The problem with 50 Shades and Twilight

No, I won't be watching 50 Shades of Grey on Valentine's Day. Or any day.

It's not because I'm a prude. In fact, as I wrote here, I'm fairly un-offendable when it comes to a lot of things, including sex.

It has far more to do with the reasons outlined all over the web, like here, and television, as Lisa Wilkinson does, slamming the movie because it's poorly-written glorified domestic and sexual abuse.

And that's my problem. The message this movie sends about sex. The reason I won't be watching 50 Shades is spelt out as the second lie about sex described in this article.

In 50 Shades, sex is an act of taking.
In 50 Shades, sex is about manipulation, dominance, humiliation, power and selfishness.

This flies in the face of what sex was meant to be and what good sex encapsulates.

Sex, at the core, should be an act of giving - physically, emotionally, relationally, experientially - not taking.
Sex should be an act of putting the other person first, seeking their benefit and enjoyment.
Sex should be an act of connection and intimacy, built within a system of trust, commitment and love.

Unfortunately, 50 Shades of Grey is to adult sexual relations, what Twilight was to teenage romances (and you can read here what I thought about Twilight).

A damaging, crappy, example of a deeply unhealthy relationship.

A celebration of something incredibly damaging, which, if we witnessed it play out in real life - especially involving people we cared about - we would call it out for what it is, something harmful, manipulative and fundamentally abusive.

Don't believe me? See if you can stomach this review outlining the various abusive elements throughout the trilogy.