Who’s prepared to give the REAL sex talk?

When I got married a few months ago I didn’t need a chat about the ins-and-outs of sex. It wasn’t my first wedding.

But, when I initially got married over a decade ago I did have a chat with a mate about the “hidden” details of sex.

What importance do we place upon realistic expectations for newlyweds?

In general, I suspect that the ladies handle this far better. 

I can imagine a woman being prepared to answer the questions a soon-to-be bride might have.

I don’t imagine this for many blokes.

I wonder...
Who will talk to the guy about contraception?
Who will chat to the guy about periods? 
What about sex during menstruation, or lack thereof?
Who will clear up his expectations, depending upon his consumption of porn?
Who will chat, if it’s applicable, about sex as virgins?
What about oral sex?
Orgasms?
Anal sex?
Lube?

No matter if the upcoming groom has hundreds of questions, a few clarifications or one simple enquiry, is there a Christian man willing and able to sit down and have an honest discussion?

Perhaps, we just expect the minister to do this, but I don’t think it’s a part of the usual wedding package.

Furthermore, if we just leave the impending groom to the “wisdom” of the internet, mens’ magazines and his non-believing mates, are we, as a church, doing him a massive disservice?

Can you RSVP death notices?

Over the past two decades I’ve worked at four churches. In general, once you move on from a church you loose contact with most members you had direct pastoral oversight of. As callous as it may sound, it’s only fair for whoever replaces you and you need the physical and emotional space in order to adequately care for those within your new placement.

It goes without saying that you lose complete contact with the wider church you used to work for.

No matter how influential, supportive or foundational a person may be, chances are you’ll hear no updates about their welfare. Facebook may be the only place you’d receive any news. 

But I wonder, when it comes to the pillars of a church you’ve previously had a long term association with, is there a way to keep touch in case you’d want to go to a significant persons’ funeral?

As ghoulish as it may sound, can you periodically check in with a connection still present or outright tell that you’d want notification once someone passes on?

A few weeks ago I was in a hardware store and bumped into a member of my home church, which I haven’t stepped foot in into - even between ministry jobs - for five years. In the few moments we chatted me mentioned that a member of the church, who I knew but had little interaction with, had died. I’m sure he thought the news would have been more shocking to me.

While newsworthy, this casual mention would be an awful way for me to discover the deaths of a few, select, members of prior churches.

I wonder, once you’d been at a church for a lengthy time, should you leave a list of members whom you’d like major updates with so you don’t miss funerals?