You must be safe but not confidential

Anyone who works with youth or the vulnerable knows that they are in a privileged position.

Hopefully, as you build relationships with the young people - no matter if they are in a classroom, church, service, tutor or coaching context - you may become someone who they feel increasingly comfortable talking with.

They may share their dreams.

Their struggles.

Their interests.

Their frustrations.

But, this must come with a significant caveat.

You are safe.

But you are not confidential.

You are an adult who they can freely talk to.

But everything cannot remain private.

And, this must be made clear upfront.

for, when it comes to issues of mandatory reporting - be they abuse, harm from others/self or neglect - these are areas when confidentiality cannot be maintained.

Of course, this should reinforce the fact that you are a safe person to confide in.

You will ensure they are safe.

And remain safe.

And this demands that some things don’t remain confidential.

The "all things" of Sex

I'm currently wrapping up my planning on an adventure I'm about to undertake with my senior Studies of Religion Class: Sexual Ethics.

This term I'm about to embark on a six week teaching section on sexual ethics across three religions - Christianity, Islam & Buddhism.

This was always one of the biggest selling points for my subject.

No other subject, really, will go in depth and wrestle with the topics surrounding sexual ethics - consent, celibacy, contraception (but not abortion since it technically falls into the bio-ethics segment of the curriculum), fornication/pre-marital sex, marriage, polygamy, monogamy, adultery, divorce, purity culture, homosexuality, LGBTQIA+ affirmation, masturbation & pornography.

Across most religions, sex is a big deal.

Sex has a purpose.

Sex is significant.

Sex is a powerful driver of thoughts and deeds.

And, sex shouldn't be divided from religion.

In fact, sex can be sanctified.

Even an act of worship.

Some would even claim that sex is a spiritual discipline.

But, when it comes to the Christian outlook on sex, there is one oddity which doesn't get mentioned.

Sex is included in all things...

All things... which were made by God.

All things... which can be used by God.

All things... which can glorify God.

But, is it included in the "all things" which we include God in?

Is it included in the "all things" which we give up to God?

This is the meat of sexual ethics.

I suspect, if we genuinely held that sex is a part of the "all things" which should include Jesus, then the manner which we speak about sex would be transformed.

There would be less shame.

There would be more truthfulness.

Without crossing lines of impropriety, the way we speak about sex would be more open.

Why?

Because sex has a purpose.

Sex is significant.

Sex is relevant.

Sex is powerful.

Sex is religious.

In the modern world, sex can be sanctified.

Having a way to tap into the wealth of knowledge in your community

Both schools and churches hold a similar role when it comes to the young people in their midst: they are places for guidance.

Of course, this guidance is influenced by their values and culture, but any advice dished out should be in the best interest of the youngster.

Arguably, the best form of advice is based in experience.

Fortunately, both schools and churches hold within them mountains of experience.

Job experiences.

Education experiences.

Life experiences.

But, these experiences can only be useful if they are known.

For example…

I’ve been divorced.

I’ve been through two miscarriages.

I’ve been in ministry for over a decade.

I’ve got a theology degree.

I’ve worked as a water/gas meter reader.

I’m in a position to give some (possibly valuable) advice about these and a heap of other topics.

Everyone has places where they hold some expertise.

But, these can only be made use of if they are known by those who are being put forward as advice dispensers.

Ideally, the youth minister or career adviser has a way to determine what expertise exists within their school or church.

Put simply, it may involve nothing more than a short survey which asks what experiences the responder has and if they would be prepared to chat about these experiences if an opportunity arose.

There’s a chance that no one in my public high school will ever show an interest in pursuing youth ministry or gaining theological training, but I’m fairly confident the advice I may provide will be better than someone who has never entered a church or has any idea how you select a place to do your B.Th.

Predictably is a sign of success

If you’re tying to teach something, launching a surprise shouldn’t be the aim.

In fact, the aim should be predictability.

No matter if it is in the classroom or the pulpit…

Your content should be predictable.

Your delivery should be predictable.

Your links between points should be predictable.

While I don’t want to downplay creativity or innovation, these should be the trimmings affixed to a rather orthodox lesson.

A marker that your lesson has been effective is that your listeners/students can make the connection between the segments of your lesson without significant assistance.

For, they should be able to see how your points hang together.

They should be able to see how one leads to another.

Better yet, they should be able to predict what direction your lesson or sermon is taking while you are still in the middle of delivering it.

A sign of an ineffective teacher or preacher is if they regularly take a twist that no one sees coming.

The reason is simple.

You should, for the vast majority of your teaching, be sticking to the tried and tested points and techniques.

There’s a good reason they exist.

Doing so will result in more effective lessons and, ultimately, far more retention of your content because they aren’t being rocked by a theological, intellectual or pedagogical roller coaster.

