The indicator that you’re not a Young Adult anymore

As a married guy in my 40’s, with two kids, I’m a significant distance away from being a young adult.

I’m certainly outside the scope of the young adult ministry demographic.

But my wife, a decade younger than I, was still on the edges of this demo when she started attending our current church.

Thus, I'm still loosely attached to the young adult chatter at my church.

I hear about updates.

I read about events.

I get notified about some things of the things in and around the evening service.

None really apply to me.

And, as I hear, read and get notified, I’m constantly reminded why.

I’m too tired.

I’m too busy.

I’m too… swamped in adulting.

I’m not a uni student on holidays.

I’m not a late-night reveller after the evening service.

I’m not a casual-hangout type person.

In fact, most of the activities they have in place are… unappealing.

Because I’ve got to get up in the morning.

I’ve got bills to pay.

I’ve got a mountain of work to do.

But I didn’t really when I was a twenty-something. Or even before I had kids.

As a young adult, staying at church until after midnight was appealing.

Now, it’s one of the last things I’d want to do on a Sunday night.

A marker that you’re no longer a young adult is that the things which attract and appeal to young adults are… anything but.

Is there a way to avoid inevitably having hundreds of sick days?

Currently, I have enough sick days accrued to have a day off every week for the entire school year of 2025.

And I’m only nearing the end of my third year of full-time teaching.

I know of work colleagues who have squirrelled away more than 200 sick days - the equivalent of a full academic year.

In a matter of months I will be allotted another 15 sick days. And then another the following year. And then another. And then… amass around 300 more sick days (if I stay in the public education sector) until I retire.

Of course, all these sick days are set aside in case I’m ill. And the pandemic has reminded us all that, even if you’re sick to the extent that you’d previous “power through,” now, it’s wise to stay home.

Nonetheless, I’ve only had six sick days in the last three years.

But, on average, I’ve had around 20 days (or partial days) off each year.

Between cross country, athletics and swimming carnivals, the orientation day activities I’m involved in, peer support training, end of year festivities, excursions and camps, I’m away from my classes fairly often.

So, what happens, if I took an additional dozen days above when I’m already - incidentally- out of the classroom?

In reality, I’d be out nearly the equivalent of one day per week.

More so, if I want to start knocking off the acquired sick days I’ve already built up, I’d definitely be absent regularly.

Would this be responsible?

Would this be setting a good example?

You could argue, that it is.

My work/life balance would be much better.

I’d be far better prepared.

I’d be able to strategically take time away from the classroom, at especially busy times.

But, it would come at a significant cost to my classes - especially my senior classes.

If one of my students was missing a day per week, this would be cause for a welfare concern.

So, what should I do?

Hope for a nasty dose of chronic fatigue?

Be prepared to be struck down with a nasty illness?

Of course, I’d rather not need to use my sick days legitimately.

But, racking up hundreds of sick days doesn’t seem like a wise option either…

Why we deal with the symptoms and not the root cause

Do we tend to deal with the symptom or the root cause?

Often, our systems will want to patch over the visible reactions to a dilemma.

Without the nuance of a relationship or an intimate knowledge of a situation, we tend to lean towards the surface responses, not the deeper causes behind them.

For example, we run training events about racism and discrimination, not a lack of empathy or understanding.

We run courses on managing anger, not addressing a sense of fear or a feeling of lacking control.

We may touch on the issue of our group/ministry/church not growing, but overlook the root cause of us being unwelcoming or not inviting others.

Ultimately, talking about the symptoms is easier.

But, wrestling with the root cause takes time and honestly.

Unfortunately, most institutions aren’t prepared to commit the time or provide the space to deal with the root cause behind the symptoms bubbling to the surface.

The Ministry OF Children

I’ve seen and done a lot of ministry FOR children.

Sunday mornings.

School scripture.

Special events.

Holiday clubs.

Camps.

But, the church must never lose sight of the ministry OF children.

