2025 Best of…

It’s 10:30pm New Year’s Eve.

I’m sitting on the couch.

My cat is asleep beside me.

My wife is asleep besides him.

2025 is really ending with a bang…

Over the past year I’ve guided my first senior class through the Studies of Religion course and… successfully adulted my way through another year.

From 2025, my most read blog post was Having a way to Tap into the Wealth of Knowledge in your Community, followed by If you’re the Leader, then you Must be Prepared to do this for Every Question you ask.

Other Ramblings of note this year…

The Overflow stays with them

The Two Questions which put Student’s Opinions into Perspective

What Preaching Taught me about Teaching

The “All Things” of Sex

My Mandatory Casual Teaching Hacks

How I Can Teach Other Religions and Why I Want to Teach Them Well

When You’re Unknowingly the Illustration

Why the Late Families Deserve Double the Praise

The REAL Purpose of High School

The Obstacles when You’re Not Acclimatised

Do we Consume the Bible like we do TikTok?

No, I will Not Pray FOR Charlie Kirk

How Should a Youth Group or Church Respond to a Tragic Event on the Other Side of the World?

The Message that Must Emerge from the Banter

Monachopsis: The Modern Church Problem

The Mindset to Help you Handle Rejection

Shouldn’t we just be Open about our Bedroom Intercession?

Why the Pulpit MUST Volunteer

Why Tinder Won’t find you what you’re Searching for

The Playbook for Finding a Long-Term Relationship

The playbook for finding a long-term relationship

In my last post I wrote that Tinder won’t find you love.

Tinder rewards attractiveness and attention. The relationships you admire are built on more than these.

So, what dating advice would I give to someone searching for a long-term relationship?

Date in an old-fashioned way.

Date based upon time, not swipes.

Date based upon character, not Instagramability.

Date based upon connection, not choice.

The way you do this is by, paradoxically, saying yes.

Putting yourself physically out there, not digitally.

Putting yourself in contact with a range of people - those you know, those who are known by others and those you’ve never met.

For, these are the contacts you need.

And start by saying yes.

Date a friend.

No really. 

Date someone you already know.

Take the risk.

Date someone who already knows your quirks and you know there’s.

Date someone who has already seen your character and you know there’s.

Date someone who you already have a foundation of friendship.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

This works best.

It has for generations. 

It still works now.

But, please don’t start by randomly kissing them as a TikTok challenge.

Change your mindset to seeing your male/female friends as a romantic potentials.

But, what if you a friend isn’t an option?

Ask your friends or close workmates to recommend someone.

I know… cringe.

But, if you’re wanting QUALITY recommendations, they will come from people know ACTUALLY know you, not an algorithm.

Again, these are people who know your quirks.

People who know your character.

People who know… you… by spending time and experiences with you.

And… if the point you towards someone… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

But, what if this isn’t an option?

Then branch out. 

Network.

Go to places where you bump into people.

Join clubs.

Join teams.

But… do so in places where you have things in common.

If you like running… join your local park run.

If you like netball… start playing mixed netball.

If you like (insert whatever)… find a place where you can physically meet people who share that interest.

You may get fortunate and meet someone who is also single. With something you have in common. That you can talk about. That you can share.

And… say yes to dating them.

At least once.

Again, this has worked for generations.

It still works now.

NOTICE THE TREND!!!

When you go back and consider the relationships you most admire, this is how they started.

It has worked for generations.

It still works now.

Why Tinder won’t find you what you’re searching for

Modern dating sounds awful.

I’m immensely glad that I’ve never had to do it.

Of the many reasons, I would hate to be on the meat-market that is dating apps.

Frankly, I’m not attractive enough. 

On a good day, I’m a seven at best. Probably a six-and-a-half.

Maybe.

If the lighting is perfect.

But, the reason I shake my head at the Tinder interactions I overhear is that… it doesn’t work.

Not if you’re looking for something serious.

Not if you’re looking for something long-term.

Not if your primary concern is love or commitment.

Now, of course, there are success stories.

Although, I suspect, if you want something deeper than a fling, Tinder is the wrong place to look.

But, people on Tinder need to be honest about what they want.

Do they want something serious?

Do they want something long-term?

Do they want something … and this is the tricky question… which resembles the relationship/marriage that they admire the most?

If they do, dating apps isn’t the place they are likely to find it.

Why?

Because in any app where you swipe your way through a mass of potentials, only the foundation of the short-term are rewarded.

Attraction.

Attention.

This fuels hookups.

This feeds flings.

This gets swipes.

But they aren’t a foundation for serious relationships.

For, any relationship which you admire is based upon something different… they are based on character.

They are based on love.

They are based on service.

They are based on kindness.

They are based on forgiveness.

They are based on commitment.

They are based on respect.

They don’t revolve around attractiveness and attention.

But, this is what Tinder rewards.

