I've posted about being an introvert previously
Last week, during a meeting, it was mentioned that the majority of youth ministers were extraverts. You could understandably mistake me for an extravert.
I'm regularly up front. I lead services, get involved in chapel, preach, make silly adverts and will shamelessly plug whatever is going on.
But, as you can see from my personality profile in the sidebar, I'm dominantly introverted.
It was exposed twice during the last week. First, during an engagement party for one of my wife's friends, and again with the parent of a new kid at church. On both occasions I kept within my shell.
In reality... having to meet and welcome new people is one of my weaknesses. The advice I received after Sunday? Fake it. Act as though it doesn't bother you. Understand that it is a part of your job and tough it out.
I don't know how comfortable I am with it, but it's probably sound advice. I can always hide out in my office later.
I'm extraverted but don't like meeting new people. I don't know how I manage to be extraverted and shy at the same time. It's weird.
ReplyDeleteThought I must say I think my extraverted-ness is making a shift to introverted-ness (a small one at least).
Hey Graham and Claire and others who join in,
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those interesting twists to working with people... the need to be engaging, friendly and welcoming which entails more than but at least engages with our personality type.
The thing about introversion in that sense is it's definition of drawing your energy from being by yourself or withdrawing vs extroversion or drawing your energy from being with other people...
As an introvert I too am called on to do 'upfront' and interpersonal interactions and have in recent years pursued that as a Bible Study Leader and Camp Speaker... but I know I will peak and need time out.
Us introverts will have patterns which we can just let happen or can build in so we have energy when it's needed. For me there's nothing better after a weekend camp to be not giving lifts home and to stop, buy a paper, a treat and a drink and to sit for 30-60mins reading and spending alone before getting back to my family or civilisation. Heck I do movies and sporting events by myself on ocassion.
In short I reckon rather than faking it, it's about knowing the value to others of you putting in energy and welcoming them and doing what you do because it's important and then knowing when and how you'll take time to recharge when you're able... both become easier and more natural.
I wish I had a dollar for every party I'd been to where I hardly said a word... usually at the end of week full of words.
Anyhow, that's my two bobs worth... beyond that I want people to know where I'm at if I'm tired and not at the peak of my energised powers I find a way to acknowledge that, to apologise when appropriate and to be better next time...
Sorry for the expansive comment but you've hit on a pet topic of mine as an extreme, extreme, extreme introvert!! Who on occasion has addressed crowds of 1000 plus and spent hours chatting in groups of 6-8 people followed by an exhausted collapse in front of the TV...
Thanks Rob!
ReplyDeleteThe "fake it" bit was the part that made me feel awkward. I feel that people deserve better, and the point you made about seeing the value in others really articulates that well.
My solution is a lot like yours. Although I’m at church for ten hours on a Sunday (of I go to the morning service) I’ll make sure that I recharge my batteries by taking some time out and reading the newspapers.
One thing I have come to realize is that we are called to have balance in our lives. Jesus was both intraverted and extraverted. He was a feeler and a thinker. When taking a test like this we cannot let it define who we are. Instead we need to allow it to point out strengths and weaknesses and learn and grow from those.
ReplyDelete