For, the church gains an immense amount from the ministry of the children in their midst.

Simple faith.

Innocence.

Enthusiasm.

Wonder.

Play.

Acceptance.

Freedom.

Dancing.

Enjoyment.

Jesus tells us in Mark 10:15 that we must accept the Kingdom like a child.

Surely the ministry OF children is showing us how.

The matrix of volunteering obligations

No matter if it is in a church or another context, there is a flow of responsibility which comes to volunteering.

At the start, the volunteer is under no obligation.

They can choose to step up or not. 

They alone decide to put up their hand and offer help.

It’s their choice.

In return, the one who is approached by the volunteer is under no obligation to accept the offer of help.

They weigh up the need and the acceptability of the volunteer and make a measured decision about the next step.

They can accept.

They can decline (hopefully gently and graciously).

They can restrict (they can place some boundaries upon the persons’ involvement).

But, there is no obligation that the offer from a volunteer must be accepted.

The only obligation they are under is that they respond.

Timely.

With a justification for the decision they make.

And then, the obligation is for the volunteer to accept the outcome.

Hopefully, even if they are disappointed by the decision, they can accept the outcome with maturity (and in a church context, Christlikeness).

This is the chain of obligations when it comes to volunteering.

I am not obligated to volunteer.

They are not obligation to accept.

I am obligated the accept the decision.

The advantage of students seeing the face of their teacher during an exam

As we reach the middle of the school term, all of my classes will have in-class examinations leading up to the creation of school reports.

As I gazed upon my students enduring an examination, it occurred to me that those in my presence had an advantage over those sitting the exam externally.

The reason is simple.

My students can see me.

Sometimes, students will intently look at me, urgently hoping that the response they’re seeking will emerge.

As such, the students in my presence have the opportunity to look at me and, potentially, have a memory triggered of me providing the answer their mind is desperately searching for.

They may be able to imagine the actions I did to help explain the concept.

They may be able to imagine my voice imparting the information they require.

Those who are outside of my presence will be denied these possibilities.

Of course, this is ironic, since those who are doing the exam externally is usually due to additional support structures which are designed to help them perform better in the exam.

The difference between being Interested, Involved and Invested in a ministry

Everyone doesn’t need to be involved in a ministry of a church in exactly the same way.

Obviously.

Everyone doesn’t have the same skills.

Everyone doesn’t have the same availability.

The Body of Christ is not designed to be a millipede.

Everybody needs not be an identical leg.

Nonetheless, there are different depths to the involvement one can have in a ministry.

Interested.

Involved.

Invested.

No matter if the ministry is one which focuses on youth a Friday, the primary worship services on a Sunday or another midweek activity, there will be some distinguishing factors which determine the amount your willing to be involved.

The first way is time.

The sheer amount of time one spends attached to a ministry activity will help gauge the depth of their commitment.

If you’re interested, you’ll have a genuine interest, but you may never - or rarely ever - physically attend the activity.

If you’re involved, then you’ll have a genuine involvement, resulting in your regular physical attendance.

But, if you’re invested, you’ll be there nearly always.

The second determiner will be what you have on the line.

If your interested, you’re skin-in-game will be the church mission. You will pray for the ministry because it is an activity of the church. It is an activity that your congregation supports. It involves people who you know of.

If you’re involved, your skin-in-game will be the ministry itself. You will volunteer. You will go on a roster. You will be prepared to be hands on. You will develop relationships. Your depth of involvement will be because this is (or your hoping that it will) make a difference for the Kingdom of God.

If your invested, you’re skin-in-game will be a name and a face. This ministry will directly involve someone you care about. Your kid. Your friend. Your parent. You will be invested in the direct outcome of the ministry personally. You will volunteer because you intimately want to see the difference the ministry will make. 

As your depth-level of participation deepens, then you’ll find that you also have two consequences.

First of all, you’ll find greater satisfaction in the victories of the ministry.