Even the most boring conversion is remarkable

Over the last term I’ve been teaching my senior class, amongst other things, about the significance of the personality Martin Luther to Christianity and, for my junior class, I’m wrapping up an overview of Christianity. 

As a result, I’ve been teaching quite a bit about the idea of salvation by grace, or as Luther would call it, Sola Gratia.

In short, humanity is saved by a gift of grace, undeserved, which is solely an action of God.

As a result, my thinking about conversion stories has softened.

Many conversion stories are, frankly, kinda boring.

Mine is.

There’s no Damascus moment.

There’s no vision.

There’s no audible voice.

There’s no Prodigal repentance.

There no turning away from sex, drugs or rock’n’roll.

Instead, there’s a slow realisation.

And, this story is remarkable.

Why?

Because what God has done, through Jesus, is remarkable.

This makes every conversion story remarkable.

For, if we are truely saved by grace, then the entirety of our salvation story is based only upon what God has done, not what part - small, large, conservative or dramatic - we may play.

What preaching taught me about teaching

During parent/teacher interviews, I’ll readily admit that I’m the loudest, most energetic, teacher in the school.

I’m sure it’s the residual enthusiasm I had from my time in youth ministry.

I was also the loudest, most energetic, scripture teacher.

I was also fairly boisterous in the pulpit (but not over the top).

When it comes to the classroom, I subscribe to what John Wesley (supposedly) said about his preaching.

Allegedly (but probably not) Wesley stated that God, through His Spirit, would set his preaching on fire, and people - if nothing else - would come to watch him burn.

I teach in the same way.

My classes are entertaining.

They are loud.

They are often odd.

They are smattered with quirkiness.

And, hopefully, students can’t - if anything else - look away.

This is why, in some of my senior classes, I’ll pick up the odd orphaned student.

It turns out, if nothing else, that I put on a good show…

The prayer you don’t have to pray but hear often

There is a prayer which I’m sure, if you’ve spent any significant amount of time around churches, that you’ve heard uttered before.

And, while it is said with the best of intentions, it is completely needless.

The prayer is for God to be present.

These words are not required.

Why?

Because God is present everywhere.

It goes along with the omniscience of God…

God, by His nature, is present. Everywhere. All the time.

What we should pray, and what I think is usually intended to be prayed, is the following… that we should be aware of the presence of God.

This is a POWERFUL prayer.

This is a TRANSFORMATIVE prayer.

This is a prayer which we NEED.

We need to be aware of God’s presence, allowing it to shape our actions, words, thoughts and worship.

Be it at the start of a church service, bible study, meeting, confrontation or any other occasion when we tend to invite Gods presence, praying for mindfulness of the reality of God’s presence will be far more useful.

Education analogies

Pitcher/catcher.

Doctor/patient.

The pitcher wants to do his best.

The catcher needs to receive the pitch by focussing on what the pitcher is delivering.

The doctor wants what’s best for the patient.

The patient needs to follow the direction of the teacher.

This is how teaching works best.

We are the pitcher.

We are the doctor.

Our students are the catchers.

Our students are the patients.

The central point is that both teacher and student need to work in partnership.

Without both teacher and student working together, education falls apart.

Your ministry in the pews on a Sunday

Tomorrow, like most Sundays, I’ll be listening to a sermon.

While I’ve stood in the pulpit and delivered sermons plenty of times before, I’ve been the recipient of a sermon far more than I’ve been the deliverer.

Every so often I’ll gaze out at my fellow congregants during the sermon.

Some are listening. 

Some are zoned out.

I am, honestly, usually bouncing between the two.

Of course, to the one up the front, the attentiveness of those in the pews is not a mystery.

For, you listen with your body, not just your ears.

You listen with your eyes.

You listen with your arms.

You listen with your hands.

Your eyes drift.

Your arms cross.

Your hands either fidget or cease taking notes.

Your body testifies to your attentiveness.

And, your body can perform a ministry to the preacher.

You can be an encouragement.

The manner you listen on a Sunday morning speaks loudly to the one up the front.

Perhaps, I’m not the only one who needs to consider the message I’m sending to the messenger on a Sunday…

Pushing beyond the comfortable response

We all have our comfortable answers.

It happens in the classroom.

It happens within churches.

Sometimes, the challenge required is to take someone beyond their comfort response.

To drag someone away from their area of expertise.

To invite someone to empathise with another whom they may not otherwise.

To draw someone to go beyond their pat answer.

One place where this can raise its head is prayer.

When we pray we can fall into common cliques.

We can drift into our comfortable areas.

The challenge of a leader/teacher, at times, is to ask for more.

To push for more.

To want more.

To be prepared to wait for more.

Otherwise, people will be content to remian in their comfort zone.

