Transference in church and faith

Your mother...
An ex-boyfriend...
Your wife...
Your father-in-law...
That neighbor who used to "rub you the wrong way"...

In order to process our relationships, one thing we do is to compare them to those in our lives which already exist.

Sometimes this can be useful.
At other times, it can be unhelpful.

The later is a danger for faith and those who work for churches.

For, God and ministers can be caught in the cross-hairs of transference (which you can read about its danger here and here).

God can be compared with your earthly father...
God's standards can be compared with your perfectionist mothers...
Your female minister can be kindly compared with the deceased aunt you were really close with...
Your minister can be compared with a former lecturer or teacher... or your dominating ex-husband...
The youth minister at your church can remind you of your grandchild (thus you'll call him a boy no matter how old he is!)... or he could remind you of your child... or your absent father.

But the danger of projecting established relationships onto God or someone else is that they're never totally accurate.

For God's not exactly like either of your parents, no matter what they're like.
The standards which exist in your home or workplace shouldn't be replicated in church or a ministry.
The relationships you have with your family or friends won't be the same as those you have at church.
The relationship you have with every minister will be unique.

The danger exists when these projected established relationships effect the new dynamic and it takes a special discernment from all involved to sense when an action or response seems oddly exaggerated or out of place.