But, you will also be close enough to the ministry that you can get burnt by the failings.

Why my teaching of 9/11 is different to everything else I teach

What is the first significant world event that you remember?

For me, it is the death of Princess Diana in 1997.

Do you remember 9/11?

There’s not one current student in high school who can respond affirmatively to the question above - they’re all too young.

This completely transforms the way I teach about the 9/11 attacks within my history elective terrorise unit.

For, with this event, it is personal history.

I remember watching it on tv.

I know where I was when I saw the buildings fall.

I witnessed the fallout over the next few days.

I know what the world was like before 9/11 and how the world transformed afterward.

I can only do this for a select few events in the history syllabus.

For me, 9/11 is living history.

Therefore, to a degree, I am a primary source.

I can only imagine that some of my colleagues have similar feelings when it comes to events like the Vietnam conflict or the Cold War.

As I get older, and my students get - proportionally to myself - younger, I imagine that these opportunities to become an active player in my history lessons will only increase.

The conversation which fuels self-efficacy

In year 6 I had a conversation with my teacher which has stuck with me ever since. The entire interaction went for only a matter of moments but, on multiple occasions, I’ve sought to have a similar conversation with one of my students.

In short, my teacher invited me to her table - and like all students - I immediately assumed that I was in trouble.

Instead, all my teacher did was point at the results of a maths test we had just sat and, subtly, indicated that my mark was the highest.

From what I remember, the only words she said was “well done” and sent me back to my seat.

Over the last few weeks I’ve had a number of similar interactions.

Usually, for the top student, or at least a student who has performed well above my expectations, I’ll invite then up the front “to have a word.”

And, with assurance that they aren’t in trouble, they will cautiously approach.

By the time our short conversation has been concluded, the student will be grinning as the walk back to their chair.

Maybe I’ll invite them to guess their mark… and keep pointing up until they arrive at the grade.

Maybe, mirroring my teacher, I’ll just point to their name at the top of a list.

No matter how the conversation goes, the aim is clear.

The aim is for the student to leave with a sense of accomplishment.

Better yet, a previously unrealised sense of capability.

Hopefully, the student realises what they have the potential to achieve.

All with an interaction which costs me almost nothing…

The cost of having a parent-less ministry to kids on a Sunday morning

I wrote here that parents should be one of - if not THE - primary providers of spiritual input on a Sunday morning in regards to ministry to children.

The reason is simple, and I believe, biblical.  

I firmly believe that parents should be the ones who are responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the their kids.

But alas, this usually doesn’t happen on a Sunday morning.

Usually, the spiritual instruction for kids is provided by a primary leader - paid or unpaid - and some volunteers who are usually unrelated to any of the kids attending.

The reasons are numerous.

First of all, many parents are themselves being spiritually fed during the Sunday service.

Second, some parents feel unprepared or unable to be productively involved.

Finally, there is the desire to “give their kids space” and “not embarrass them” by having their parents be around.

Nonetheless, I think this exclusion comes at a cost.

For, the following things are lost when parents are not included in the ministry to youngsters (including their own) on a Sunday morning:

They neglect being an example of faith to their kids.

They miss sharing their faith with their kids and, hopefully, seeing their kids develop in their faith.

They are robbed of personally witnessing/experiencing the ministry to their children.

Now, I’m not advocating that a parent is helping every Sunday morning.

Obviously, the parents are themselves entitled to spiritual input on a Sunday, but having parents be totally excluded from the kid’s ministry is a cost which most parents shouldn’t be willing to pay.

No one has any idea of our internal wounds

Currently, I have a small scab on the inside of my nose.

I also bit the inside of my cheek while having lunch with someone earlier in the week.

Finally, I can still feel the remnants of an ulcer I had in my mouth from last week.

No one has any idea.

No one knows about my nose.

I’m hoping that my cover for my chewing ineptitude was effective.

I’m sure that no one noticed my ulcer.