If your the leader, then you must be prepared to do this for every question you ask

A good leader won’t ask his/her followers to do anything that they themselves aren’t prepared to do.

With this being said, whenever a leader asks a question, they should be prepared to respond to the question themselves.

This can apply for introductory sharing questions - What do you do? How old are you?

Or deeper exploratory questions - What is your favourite childhood memory? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Or probing biblical enquires- What jumps out at you about this passage? How do you think you can apply this passage to your week ahead?

If a leader poses a question to the group, they should provide the first or the last answer.

This, first, provides safety for other people to share.

Second, if the leader answers first, then it can provide a launching board for others to follow.

Finally, it’s unfair that a leader should ask for others to be vulnerable if others (or more dishonestly, the leader secretly) are aware that the leader themselves won’t be prepared to share.

How every ministry event should end

This event will end at (insert time here) and you are then free to leave. No questions asked.

But, you don’t have to leave at the allotted time. You can stick around for some unstructured time a while (usually until the leader is departing).

This is how every ministry event should end.

A firm finish so time so people can know when the event will definitely conclude.

A flexible finish time so ministry or fellowship can casually continue.

To advertise both is essential and a healthy ministry - be it a church service, small group, youth/young adults activity - will have both.

The two questions which put student’s opinions into perspective

I’ve previously written about the best piece of teaching advice I’ve received. To sum up, it is the remember… your students are just teenagers. No random fifteen year old should be able to seriously affect your worldview or sense of self worth.

Over the last few years in the classroom, I’ve developed a series of mental tests which remind me of the truth that my original supervising teacher imparted to me.

Do your student choose their own bedsheets?

Two years ago (or even currently) does the student before you buy their own underwear?

Frankly, if the answer to these two questions is a negative, allow this to place their opinion into an appropriate perspective.

If someone doesn’t have the agency, ability or maturity to choose what they sleep on or the patterns on their undergarments, then their words should hold little weight.

Why?

Because they are being said by children.

And no one who’s mum makes their bed or purchases their undies should be able to genuinely rock your emotional regulatory gyroscope.

The prayer you never need to pray

“God, I pray that you will with us.”

You just wasted your breath.

By His very nature, God is everywhere.

Including your bible study.

Including your church service.

Including your “community building” activity.

God doesn’t require a formal invitation.

Instead, we should pray that we BE AWARE of Gods presence.

We should pray that we act like we are in Gods presence.

We should pray that our conversations are seasoned by an awareness of Gods presence.

We should pray that we worship in light of Gods presence.

But, we don’t need to invite God in. He is not a vampire.

When are we satisfied with spiritual literacy?

I’ve just started reading a book about reading.

To quote my youngest, when she spotted the book next to my bed, “that sounds boring.”

Honestly, it may well end up being a dull slog.

Hopefully, the book will, at least, help me be able to teach advanced literacy somewhat better to my senior classes.

Currently, the book is making the good point about the way we teach literacy in schools.

In general, we’re satisfied by year 6. Maybe year 8.

When our students are younger, we heavily focus on literacy. We have to, they are still learning language.

But, our focus on literacy quickly drops away in high school. Due to the sheer amount of content that our subjects need to plough through, literacy becomes incidental.

Really, the only time high schools are forced to focus on literacy in the upper grades is to have their students meet the minimum standards required in order to complete year 12.

Minimum. Standards.

This is around the literacy level of a decent year 8 or 9.

The book I’m reading makes the point that this is around the age/level that we cease teaching intentional literacy.

How to read. 

How to skim. 

How to note-take. 

How to form an argument.

Grammar.

All of these tend to stagnate in junior high.

I wonder if a similar thing happens in our churches.

We intentionally teach them about the faith while they are children and teens.

Then, we start to drop this focus.

We start to settle for the minimum standard (like the ones I posted about in my last post).

We don’t really hold our congregations to an adult level of understanding.

Because we are saved by grace, not by our ability to pass a theological exam, we allow our adults to stagnate in their understanding.

No one is expected to genuinely wrestle with the concept of the trinity or the early heresies of the church.

No one is expected to be aware of the spread of the faith and the obstacles the early church had to overcome.

No one is expected to wrestle with the difficult passages of the bible unless they are touched on via the pulpit.

Are our churches, like it could be argued that our schools, only producing underdeveloped “products” because we don’t expect them to reach beyond the minimum standard?

What is the minimal amount you should know?

Within Islam, the minimal amount that you need to know is the Shahada - Allah is God and Muhammad is His Prophet.

Within Buddhism, the minimal amount you should know are the Three Jewels - the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha - an example to follow, a way to live and a community to belong to.

What is the minimal message of Christianity?

John 3:16?

Jesus loves you?

I think it should be a little deeper than these.

I think, if someone can understand the following points, then they have a good grasp on the basics of following Jesus.

God made everything.

