Should you pair up dating leaders?

I’ve written before about the possibility, nay probability, that leaders in Christian ministry - if both single of course (?) - will be romantically interested in each other, date and, importantly for the following point, cultivate some church nervousness.

But, before I give my opinion, I want to make a few things clear.

Love is good.

Dating can be good. And throughly godly.

Young adults dating can be a powerful testimony, especially to those younger than them.

When teaching young people about dating, having leaders who are dating in a loving and godly way can be a true blessing.

But... I’d still try to avoid the dating leaders leading together.

Now, in some cases this won’t be possible or practical. If there are only three youth group leaders, you can’t and shouldn’t give one a timeout because they are now attached.

With this said, I would seek to create some space between the two leaders.

Why?

Because they could breakup at any time.

Relationships are messy.

And they can still be an influence upon those they minister to.

So, does the distancing need to be messy?

Frankly, no.

Ideally, you just sit your leaders down and tell them honestly that them ministering apart from the added pressure of their relationship will be advantageous. They don’t need to fret if they are cranky with each other.

Alternatively, you can just say that, while juggling all the other things which accompany pastorally caring for teens, having their focus also - unavoidably - being directed at their partner is a distraction which can be unhelpful.

After all, the leaders should be there to minister to the kids, not canoodle with their love.