Why would anyone?

There’s no external signs.

There’s no observable evidence.

I never told anyone.

But, I know.

I’m aware.

I know the way it effects me.

At times, the internal wounds have changed what I did.

But, by and large, they are just a problems I’ve minimised and done nothing about.

But, I’m not the only one.

My wife has also bumped/bit her lip over the last few days.

I only know because she mentioned it in passing.

Otherwise, I may not have immediately noticed.

In all this, I was reminded of the secrets we keep.

For, we all have hidden wounds.

We are all bothered by things unseen by others.

Unless these issues under the surface directly affect our actions, then we can effectively keep them covered over.

This is how a lot of our lives work.

Unseen to others, we all have our struggles.

We all carry our wounds.

And we all try to manage them as best as we can.

What direction are you circling the wagons?

At times, you’ll need to circle the wagons.

You’ll need to protect what’s important to you.

You’ll need to engage in active self-protection.

But, circling the wagons is only half the action you take.

The second half of the action is the direct which you then face.

Are you facing out or in?

Are your thoughts and focus directed inward or outward?

For, this dramatically changes the intention behind the circle.

Is it to defend from an outside threat?

Or is it to surround something within the circle?

The direction you face within the circle determines your purpose.

The direction you face within the circle determines your attitude.

Teaching isn’t meant to be a secret

I sometimes wonder if people (especially students and parents) think that teachers receive a sly sense of accomplishment when we grade an assessment which fails.

Do some people think that we are trying to deceive students?

Is our aim meant to be to prove that we can trick our students effectively?

If this was the case, then we should get a strange sense of warmth when we dish out a grade of a 9/20.

Except I can’t think of a single teacher who thinks like this.

I certainly don’t.

If anything, I’m the exact opposite.

My aim will be to NOT deceive my students.

I will explicitly tell them everything they need to know.

I will show them.

I will tell them.

I will tell them again.

I will tell… them… slowly… and… loudly.

I will remind them.

Why?

Because I don’t need everyone to know that I’m the smartest one in the room, hoarding a secret knowledge all to myself.

In essence, my job is to arm my students with the knowledge and tools to perform well.

My job is to prepare them to be able to express what they know in the most effective manner possible.

Hiding the tricks-of-the-trade serves me, and my students, no favours.

If anything, I should be peeling back the curtain as far as possible.

I should be taking my class through the precise way I will mark.

I should be taking my class through the exact way I determine a grade.

I should be showing my class what annoys a teacher in a written response (like rhetorical questions!).

I should be telling my class to treat me (and anyone else marking their essay) like an idiot (thus they should be clear in explaining what they are writing about).

I should be explaining to my class the methodology behind their lesson structures.

I should be telling my class how I will prepare them for their assessment tasks.

I should explain to them how to dissect an essay question.

I should pick apart marking criterias in front of my class.

Why the hell wouldn’t I?

Teaching isn’t meant to be a secret.

Would putting the point first make a difference?

Last Sunday I was building towards a point with the youngsters at church.

It wasn’t - I grant you - a life-changing point, but hopefully a somewhat coherent point nonetheless.

Then, as I was about to transition from my linking activity to the meat of my lesson a sky writer was spotted in the sky.

Understandably, this threw a significant spanner in the works.

That the sky writer loosely tied into my original game didn’t help.

Frankly, it hasn’t been the first time that a lesson of mine has been derailed.

Unexpected things happen.

Focus wains.

The best of plans unravel.

Everyone who has taught for a significant time has experienced this.

So, should lessons be flipped if you can’t ensure a set time of productivity?

Instead of ending with the main point, should you start with it?

Instead of unveiling your point it slowly, should you just reveal it up front?

While it may be harder to potentially plan the lesson, I think a subtle change of language would help bridge the main point with the lesson content.

Instead of saying/thinking “let me show/tell you how what we’ve done fits together”, now the lesson should be structured around the concept “now I’ve told you the main point, let me show/tell you why it makes sense.”