God knows and loves what He has made.

This includes humanity, including you.

God desires a relationship with people, including you.

Jesus is God in the flesh/incarnate.

Jesus reveals what God is like.

Through His actions on the cross, Jesus made a relationship of friendship possible between God and humanity, including you.

We are, ultimately, saved by grace - based only on what God has done - through faith - trusting in God alone.

The overflow stays with them

In all my subjects I teach a lot of details.

Far too many for any student to be able to remember.

Fortunately, the majority of things I want my students to be able to recall are the concepts of my subjects. 

This is what really matters.

I’d they understand the overarching principals behind the facts, then they will be in a better position to be able to accurately explain what my subject is about and be able to apply these concepts to other subjects and areas in their life.

But, in reality, over time most of what I teach will be lost.

I don’t expect my students to be able to recall the seven ways which you’ll die in trench warfare, the seven reasons for World War 2 or the six deviations on the understanding of the humanity of Jesus.

The same is true in a church setting.

No one remembers the details of every sermon they hear. 

No one is expected to be able to recount every aspect of a bible study.

The things you remember - in both the classroom and church - are the extras.

The overflows of who you are as a teacher or a minister are the things which travel with people far beyond the months/years they physically spend with you.

Your character.

Your enthusiasm.

Your care.

These are the things which really matter.

This is what makes someone look back at you fondly.

These will be the traits of every one of your favourite teachers and ministers.

These will make an impact on the rest of their lives.

The details within a lesson or sermon will fade quickly, but the overflow of you - the way they were welcomed, or included, or supported, or inspired - this can last decades after you have gone.

Overloading the start

Tomorrow, for the first time this year, I’ll actually stand before students and teach.

Needless to say, I’ve had a lot to prepare.

Now, as usual, I over-prepare and bog myself down in details which could easily be overlooked.

While my to-do list has been substantial, I’ve been given ample time to get ready.

But, this is not how our academic year began.

Like every year, it kicked off with a meeting.

A lengthy meeting.

A meeting with A LOT of details.

Sure, some (maybe even many) of them were vital to hear in person.

But, if I were a new teacher - be it straight out of university or just at a new school - it would feeling overwhelming.

Names.

Dates.

Acronyms.

Procedures.

Students.

Curriculums.

Assessments.

Concerns.

Day one would have been an mass of information overload.

Frankly, I’m glad that the start of my teaching journey didn’t include a full-time teaching load.

A massive workload, underlined with a flood of fresh information, would have made me feel even more uncertain about day one than I was otherwise.

Why it’s good that I’d never run a creative ministry

I have a lot of talents.

Arguably, humility isn’t one of them.

But, I’m far from a jack-of-all-trades.

This is why you need others.

They have talents you don’t posses.

They have passions you don’t have.

They have visions you don’t share.

Every so often, one of the churches I used to be the youth minister of will pop back into my eyesight, usually on social media.

One of my old patches is now running a creative space for teens.

I would never have run such an event, nevertheless one which runs weekly during school term.

I can’t imagine being associated with an event which “encourages young people to explore their creativity and share their talents with others.”

This sounds like a very noble cause. 

This could be a very God-honouring ministry.

It’s just not one that I would share a passion for.

And that’s perfectly fine.

In fact, it’s a strong reminder of the diversity within the Kingdom of God.

It’s a good thing that, not only I wouldn’t run such a ministry, but that others would.

And I hope it’s a wild success.

For, people would be drawn into this ministry which mine may never have reached.

This is why we don’t have one homogeneous church.

This is why the body of Christ is not a millipede.

This why it is a positive thing that one ministry agent doesn’t stick around for decades.

If that were the case for me, there would not be (in all likelihood) a creative ministry for teens in this church.

Should parents fell bad about skipping church during the school holidays?

I’ve usually skipped church with my kids during the school holidays.

When I worked for a church, I usually expected the same.

So, should a parent feel guilty about their school-holiday endured absence?

Not according to the Tiny Bible Bit which I just wrote…

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

If you have a family with younger children, then there’s a decent chance that it’s been a few weeks since you’ve attended church.

It’s understandable.

Many churches shut down their Sunday morning children’s ministry activities while the school holidays are on (as they are in Australia, and will be for the rest of the month).

So, should churches fell like they are spiritually neglecting the youngest members of their flock?

Deuteronomy 6 doesn’t think so.

Why? 

Because the primary spiritual direction a child should receive (ideally) is within the home.

The parents should be living out their faith in front of their children.

The parents should be sharing the stories of faith with their children.

The parents, just through the regular processes of the day, should be intersecting life and spirituality often.

Of course, the children’s ministry of a church should play a significant role in helping nurture the fledgling spirituality of a child, but Deuteronomy 6 stresses that this should stretch far beyond a few hours on a Sunday.