You must be safe but not confidential

Anyone who works with youth or the vulnerable knows that they are in a privileged position.

Hopefully, as you build relationships with the young people - no matter if they are in a classroom, church, service, tutor or coaching context - you may become someone who they feel increasingly comfortable talking with.

They may share their dreams.

Their struggles.

Their interests.

Their frustrations.

But, this must come with a significant caveat.

You are safe.

But you are not confidential.

You are an adult who they can freely talk to.

But everything cannot remain private.

And, this must be made clear upfront.

for, when it comes to issues of mandatory reporting - be they abuse, harm from others/self or neglect - these are areas when confidentiality cannot be maintained.

Of course, this should reinforce the fact that you are a safe person to confide in.

You will ensure they are safe.

And remain safe.

And this demands that some things don’t remain confidential.

The "all things" of Sex

I'm currently wrapping up my planning on an adventure I'm about to undertake with my senior Studies of Religion Class: Sexual Ethics.

This term I'm about to embark on a six week teaching section on sexual ethics across three religions - Christianity, Islam & Buddhism.

This was always one of the biggest selling points for my subject.

No other subject, really, will go in depth and wrestle with the topics surrounding sexual ethics - consent, celibacy, contraception (but not abortion since it technically falls into the bio-ethics segment of the curriculum), fornication/pre-marital sex, marriage, polygamy, monogamy, adultery, divorce, purity culture, homosexuality, LGBTQIA+ affirmation, masturbation & pornography.

Across most religions, sex is a big deal.

Sex has a purpose.

Sex is significant.

Sex is a powerful driver of thoughts and deeds.

And, sex shouldn't be divided from religion.

In fact, sex can be sanctified.

Even an act of worship.

Some would even claim that sex is a spiritual discipline.

But, when it comes to the Christian outlook on sex, there is one oddity which doesn't get mentioned.

Sex is included in all things...

All things... which were made by God.

All things... which can be used by God.

All things... which can glorify God.

But, is it included in the "all things" which we include God in?

Is it included in the "all things" which we give up to God?

This is the meat of sexual ethics.

I suspect, if we genuinely held that sex is a part of the "all things" which should include Jesus, then the manner which we speak about sex would be transformed.

There would be less shame.

There would be more truthfulness.

Without crossing lines of impropriety, the way we speak about sex would be more open.

Why?

Because sex has a purpose.

Sex is significant.

Sex is relevant.

Sex is powerful.

Sex is religious.

In the modern world, sex can be sanctified.

Having a way to tap into the wealth of knowledge in your community

Both schools and churches hold a similar role when it comes to the young people in their midst: they are places for guidance.

Of course, this guidance is influenced by their values and culture, but any advice dished out should be in the best interest of the youngster.

Arguably, the best form of advice is based in experience.

Fortunately, both schools and churches hold within them mountains of experience.

Job experiences.

Education experiences.

Life experiences.

But, these experiences can only be useful if they are known.

For example…

I’ve been divorced.

I’ve been through two miscarriages.

I’ve been in ministry for over a decade.

I’ve got a theology degree.

I’ve worked as a water/gas meter reader.

I’m in a position to give some (possibly valuable) advice about these and a heap of other topics.

Everyone has places where they hold some expertise.

But, these can only be made use of if they are known by those who are being put forward as advice dispensers.

Ideally, the youth minister or career adviser has a way to determine what expertise exists within their school or church.

Put simply, it may involve nothing more than a short survey which asks what experiences the responder has and if they would be prepared to chat about these experiences if an opportunity arose.

There’s a chance that no one in my public high school will ever show an interest in pursuing youth ministry or gaining theological training, but I’m fairly confident the advice I may provide will be better than someone who has never entered a church or has any idea how you select a place to do your B.Th.

Predictably is a sign of success

If you’re tying to teach something, launching a surprise shouldn’t be the aim.

In fact, the aim should be predictability.

No matter if it is in the classroom or the pulpit…

Your content should be predictable.

Your delivery should be predictable.

Your links between points should be predictable.

While I don’t want to downplay creativity or innovation, these should be the trimmings affixed to a rather orthodox lesson.

A marker that your lesson has been effective is that your listeners/students can make the connection between the segments of your lesson without significant assistance.

For, they should be able to see how your points hang together.

They should be able to see how one leads to another.

Better yet, they should be able to predict what direction your lesson or sermon is taking while you are still in the middle of delivering it.

A sign of an ineffective teacher or preacher is if they regularly take a twist that no one sees coming.

The reason is simple.

You should, for the vast majority of your teaching, be sticking to the tried and tested points and techniques.

There’s a good reason they exist.

Doing so will result in more effective lessons and, ultimately, far more retention of your content because they aren’t being rocked by a theological, intellectual or pedagogical roller coaster.

Even the most boring conversion is remarkable

Over the last term I’ve been teaching my senior class, amongst other things, about the significance of the personality Martin Luther to Christianity and, for my junior class, I’m wrapping up an overview of Christianity. 

As a result, I’ve been teaching quite a bit about the idea of salvation by grace, or as Luther would call it, Sola Gratia.

In short, humanity is saved by a gift of grace, undeserved, which is solely an action of God.

As a result, my thinking about conversion stories has softened.

Many conversion stories are, frankly, kinda boring.

Mine is.

There’s no Damascus moment.

There’s no vision.

There’s no audible voice.

There’s no Prodigal repentance.

There no turning away from sex, drugs or rock’n’roll.

Instead, there’s a slow realisation.

And, this story is remarkable.

Why?

Because what God has done, through Jesus, is remarkable.

This makes every conversion story remarkable.

For, if we are truely saved by grace, then the entirety of our salvation story is based only upon what God has done, not what part - small, large, conservative or dramatic - we may play.