For occasions where your timeframe or focus may not be assured, putting your main point up front may provide you with a way to avoid leaving the lesson without feeling like you inadequately expressed your point.

Do I miss youth ministry?

I really, really, like my job.

But, I must admit that I miss my old gig.

Often.

I missed it as I delivered my suffering spiel to my Studies of Religion class last week.

I already know that I’m going to miss it as I conduct the training for the incoming Peer Support leaders for 2025.

Increasingly, as my current job intersects with the tasks and talents of youth ministry, it reminds of of what I left behind.

The privilege of speaking in public.

Intentionally pastorally caring for a group of people.

Sharing stories from my life.

Helping others to recognise how their past can be used productively in the present.h

Teaching others how to invest in and lead a small group.

Honestly, I do miss youth ministry.

Of course, it wasn’t all wonderful.

The grind of ministry was worse than teaching… there’s always another Sunday seven short days away.

Dealing closely with other people - imperfect people - could be a challenge.

But, being a part of a community which you help shape and guide is a blessing. 

A blessing which anyone in ministry should be prepared to admit that they miss.

For, no matter how God may be using someone now or how their ministry years may have shaped them for their current life-stage, looking back fondly upon your time in ministry is nothing to be ashamed of.

When you steer into the controversial issues because they are right in front of you

Sexuality.

Marriage.

Divorce.

Suffering.

Judgement.

Creation.

Women in leadership.

The existence of God.

I am very lucky that I get to talk about all of the above topics within my Studies of Religion subject.

In fact, a part of my advertising for the subject is that it will be one of the few places which will deliberately provide a place for some of the big topics to be threshed out.

Usually, the topics come up sporadically and organically across the course content (for example, when the Buddha is challenged about opening up the newly formed community of faith to women) and this reminds me of a somewhat controversial way to teach scripture in school (a way I was never bold enough to do!).

Read the Bible.

Just read the Bible.

Instead of coming in with a packaged program, you just started reading an epistle.

Within this, you would provide all the relevant historical and social details for the book to make sense, but ultimately it would be the scriptures which guided your lesson.

For, inevitably, you’ll preach both the gospel and life.

The gospel will be proclaimed because the message of Jesus will be clearly articulated.

And life because you’ll stumble across genuine issues within the letters.

You may even drift into places which you’d otherwise avoid - like homosexuality or gender roles.

Of course, there is a danger in this free-range methodology.

You’ll need to be very prepared for what may emerge and be prepared to have robust discussions, but this way of exposing young people to the bible (and letting them dictate where the lesson proceeds) may just let them see that the bible is still capable of intersecting with modern day life.

Who are the secret heroes of your profession?

Not all heroes wear capes.

But every profession has hidden heroes.

Every job has people who keep the wheels turning when things go awry.

Every vocation has people who, while totally unsung, volunteer to step into the gap.

Every occupation has people who will place themselves into the awkward positions left vacant.

In the two professions I’ve spent the most time in, two distinct heroes spring to mind - a locum and a casual.

In a ministry context, a locum is the minister who fills in while a congregation is in the process of finding a new permanent minister.

This person is a hero.

They step into a situation which can be very difficult.

Potentially, you’re stepping into the place of a beloved minister. In this case, the hero faces the burden of comparison or a deep sense of loss.

At worst, you’re stepping into the place of a displaced minister who has left in ignominy. In this case, the hero bears the weight of a congregation who has been hurt or disappointed.

Within the school context the unsung heroes are definitely casual teachers.

They step into an almost no-win situation.

Do you recall what you thought of casual teachers when you were a student?

I sure do, and trust me, they weren’t viewed positively.

They were a chance to goof off.

They weren’t really seen a “real teachers.”

But, these heroes fill a vital role within the education system, even if they can be judged differently by those they are trying to teach.

The reason they should be highly esteemed is that they allow the education machine to keep running.

