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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Losing the church in the "divorce"

Year 6...
Year 7...
Baptism/Confirmation...
Year 9-10...
Year 12...
First year university...
Getting married...
Once you become a parent...

I've written about the drop out points in youth and young(ish) adult ministry before.

Lots.

Some drop out point are caused by life change...
Ending primary school.
Starting high school.
Starting higher education.
You "graduate" from a group.
Moving out.
Starting a family.

Others develop relationally...
Your friendship group changes.
You get married.

In this later category, another reason can emerge.

Breaking up.

Whenever a church-going couple break up, it's not unusual for one side of the pairing to "get" the church in the ''division of assets."

For some, it will be that they attended the church for the least amount of time, thus they feel relationally squeezed out.
For others, it will be that they are "at fault" for the break up and will feel uncomfortable, even judged, at church.
In some rare cases, in order to allow one member of the former-couple to stay connected, the other will volunteer to step aside and go somewhere else.

This is the risk when two people date, no matter how well they swear to "purposely uncouple."

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