Forgetting the details of my greatest miracle

I was blind. Then I wasn’t.

I’ve mentioned it a few times - when I got an eye injury and lost my vision for a few days in 2014 and now that my eyes are getting middle-aged in 2023.

In short, I had a degenerative corneal disease which, through a medical quirk/miracle, I was cured of once I was prevented from putting in the hard-contact lens which was managing my condition.

The irony, as I was young and overwhelmed in my first ministry position, was that I was desperately asking God for vision.

I wanted guidance for the ministry.

Instead, I got physical sight.

God must have a sense of humour.

So, since then, a sign of the working of God has never been further away than a clear view of the horizon.

Of course, now that my eyes are in their forties, this reminder is getting periodically more fuzzy.

But, you’d think I can remember all the details of the original event.

I was blind.

Legally.

Medically.

And then I could see.

Unexpectedly.

Unexplainably.

And remember… almost nothing.

Frankly, I’m not sure my story would hold up in court.

I would crumble under cross-examination.

For, there’s soo many things that I don’t remember.

How did I know I could see again?

Originally, I knew that my contact lens was effective because I could see the horizon. Did I have a similar experience?

Did I try and put in my contact lens once I was physically able again?

Did I even consider it?

When did I go to my local eye doctor?

When did I go to my cornea specialist?

What did I tell them?

What did they tell me?

How long did I keep my now-no-longer-needed contact lens?

Was I hesitant to toss it away?

Why didn’t I keep it as a reminder?

I wish I knew these answers.

I wish I knew how I felt when I first worked out I could see.

I wish I could recall telling people for the first time.

YOU’D THINK I’D REMEMBER!

But, alas, I don’t.

Over the last 18 years I’ve forgotten.

I’ve forgotten the details of the best thing God has ever done for me.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason I believe prayer works.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason why I think God blesses us in ways we don’t expect.

I’ve forgotten the details of the reason why I think God is faithful.

Which in kinda sad.

But, it very much reflects the closest human relationships I have with my spiritual one - my marriage and fatherhood.

I don’t really recall many of the specific details of my wedding day.

Or either of my kids births.

Obviously, I was there.

Obviously, they were significant.

Obviously, I can tell you what happened.

Obviously, I retain detailed snippets.

But, the thing I hold onto is the ongoing result.

I hold onto the feelings.

I hold onto the lessons.

As time goes on, this is what stays with you, not necessarily the chronological order of events.