Without them, the teacher guilt of taking a sick day would be increased astronomically. Who would want to leave their students, especially as they progress through the time-crunch of the senior years, without a teacher?

Of course, if a teacher keeps pressing on when they are sick or depleted, this will ultimately result in even more time required away from the classroom.

Casual teachers are the heroes in this situation.

They step in, usually unaware of what will face them within the classroom.

They will offer to get hammered by students who are more willing to test the boundaries, if not determined to be disobedient.

No doubt, every job will have heroes who are prepared to stick their head into the professional noose.

Unfortunately, because they aren’t usually seen for weeks or years on end, their value can be undersold by those who don’t recognise the vital gaps that they fill.

What you measure is revealing

It’s happened again.

America is using its unique measurements. Again.

No, I’m not talking to the metric system.

I’m referring to the Olympic Games medal table.

For, right now, across most of the globe, America is running fifth with six gold medals - one behind Australia - five in arrears of the leader China who has 11 golds.

But, in the Land of the Free and the Brave, The USA is on top.

Why?

Because, they count every medal awarded in their tally.

In this case, the Yanks are top of the table, five ahead of the hosts.

And they want to be seen as the top of the medal count.

While, inevitably, the US will come out on top by either measurement, I think it’s telling that they use a scale early in the Games to inflate their initial standing.

For, what you measure and the way you measure are very telling.

It reveals what you value.

It reveals how you want to be viewed.

And the same temptation exists within churches and schools.

You can use measurements to appear better than reality.

You can restrict what you measure to obscure what’s actually going on.

You can emphasise only the data you want.

Of course, we want to appear at our best and, if we find a metric to reinforce this than we will ensure that this measurement is publicised widely.

So, no matter if it’s a church, school, athletic body or political party, what you measure and the manner you measure it, can reveal a great deal about the ones doing the measuring.

The window has now closed for another two years

I’ve just concluded a fortnight of school holidays.

My wife is currently in Europe on her annual trip to visit her family.

As of Sunday, this unique window closed.

I returned to school today.

My wife returns on Friday.

This means that my biennial experiment is over.

What experiment?

Growing facial hair.

Last Sunday I had the delight to return to my well-groomed norm.

No scraggly beard.

No dirty moustache.

No more odd empty patches upon my chin.

The reason I get to unleash my facial fuzz every second year is simple…

I’m curious.

Can I grow it?

Can I grow it better now than a few years ago?

How much of the fuzz will still be rusty?

Will any be grey now?

Over the last two-and-a-half-weeks I grew the longest facial I’ve ever had.

And I then got the pleasure to reap the rewards.

Over a series of eight steps, I got to deconstruct my facial hair and send the seedy photographic evidence to my beloved a world away.

The overwhelming lessons of this experiment?

My “beard” now does contain flecks of grey.

I look especially dodgy with a handlebar moustache.

It’s probably inappropriate to send a photo of yourself with an Adolf Charlie Chaplin moustache to your spouse of German descent…

Should we want to double-speed our faith?

Last Sunday I heard a sermon delivered via voiceover since the minister was ill.

Hearing a sermon isn’t unusual in the modern age.

We can hear sermons via podcasts while on commutes from anywhere across the globe.

But, almost without fail, whenever I hear a sermon online it will be sped up. Usually 1.5 speed.

It was unusual not being able to do that on Sunday.

Of course, I was in person so it was impossible, but the desire nonetheless remained.

In many ways, this is how a lot of modern spirituality is digested: sped up.

Sermons.

Prayers.

Readings.

Worship.

We tend to skim.

Or skip.

Or scan.

Or speed up.

Because now there is so much to consume.

Or it is a sign of familiarity.

Or, worse of all, laziness.

Perhaps, we need to make the difficult, counter-cultural, decision to slow down.

To not increase the speed.

To not increase the consumption.

In order to grow our faith in a healthy manner, we need to slow down, not speed up.