And there’s a bunch of thing which Tinder fails to expose.

In fact, this is what short-term dating fails to reveal.

To get a genuine glimpse of someone’s character takes time.

You need to see how they treat the server.

You need to see how they respond while they wait in traffic.

You need to see how they handle adversity.

You need, frankly, the opportunity to see how they live life unfiltered.

Tinder doesn’t allow this.

Tinder certainly doesn’t reward this.

This, for a lot of people, means that they are searching in a place where they - in all likelihood - wont find what they’re looking for.

The great guy… doesn’t get past the filter of attractiveness and attention.

The quality lady… gets overlooked.

For, the reasons why they would make for a tremendous partner are unseen.

And yet… these are the very markers which punctuate the kind of relationships which people admire.

These are the things which permeate the relationships they aspire to have.

But, Tinder won’t show them to you.

So, if this is what you want, you need to fish somewhere else…

And probably start using better bait.

In my next post, I’ll give you dating advice I’d give someone wanting to find something meaningful.

The skill every teen must learn to be a productive adult

There are many things you need to learn at school.

There are some things you should learn by the time you leave school.

Some people think that school should teach you financial literacy - budgeting and paying taxes - or practical life skills like home/car maintenance or first aid.

One skill that needs to be developed by the time a youngster leaves the cocoon of high school is networking.

In order to be a productive adult, no matter what endeavours they are going into after high school, is the ability to strike up and hold a conversation.

This is THE ability which will serve them well and something a child struggles with.

For, a child is all about them.

Their needs.

Their wants.

Their interests.

Maturity is about learning to focus on others.

This, ideally, is the foundation of productive adulthood.

It is at the core of good citizenship.

It is at the core of quality friendship.

It is at the core of a valuable workmate.

It is at the core of fruitful relationships.

The ability to start and keep a conversation going sets you up for success.

This is why it is a skill which should be cultivated in the later years of high school.

Proficiency to converse opens doors and is a differentiator when selecting candidates for work or love.

Keeping the balance of ABOUT and OF the topic you’re interested in

Throughout the week I skim, scroll, read and listen to a bunch of things rotating around the things I’m interested in.

Theology.

Youth ministry.

Star Wars.

Wrestling.

A week ago I stumbled over this clip on YouTube concerning the Star Wars series The Acolyte and why it was ultimately a failure.

To sum up, in part, the show runner for the show - Leslye Headland - placed the blame on those who spent a lot of time dissected the show and the entire franchise.

And, there’s certainly no shortage of people who make a living, or at least have a platform, expressing their opinions about all things Star Wars. I listen to a few. I have my personal favourites. No doubt, there’s more bloggers, podcasters and Internet creepers than I’ll ever be able to keep track of.

There’s plenty of people yelling into the void of the internet.

Frankly, I’m doing the same thing right now.

But, one element of the response which Leslye Headland made caught my, and the podcasters, attention.

There’s a lot of people who talk ABOUT Star Wars then there is fresh content OF Star Wars.

The same is true of theology.

The same is true of youth ministry.

The same is true of wrestling.

The same is true of… almost everything.

We absorb more ABOUT a topic than we do OF the topic.

Every hour of televised wrestling will have dozens of hours dedicated towards it.

Every week in youth ministry, no matter how long you actually spend in the trenches, will be outmatched by the quantity of content you could consume.

No matter how long you read about theology, there will be more online for you to digest.

All of this is interesting, but not too concerning.

Until it comes to the bible.

This is when the balance of ABOUT and OF matters.

We can easily spend more time scrolling, skimming, reading and listening ABOUT the bible than actually reading the bible.

This is one of the challenges of modern Christianity.

Quantity over experience.

Surface over engagement.

Digital over analogue.

The concern is when what your absorbing ABOUT the bible overtakes what you get out OF the bible.

The importance of the Present-Continuum in the life of a Christian

I’m no linguist.

I’m certainly not an English scholar.

Truth be told, I had no idea what an article or a tense really were within language until I had to learn Koine Greek for my Theology Degree.

So, I have no real clue if the present continuum is an actual tense in any language, never mind biblical Greek.

That being said, the idea of the present continuum is essential to the Christian faith.

Why?

Because there’s so many elements that need to be both in the present AND in the continual.

Believe.

Repent.

Forgiveness.

Sanctification.

Being filled by the Holy Spirit.

All of these are things which occur at a moment in time.

But, they are also things which need to continue happening both now and into the future.

You had an initial moment of belief. But you must continue to believe.

You had an initial moment of repentance. But you must continue to repent.

You had an initial moment of forgiveness. But you must continue to forgive and be forgiven.

You had an initial moment when sanctification began. But you must continue to be sanctified.

You had an initial moment of the Holy Spirit filling you. But you must continue to be filled.

The Christian life is a journey within the present continuum.