The secret sauce of men’s ministry

Sometimes we complicate ministry.

We give it structure.

We add administration.

We want a funky name and logo.

Effective ministry to men can usually forgo this.

It needs, alongside the logistical needs of a time & place, two requirements.

1. A non threatening environment.

2. Mature male Christians.

If you nail these two… men will more likely come and ministry will naturally occur.

I’m planning to put this to the test.

I’m hoping to do something new.

Time. Place. Food. Chat. No RSVP. No booking. No regular commitment.

Just a location for guys to meet up over dinner.

Somewhere to get to know the guys from church better.

Somewhere non threatening to invite your non Christian mates.

Somewhere to fill your belly and have a chat.

Hopefully, with fewer hoops to jump through, guys will be more likely to take the leap.

What order do you become welcoming?

The following is a ecclesiastical case of the chicken and the egg.

Which one comes first?

Do you see the group you want to especially desire to welcome first? 

Or do you announce that you’re welcoming to a group who, as of yet, have remained absent?

Do you see a bunch of young families intermittently attending your church - but not staying - and subsequently identify the need to be especially “welcoming”?

Or do you never see a young family darken the doors of your church, so you announce that you’re now participating “welcoming” to young families?

Is can happen for almost every demographic…

Divorcees. Widows. Teenagers. LGBTQIA+. Young adults.

Do you see the need or do you announce the desire first?

What do you do in the presence of minor heresy?

My theology is not perfect.

I’m sure that most people, if you trawled this blog deeply enough, would find something they would disagree with. Some may even go so far as to declare that something that I’ve written has ridden the border of heretical.

That being said…

Last weekend I accidentally wandered into a church service where they stated things which I didn’t theologically agree with.

So, what do you do then???

Do you silently accept?

Do you wilfully ignore?

Do you inwardly reject?

Do you vocally object?

In part, it depends on the context.

In a small group setting, you can unleash your contrary opinion. You can openly challenge. You can engage in discussion. That’s the advantage of smaller settings.

But, you may not be able to do this in a larger setting like a church service.

Personally, I usually inwardly reject.

I may follow along with a prayer… but reject the segments where they will invite Mary to intercede on my behalf.

I will celebrate a baptism… but reject if it is insinuated that baptism is required for salvation.

I will reject transubstantiation. 

I will reject tongues as a necessary sign of salvation.

Usually, these are expressed as an inward “NOPE” whenever a troublesome piece of theology raises its head.

But… it will remain silent.

Why?

Because, most issues of contrary theology is not a core issue. They are periphery. They are not salvation issues.

To my faithful brothers and sisters in the faith, my silent rejection is far more respectful than a boisterous objection. 

What should I expect from non-Christians during times of extended prayer?

Christians do plenty of things which are weird. Especially at first.

One of the weirdest must be prayer.

To the unbeliever, it must be baffling.

Particularly times of extended prayer.

During church services, times of prayer can be politely endured. You only need to be silent for a few minutes.

But, how does a newbie feel about lengthy prayer in smaller groups?

10 minutes…

20 minutes…

Half an hour…

Within my small group, it’s not unusual for times of shared prayer to eclipse 30 minutes.

So… how would a fresh churchgoer feel about this?

Bored?

Amused?

Confused?

Could they remain civil like I was during multi-faith scripture services in schools?

Whenever I’m exposed to prayers of another faith I’m… unmoved.

I don’t feel any power nor significant presence.

So, should I expect anything different by those outside of the Christian faith?

The new battleground for remaining “above reproach”

Now the overseer is to be above reproach… 1 Timothy 3:2a.

This is the aim.

No suspicions.

No avenues for gossip.

No hints of impropriety.

When I was a youth group leader in the early 2000’s, and we were weighing up how 1 Timothy 3:2 may apply to those in leadership within our ministry with teens, there was a contentious battleground.

Cars parked in front of houses overnight.

Especially that of the person you are dating.

Why?

Because, if someone recognises the car of your significant other, and the vehicle in question remains stationary from dusk to dawn… what do you think the conclusion is going to be?

You had a sleepover.

And we all know what that leads to…

S. E. X.

Especially of the premarital variety.

Of course, this isn’t a guarantee.

You can share a bed and not have intercourse.

You could be sleeping in separate rooms.

You could have gone to another location and responsibly carpooled.

You could… just not be having sex. Anything else, but sex. Scrabble for example.

But, you will leave yourself open to the accusation or assumption.

Now, I believe there is a new battleground for remaining “above reproach.”

Social media.

The imprint you leave can open the door to suspicion.

You’re both on holidays together… posting your pictures online.

You’re both geolocated together in the early hours of the mourning.

You’re both tagged together all weekend, clearly too far away to be staying back in your own beds.

It’s then very easy to connect the dots.

It’s easy to raise eyebrows.

It’s easy to wonder… what’s exactly going on with the sleeping arrangements.

And… you leave yourself open to the accusation and assumption.

But I suspect that this doesn’t slip into the thinking of many young youth group leaders.

Just as it didn’t trigger curb side alarm bells two decades ago.

In a context where sex should be spoken about and integrity matters - youth group - maybe this new 1 Timothy 3:2 battleground should be weighed up and discussed far more openly.