Things Not to Do in Youth Ministry

It's all Tom's fault. My love of blogs and the insatiable desire to jump on the bandwagon all began by staking Tom. He was the outbreak monkey.

Now... for the first time... a guest post.

From the mind of the immensely talented and funny Tom (if he wasn't also losing his hair i would say that we are complete opposites!)...

So seeing as I've been working in youth ministry for 9 years, and Graham likes to blog about youth ministry in the hopes of becoming a famous youth minister, I thought I might go the youth ministry line and tell you some things not to do in youth ministry. Most of these I've learnt from personal experience.

1. Never call one of the girls in your youth group "phat", even if it sounds good in your head.

I knew not to call them fat, but I thought phat could be funny. Especially when I explained that it's an acronym for "Pretty Hot And Tempting". But it was only halfway through saying "Pretty hot and..." when I realised that perhaps, while more flattering, you really shouldn't be saying that sort of thing to your youth.

On a similar note, don't announce as a joke to your youth group during announcements that the senior minister has been trapped in a car accident with a marshmallow truck on the way to a boxing match. Even though you said "Now he's driving and iced Volvo*, and he's in a pretty sticky situation", they might not realise it's a joke, and will just think your being crass.

What to learn? Watch what you say carefully, especially your jokes. Some of them might be funny, some might make kids cry, some might get you fired and arrested.

2. Don't expect to come out injury free

Over the years I've had bleeding noses, a broken finger, a lost tooth, stitches, grazes, and more. Youth ministry hurts.

But the things that will cause more pain are the people who talk about you behind your back, the political maneuvering which hurts your ministry and your reputation, the leaders who let you down, the families who leave because they don't like what you're doing.

And what's going really hurt is the lives of the youth you're leading and loving, when they get hurt and sick, and depressed, when they're making dumb decisions and having other people do dumb things to them. And when you have to watch some of them walk away from Jesus, that hurts.

Youth ministry hurts.

3. Don't leave all your planning to the last minute

Booking camps, speakers, social activities, at the last minute just causes you stress and plans to fail. Trust me.

4. Don't name your youth group after an acronym

Everyone does it, and it's not cool, unless your youth group is PHAT.

5. When you let the youth group buy their own dinner, don't let the 11 year-old boy have 2 liters of Coke and a packet of Juicy Fruit dinner

Even if he says it's a good idea, it's not. He'll wet the bed, and you'll get a phone call from an angry parent.

Probably the bigger principle here is, your job is not just to win points with the young people who attend your youth group, you need to win over their parents too. It's much less fun and much less cool, but the parents can be your greatest allies or your biggest obstacles. When you do ministry you need to think through not just what will work for your young people, what will work for the parents. In fact, learn the parents names, have a chat to them when you ring to talk to their kids, or when they are picking them up at the end of a night. The more they like and trust you, the more they'll like and trust your ministry.

6. Don't think you're all that

You're not. Jesus is. Your youth group might grow, your talks might be awesome, your young people might get into fights with other youth groups about who has the best youth leader, people might be becoming Christians, everything might be awesome, and you might feel awesome, but you're not. Jesus is awesome, you're his servant. Jesus saves people you don't.

Keep your ministry focused on Jesus, not on you, and you shouldn't go too far wrong.

*Stole that joke from 1995 Wendy Harmer.

Now, go and give Tom some blog love at www.runnoft.blogspot.com