

We are weaker because we don’t have the silent witness of the bygone saints.

For, these give us perspective.

These give us a reminder that we will be in the graves ourselves all too soon. And, then, we will be accountable. For how we live. For how we minister. For how we lead. For how we treat others.

The point was made that, with a louder voice from the graveyard, some of the mistakes churches and ministers make could be - at worst - reconsidered and - at best - avoided outright.

For, we need to be reminded periodically of our own mortality.

We need to be reminded that our days, ultimately, are short.

We need to be reminded that we will give an account for the way we have lived out those days.

We need to be reminded that what we do in ministry is only a link in a very long chain. It was there before us. It will be there after us.

This is true for the church.

This is true for your ministry.

This is undeniably true for the gospel.