The culture of leaving

Over the last few days I've been thinking about the "drop out points" in youth ministry.

In my mind they are... End of year 6/start of year 7. Year 9. End of year 12. First year uni. Moving out/getting married.

The first two surround changing schools or social circles. In year 9 you start to encounter the pressures of sex, drug and alcohol, which again come to the forefront in year 12/turning 18. By the time you leave school you have the issues of moving away from your church due to lifestyle change or financial nessesity.

Of course the issues are more complex, and i only glossed over them, but i think there is another, underlying problem (the title of this post should give it away!).

It may sound simple, but if the expectation of the leaders or kids (spoken or unspoken) is that you up and leave at one of the drop out points, then you will more likely to find the exit door at some point.

It's a tough nut to crack. Some kids will leave. As they mature and "find themselves" they may think that the "whole Christian thing" isn't for them. That's their choice.

I think it's sad when kids/young adults walk away from church when a better offer comes along.. be it new friends, sex, drugs, the pub...

Sad, because loosing kids suck. Sad, because kids follow the example of those who go before them. Sad, because on many fronts youth ministry will never compete on a level footing with many other Friday night alternatives. Finally... Sad because it doesn't change until someone decides to take a stance and stick around.